08 FebFiction

My new job is quite conducive to listening to music or audio books for the majority of the day. While I must admit that I miss the social interaction of my old job, I’m really enjoying getting to listen to books all day. Since I hear them at work and read them before bed, I figured books would be a great subject to post about. So, here’s what I’m reading (listening to really, but for the sake of brevity, we’re going with reading from now on):

Fool by Christopher Moore – I read Lamb a couple of years ago and promptly fell head over heels in love with Moore. His style, his imagination, his wit… he’s the author equivalent of my soul mate. I’ve read all of his books, and while I enjoyed all of them, none came close to the brilliance of Lamb until Fool. Have you ever seen Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead? If not, you MUST see it immediately. Anyhow, long story short, it’s the story of Hamlet told from the perspective of two minor characters in the play. It’s brilliant. Fool uses much the same concept in that it’s the story of King Lear told from the perspective of a minor character. Namely, the Fool. Moore gives the Fool a background and a personality and really develops quite the likable character out of this “nobody.” He uses a mixture of Shakespearean prose, modern British slang and an ass-load of swearing. (Favorite phrase: fuck stockings.) All in all, I’d put Fool on par with Lamb: Moore at his best.

The Mercy Thompson Series by Patricia Briggs – I’ve read these in paper form, but the next installment of the series will be out on 3/30, so I wanted to refresh my memory of the story line. Briggs does a fantastic job creating a believable world where preternatural creatures live amongst humans in tenuous peace. Mercy is a Walker, but Briggs doesn’t use the original Native American idea of skin walker. She adapts it in a way that really makes it wholly her own. The characters in this series are believable and likable. Well, those that you’re supposed to like are, at any rate. I can’t wait to see what’s in story for Mercy in the next book.

The Kitty Norville Series by Carrie Vaughn – This is another series where the supernatural lives along side the mundane. Vaughn’s heroine, Kitty Norville, is a radio talk show host and werewolf. She’s forced to take an alpha role after years of being an abused submissive in her pack. Kitty is intelligent, witty and full of self-doubt and not a little fear. However, she doesn’t let anything stop her from trying to do what’s right. I didn’t bond with the characters in this series as well as I did in the Mercy Thompson books. I have a hard time accepting the relationships that Vaughn has built for Kitty, but it’s not enough to make me dislike the books. Vaughn does a great job in creating her world and making it believable which is difficult to do in the paranormal fiction genre.

Now it’s your turn: What are you reading? I’ll be needing to load up the ol’ iPod again soon, so spill.

02 FebVanity

Since I’ve lost weight, my face has become noticeably older-looking. Without all the fat underneath to plump it up, I look sort of drawn and gaunt.

Also, WRINKLED.

GAH!

Specifically, those pesky naso-labial folds (aka: laugh lines) are aging me. I keep telling myself to wear them with pride as I’ve obviously smiled A LOT in my life, but who am I kidding? I’m only 33 and I’m wrinkled! I’ll be proud to be wrinkled at 50. Not now.

So, here’s where you come in… can you recommend a good, reasonably priced anti-wrinkle concoction? A moisturizer or treatment or something? I’m clueless about this stuff, but I’ve got my finger on the “add to cart” button over at Amazon. Just tell me what to try.

28 JanChastised

As I was leaving work yesterday, another member of my team was teasing me (good-naturedly) about being stupid. I jokingly, and sotto voce, called her a jackass. No big deal, right?

Wrong.

Today, my boss called me into a conference room to chastise me for it. Item The First: There is absolutely NO PROFANITY tolerated in the workplace. Yes, “jackass” counts as profanity. Item The Second: Calling someone a jackass is “name-calling” and could be an HR issue, should anyone want to pursue it. This serves as my “off the record” warning.

Lessons learned: It’s ok to call a coworker stupid, as that is not technically “a name” nor is it swearing. Also, apparently, I’m 8 years old again.

25 JanUnfortunate

Instead of regaling you with my tale of The Terrible Week (hint: premature labor scare! norovirus! broken bones!) here at the Dressed Up Homestead in a blatant attempt to garner your pity, I shall instead talk about pregnancy/babies. Because who doesn’t love babies?

Communists. That’s who.

There are several “unfortunate” developments in my pregnancy. I’ve reached 22 weeks and have begun to waddle. Seriously, I waddled today. I’ve also got that sway-back action going on. I end up with a sore back every evening because I spend the day over compensating for the weight of  my son’s giant penis my womb.

Also, my belly button is no longer an innie. Well, it’s still an innie, but it’s got a serious case of bloat. It’s almost a flatty. Since I was so overweight when I was pregnant with Maddie, my belly button never popped or even got to be a flatty. I thought I’d be thrilled with getting to experience something I consider to be a normal part of pregnancy this go ’round… instead, I feel like a turkey that’s about to be fully cooked. POP!

In other tragic news, I’ve got cankles at the end of every work day. Despite my constant water/decaf iced tea consumption and 50 trips to the bathroom, that is. My feet nearly burst out of my pink ballet flats today. Not exactly the look I was going for this morning when I got dressed. Good thing my office is casual and I don’t have to worry about wearing dress shoes all the time.

The Boy is in perfect condition, btw. A surprise in-depth sonogram last week showed him to be on track and chugging full speed ahead. He weighed 14 ounces and was all formed with no evidence of defects at all. He’s also Very Active like his sister was. He was actually so active today that it was distracting as I tried to work. I swear to gawd he’s doing scenes from A Chorus Line in there. Maddie’s activity level in utero was definitely indicative of her personality, (read: she’s a hyper spaz) so I hold little hope that The Boy will be calm and mellow. I’m pretty much figuring that I’ll spend most of my time chasing them around and wondering why the hell I ever thought having one kid was a good idea, much less two.

But oh, he’s so adorable. I got to see his little face in the sonogram and he looks like a baby now. Not some amorphous blob or alien being. He’s got a little nose and little cheeks and little fingers and toes. I cannot wait to meet him and introduce him to The Best Big Sister EVAR.

20 JanBright Spots

I’m spending tomorrow evening with a wonderful woman with whom I spend far too little time. The icing on the cake (or death!) is that we’re seeing Eddie Izzard in concert. I absolutely adore Eddie and honestly never thought I’d get a chance to see him in person in my lifetime. To say that it’s going to be a FABULOUS time is the understatement of the decade.

And as if that weren’t enough, in less than a month I’m meeting Donna, Shelly and Becky in Las Vegas! Can you believe it??!! Although, my first trip to Vegas with three known alcoholics social drinkers while being knocked up isn’t the best timing in the world, but soon I’ll be slaving after two kids and when will I get another chance?

I’m having a hard time adjusting to working full-time again and adjusting to Maddie having a hard time going to daycare and these two bright spots are really helping me maintain a positive attitude. Life sure is better with some BFFs!

17 JanThree

DSC_0021Three years ago today, I became a mother for the very first time.

Three years ago today, I was terrified and excited and really hungry.

Three years ago today, I had no idea that I would be able to love another human being as much as love Maddie.

Three years ago today, I had the most painful experience of my entire life.

Three years ago today, I was changed irrevocably.

Three years ago today, I had never been pooped on.

Three years ago today, I had never been barfed on.

Three years ago today, I had no idea how much my patience would be tested.

Three years ago today, I had no idea that the tiny baby in my arms would one day make me laugh and cry and scream and dance.

Three years ago today, I met the girl who would become my favorite girl in the whole, wide world.

Three years ago today, my gorgeous, glorious, crazy Madeleine was born.

Happy birthday, Maddie. I love you so much and I’m so glad you chose me to be your mama.

12 JanTroublesome

Since I’ve been back at work, there’s been some significant changes in Maddie’s behavior. First, she’s much more involved with her dad. Previously, when it was just me and Maddie for 80% of the day, she was very much a mama’s girl. To the point of excluding Gerald and hurting his feelings. Now that I only have two hours a day with her, she’s all about her dad. While this hurts like a knife in the chest, I realize that it’s a great thing and I’m very happy that she and Gerald are getting closer.

However, the other change in her behavior is troublesome, to say the least. When I get home from work she starts acting out. She’s suddenly this terrible brat who bosses me around, talks in a hurtful tone, blatantly disregards rules and things I ask her to do. She’s an A-1 douchebag, people. She’s the kind of kid that used to make me say I’m NEVER having kids. And she’s never been like this before. Sure, she’s had trouble being a good listener, but nothing like this.

Gerald picks her up from daycare at 2:00 and I get home around 5:00. For those three hours with her dad she’s her normal, charming self. I get home and BAM! Instant bratzilla. So, I spend my two precious hours with her fussing and giving time-outs and threatening heinie spankings. All she gets from me is anger and frustration and all I get from her is defiance and bad behavior. What gives? Is she acting out because she’s upset in the change in our normal routine? Is she picking up these behaviors from other kids and testing them out on me? Or, is it because I allow it, as Gerald is apt to believe? He thinks if I crack down on the behavior for a few days that she’ll stop. But it breaks my heart to spend all my time with her being a disciplinarian. I miss her snuggling with me to watch a little TV before bed. I miss her wanting to play with me. I miss liking her.

Have any of you ever dealt with this? Can you shed some light? Offer some assvice? Send me chocolate? Anything at all?

05 JanThe words “cute” and “little” were used in a sentence about ME.

Today at work, an unknown coworker stopped me in the hallway and proclaimed that I was “so cute with my little round belly!” and wanted to know when I was due.

I wanted to hug and kiss her for 1. knowing I was pregnant and not just chunky and 2. calling me cute and my belly little.

When I was pregnant with Maddie, I never heard anything like that. Let’s call a spade a spade… I wasn’t cute and my belly wasn’t little. But that’s ok. I have the awesome experience of having to vastly different pregnancies. Not a whole lot of women can say that, right? Last time I couldn’t find maternity clothes big enough. This time, I’m wearing size small maternity clothes. Last time, I was so fat that Gerald couldn’t feel Maddie kicking. This time he’ll be able to with no problem once the Little Man is strong enough to be felt by anyone other than me.

I know that other pregnant women out there HATE when someone comments on or even rubs their belly, but I’m just eating it up with a spoon. I feel so great about myself! (Except for the face full of zits I’m currently rocking thanks to over zealous exfoliating and moisturizing. What’s the deal with pregnancy sucking all the moisture out of your body? I’m constantly flaking and itchy no matter how much lotion I use. GAH!)

Also, I’m only a few days away from being halfway through this pregnancy. How in the hell is time going by so fast this go ’round??? I guess not being confined to my bed helps, right?

02 JanResolve

All right, I know I said I don’t make New Year’s Resolutions, but everyone else is doing it and suddenly I’m all “HEY! I should make some resolutions, too!” I’m nothing if not a follower. Peer pressure. It’s what’s for dinner.

But, I digress. Let’s get to the resolutions, shall we?

1. I resolve to be less completely addicted to interested in social media. I don’t need to check Twitter from my phone at work every half an hour. I don’t need to update my facebook status a few times a week. I don’t need to read your blog posts AS SOON as you hit “publish.” I’ve been using my laptop as an escape and I want to be involved in the here and now with my family. I seem to have a raging case of the “grass is greener” syndrome.

Example: EVERYTHING will be better once I start working full time and I’m not stuck in the house with a three year old all day, every day.
Oh wait, I don’t like this working full-time stuff. I bet things would be much better if I just stayed home.

2. I resolve to be less selfish. It has occurred to be that I am extraordinarily selfish. I think of myself first in almost every situation. I get put-out if I’m not able to do what I want to do because of Maddie or Gerald. I get pissed if things aren’t done exactly when and exactly the way I want them to be done. I am not the center of the universe and everyone else doesn’t exist just to please me and make my life easier.

3. I resolve to stop raising my voice so much to Maddie and to simply remove her from the situation that’s causing the reprimand. More matter-of-fact time-outs and less yelling to “stop it, already!”

There are some other little things I’d like to work on improving, but these three are BIG DEALS and I want to concentrate on them for now. How about you? Are you resolving anything? If you’ve posted about it, please leave me a link in comments. I want to read them.

31 DecAuld Acquaintence

This is the forth year that I’ve done the New Year’s Meme. That’s gotta be some kind of consistency record for me. Anyhow, let’s get this show on the road because I’ve got pizza waiting to be eaten and movies waiting to be watched. And I’m planning on being in bed before midnight. Don’t judge me. I’m effing tired, yo.

1. What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before?

Met some of the most fabulous women EVAR at BlogHer. (I’m looking at you and you and you and you.) Changed careers. Twice. Got pregnant with a son.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I don’t make them, consequently, it’s wicked easy to keep them. That being said, I do try to make self-improvements whenever I’m aware that they need to be made.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Several internet friends did.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

No.

5. What countries did you visit?

Just the good old US of A.

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?

More money, less stress, more patience, less temper.

7. What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

July for BlogHer and my new tattoo and December 14th for finding out that we’re having a son.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Being brave enough to change careers. Twice.

9. What was your biggest failure?

This answer is the same as it’s been for the last couple of years: I’ve failed to be as patient and loving a mother and wife as I ought to have been.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

No big injuries. Just miscellaneous colds and viruses and whatnot.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

A plane ticket to Chicago.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Everyone that tried to make this world a better place for the rest of us.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

Jon and Kate. Tiger Woods. Chris Brown. The Balloon Boy people. Kayne West.

14. Where did most of your money go?

Shit. If you could tell me, I’d appreciate it.

15. What did you get really excited about?

New jobs, BlogHer, getting pregnant and a hundred other things. I’m easily excited, what can I say?

16. What song will always remind you of 2009?

Poker Face by Lady GaGa.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

– happier or sadder? Happier
– thinner or fatter? Thinner with more of a pronounced belleh.
– richer or poorer? Way poorer.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Enjoying where I was instead of wishing to be elsewhere.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Wishing to be elsewhere.

20. How did you spend Christmas?

At the in-laws down south.

21. Did you fall in love in 2009?

Is it too cheesy to answer that I fell in love with the son growing in my belleh?

22. What was your favorite TV program?

Eureka

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

I don’t hate anyone.

24. What was the best book you read?

Let me just tell you that I’ve ready approximately 115 books this year. There isn’t one in particular that stands out.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?

I’m so embarrassed to answer this one, but here goes: Jay-Z. I am completely obsessed with his discography right now.

26. What did you want and get?

Pregnant, two jobs, to go to BlogHer, a lot of blueberry Poptarts.

27. What did you want and not get?

A trip to Vegas, a second daughter (thank goodness for that!), a million other pieces of junk I didn’t need.

28. What was your favorite film of this year?

Tie between The Hangover and District 9.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I went to San Marcos with my friend, Rachel, to shop and spend the night away from home. I turned 33.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

A paycheck.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?

Oh dear jebus, do yoga pants and t-shirts count as a “concept?” Basically, I ensured I was fully clothed when I left the house. The End.

32. What kept you sane?

Z0loft, my husband, my daughter’s laugh, alcohol, my gorgeous friends.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Robert Downey, Jr. MROW!

34. What political issue stirred you the most?

I’m so unbelievably politically ignorant. It’s tragic, really. Healthcare is a huge concern for me, though.

35. Who did you miss?

My mother.

36. Who was the best new person you met?

Shelly and Donna!

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009.

Be careful what you wish for because you just might get it.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

You can’t always get what you want, but sometimes, you just might get what you need.