Fun Fact Friday

* Now that I’m finally feeling better, Gerald has come down with the Upper Respiratory Infection from Hell. I’m pretty sure it’s much worse being the non-sick spouse than the sick one. And Gerald’s not even a Giant Baby like most men are when they’re sick. He does, however, get SUPER pissy.

* I’m pretty sure my boobs have been possessed by some sort of giant, blue-veined demon. Last night I rolled over onto my stomach and holy hell! The Pain!

* I’m looking for a new job. A full-time office job. We’ve decided to just bite the bullet and wipe out as much debt/accrue as much savings as possible before Baby Numero Dos gets here. I’ve applied for eleventy-seven jobs in the last two weeks and so far I’ve heard back from approximately 0% of them. I’m starting to get a little paranoid and a lot depressed.

* I was planning on taking Maddie out to do something fun today (either the zoo or the State Fair) but it’s pouring. So, I’m stuck here with a stir-crazy kid and a pissy sick husband. SCORE!

* To combat my aversion to getting bigger as a my pregnancy progresses, I’ve started browsing maternity clothes online. It’s totally helping, too. I love that I can wear “normal” sized maternity clothes this time around and I’m having fun planning outfits for my imaginary new job.

Fun Fact Friday – the TV edition

* Did I tell you that we canceled our DirecTV and TiVo subscriptions? We were paying over $120 a month and hardly ever watched TV. We canceled it last month and now I’m watching more TV than ever. We’re using Hulu and Netflix Instant Watch. It’s costing us less than 1/4 of what we used to pay and we’re happier.

* Gerald and I are in love with Defying Gravity. Watch it, or I’ll stab you.

* I’ve been watching Arrested Development after work. I didn’t watch it first go ’round, and I realize this makes me a colossal fool. The show is absolute perfection.

* I’ve started watching Lost. Again, I didn’t watch it when it first came on. Gerald did, but stopped last season. So, we’re watching it together from the beginning. I’ve only seen 3 episodes, but I can confidently say that shit is effed up.

* We’re also watching Warehouse 13 on SyFy. WTF is up with SciFi changing the spelling of the network? I mean, really? How asinine is “SyFy?” If 99% of the shows I like weren’t on that network, I’d boycott.

* Speaking of more shows on that network, do you watch Eureka? You should be. See the aforementioned stabbing.

Ok, so what else should we be watching?

Fun Fact Friday!

* I absolutely loathe wintergreen. Just the smell makes me sick. You’d be surprised how many toothpastes are wintergreen instead of mint. To be absolutely sure that I don’t accidentally purchase vomit-inducing wintergreen, I buy crazy toothpastes. The most recent is children’s strawberry with extra fluoride. It tastes like ass, but at least it doesn’t try to kill me with it’s wintergreenness. *shudder*

* Today is my last day of training at The Restaurant. Tomorrow I’ll be on my own and taking home my hard-earned tips instead of giving them all to my trainer. Gah. That makes me feel like a hooker turning over cash to her pimp.

* My kid wants to watch Thomas and Friends every waking moment of every day. We don’t, of course, but I end up seeing WAY more Thomas than I care to. I can’t get over what a douchebag Gordon is. I mean, really? You’re a fucking train. What’s there to be so stuck up about?

* I’ve tried really hard to like Kings of Leon but I just don’t. Maybe I’m not cool enough.

* Maddie likes for me to sing the Mail Song from Blue’s Clues every time we get the mail together. The ridiculous thing is that I sing it to myself when I’m ALONE and getting the mail.

* The horrible loose skin on my upper arms is bothering me more and more as each day passes. I’m *this close* to slathering on some Anbesol and hacking it off in the garage. DIY plastic surgery at it’s finest.

Fun Fact Friday – The Triumphant Return!

* Maddie is completely and totally obsessed with Wall-E. We’ve watched approximately eleventy kajillion times. I woke up to the sound of her singing about her “wobots” this morning. It’s kind of adorable.

* I’m officially no longer employed at The Workplace. I know you’re all DYING to know the sitch, but I’m afraid it’s going to be pretty anticlimactic for you. Long and incredibly boring story short: There was a reorg and my position was eliminated. I was put back on the phones which is the job I started out in four years ago. I hate the phones. And it was such a slap in the face that every promotion I’d earned over the course of four years was wiped out in one fell swoop. Add a batshit crazy senior manager and it was a recipe for disaster. I tried my best to make it work, but it just wasn’t happening. I tried to negotiate with the batshit crazy manager but her batshit craziness sort of got in the way and I ended up having to resign. The day after I resigned I got a job waiting tables at a local restaurant. I’ve gotten some strange looks from folks when I tell them I’m giving up being a stockbroker in favor of being a waitress, but you know what? I’m so excited about it. I’m so ready to get out of the finance industry and learn something new. I don’t need to work, but I’m no good at being poor. I just need some spending money and no drama.

* Maddie’s spending the night with my dad and his wife tonight. Gerald and I are going on a real live date and sleeping in late tomorrow. WOO HOO!

* Sunday, Maddie and I are going to visit Gerald’s family down south. I’m going to stay until Wednesday and then come home and Maddie’s going to stay with her Nana and Papa until Saturday. That way Gerald has some free time while I’m in Chicago.

* Speaking of Chicago, BlogHer is in six days. I’ve gotten my hair cut, eyebrows waxed and a pedicure. I’m mentally packing and repacking trying to decide what to wear. I’m rehearsing my pick up lines and party banter. I’m loading my Kindle with books for the flight there and back. I think I’m ready for this.

* I threw myself a happy hour shindig on Wednesday night to say goodbye to my coworkers and friends. It was the most fun I’ve had in a long time. I got shitfaced and embarrassed the hell out of myself. If I hadn’t already resigned I would have had to after that. There was no way I could face those people again. I’m told there was a lot of eye-contact avoidance at work the next morning. AWKWARD.

Mediocre Fact Friday!

* I’m not supposed to blog about The Workplace so I can’t go into details, but there was a massive reorg that fucked my shit up old school. Apparently, I’m deathly afraid of change and the unknown. And reorg = change + unknown. Therefore, I’m not a happy camper these days. I keep telling myself that it’s An Adventure! and that I ought to be Excited! So far, I’m not listening to myself.

* I’ve lost 120 lbs. This puts me 25 lbs over my doctor’s lowest goal for me. I don’t expect to get there without the benefit of plastic surgery. This flabbity flab must weigh at least 10 lbs, right? So, I’m calling it 15 lbs away from goal. I’d like to be there by BlogHer (55 days!) but I don’t think that’ll happen. Whatev. I’m totally not sweating it. I mean, I’m technically no longer obese and only 25 lbs overweight. I cannot remember the last time that statement was true. Honestly, I’m happy where I am. I’m not super skinny,  but I eat pretty much what I want to. I call that a fair trade.

* I’m having a girl’s day out with two of my bffs today. My bff Dr. H just graduated medical school so I’m taking her out for a pedis and eyebrow waxes and lunch. Then I’m seeing a movie with my bff A. I’m super excited to see my girls and to forget my troubles for a while.

* I took Maddie to the zoo last weekend to ride the train. Oh my. I thought she was going to stroke out from happiness. All she wanted to do was ride the train. She wasn’t interested in seeing any animals at all. Except the “mingos” because they’re on the way to the train station. She has a serious love affair going on with trains. I’m pretty sure she’d like me to arrange a marriage between her and Thomas.

* I’ve finally found the magic combination of self- tanning products that works perfectly for me. On the weekend, I give myself two coats of Banana Boat Airbrush Summer Color. Then, every other day during the week, I use the Jergens Natural Glow lotion to keep things from fading unevenly. It looks natural and not too dark. I’m super pleased with the lack of pasty white legs.

Friday Fun Facts – The Picking-Up-Where-We-Left-Off Edition

* I bought Maddie a xylophone at Target yesterday. She loves to make “meekick,” and I thought her little head would explode from happiness when she saw the xylophone. Apparently, I was only engaging the “fun mom who loves to make her kid happy” side of my brain. This morning, as she makes her “meekick,” I’m completely in touch with the “never buy your kid annoying toys, you idiot!” side of my brain. Sweet 8 pound 5 ounce baby Jesus, that toy is annoying.

* I’m finally on the mend from the Sinus Infection from Hell plus Pinkeye. It’s so nice to feel good again.

* Tomorrow morning, my bff from high school and I are roadtripping down to San Marcos. As my anniversary/mother’s day/birthday gift, Gerald gave me a trip to go shopping and spend the night in a hotel where there are NO XYLOPHONES. Also, there are clothes to buy!  Yay!

* Gerald’s parents will be here on Monday. His mom has to have surgery in Dallas, so they’ll be staying with us beforehand. We thought they were coming up last weekend, so we spend the entire weekend cleaning. They had to postpone the surgery, but at least my house is clean. Now all we have to do is tidy up before Monday. Score!

* My dad’s birthday was Wednesday and we’re celebrating tonight. I’m making his favorites: beef stroganoff and spice cake with cream cheese frosting.

* I got some shorts on clearance at Target yesterday and they’re a size 14. That’s EIGHT sizes smaller than I wore last summer. It’s surreal. I’m only eight pounds away from my surgeon’s goal for me. I was telling Gerald that I’d be ok with not loosing anymore weight. I feel good right here. I want plastic surgery to chop off all the saggy/wobbly bits, but I feel good at this size.

* I regularly voluntarily take the stairs at work now. Two flights, even. Unthinkable!

Wow. You’d think that the Friday Facts would be more interesting after such a long absence from posting.

You’d be wrong.

Fun Fact Friday – The Early Edition

I know I haven’t been around much lately. I’m still trying to get into some sort of new routine with my shiteous work schedule. At any rate, here are some Friday Facts delivered on Wednesday night. Friday morning when all your friends/coworkers are reading the Friday Facts, you’ll already know them and you can totally one-up them. You’re welcome.

* Three weeks in and I’m still loving my job… with the exception of the above mentioned schedule. And that’s my own choice. “Better for Maddie, blah blah blah.” I miss Maddie like crazy on my work days and I find that I’m eager to spend time playing with her on my days off. As opposed to finding it a drudgery when it was 24/7.

* I’ve noticed some irritating habits of mine lately. Meaning that I’ve NOTICED them recently, not that the habits are recent. I’m pretty sure I’ve done them for a long, long time. First, I apologize all the friggin’ time. 99% of the time I’m neither in the wrong nor am I sincere in my apology, so wtf? I just automatically apologize to other people for imagined slights or transgressions. Also, I’m an interrupter. I get all excited about a conversation and I just can’t seem to wait my turn. I even finish other people’s sentences for them. Of course, I immediately apologize for it.

* I’m disproportionately saddened about Natasha Richardson. I have no idea why, but her accident and death have hit me hard.

* Last weekend, Tess, pointed out that I use Dog Whisperer techniques on my kid. Specifically, whenever Maddie’s about to do, or in the middle of doing something I don’t want her to do, I go “EENNNHHH!” loudly. She almost always immediately stops. At least I don’t poke her in the neck. That’s something, right?

* Thanks to my friend, Becky, I’m completely in love with the author Lisa Lutz. Seriously, read her Spellman series.

* I have increased my multi-vitamin, folic acid and calcium intake in preparation for Operation Second Kid. By starting months before the actual conceiving will take place, I’ve guaranteed that I’ll be supplemented appropriately as soon as I get pregnant. Then there’ll be nothing to worry about as far as vitamin levels go. “Oh no! I’m pregnant and I haven’t been getting enough folate and the baby will be riddled with birth defects!” You know, stuff like that.

* Only four months ’til BlogHer. I found out this week that another of my VERY FAVORITE bloggers will be attending. I can hardly believe that so many of my favorite people will be in one place at the same time. Oh jeez. I just had a panic attack over the heretofore unreached levels of social awkwardness that I’ll be experiencing. I’ll be lucky if only one person is still brave enough to speak to me afterward. (It’ll probably be Becky since I’ve known her for more than 20 years and she’s seen more awk from me than you can even imagine.)

*Bonus Fact: Thanks to my mad mix-n-matching skillz, I worked for three weeks and never repeated an outfit. Am officially fashionista.

Getcher Hot Fresh Friday Facts!

* I had dinner with some of the moms from my meetup group last night. (I joined again in an effort to be social and not such a giant loser.) Anyhow, it was fabulous. They were fun and surprisingly inappropriate. (You know I like my friends inappropriate, right?) I’m super excited to be a part of the group.

* Still no official word on getting my job back. It’s in the bureaucracy stage, but things look good.

* I’ve started taking Maddie to open play at a local gymnastics center. On Wednesday we were the only people there so we spent an hour and a half on the trampolines. I’m more convinced than ever that I need one of my own.

* I had my very first facial yesterday. It was even better than I’d hoped. Also, I learned that my skin isn’t oily or acne-prone and I really need to stop using the same cleanser I used in high school.

* I refuse to believe that my freckles are sun damage. They’re freckles and they’re adorable, damn it. I do not want to get rid of them.

* Have I ever told you that I’m addicted to Burt’s Bees lip balm? Seriously. I have a tube in my bathroom, one in my purse and one on the end table right next to my chair in the living room. I also have three unopened tubes on deck so that I’m never, ever caught without it.

* I don’t like ChapStick at all. Too waxy. Bleh.

* Maddie is obsessed with Finding Nemo. We have a salt water aquarium in the living room and we have clown fish and a blue tang. She calls them “Memo, Memo’s daddy and Dody.” She knows starfish, sharks, puffers, dolphins and seals by name. How cool is that? She’s my tiny marine biologist.

* While I think Valentine’s Day is a complete waste, I did get Maddie her own little box of chocolates. I mean, how could I not get her something? Damn you, greeting card companies and florists! You win again!

* I always wanted a nickname, but never got one.

Friday Fun Facts

* I don’t type correctly. I use what I like to think of as an “advanced hunt and peck method.” It’s really just super fast hunting and pecking. Also: A lot of mistakes

* I haven’t heard back from my boss on whether or not I can have my old job back. That sound you hear? That’s me getting poorer by the second. Of course, if I stopped spending money like I still had a job, things might be better. But let’s just ignore that for now, shall we?

* I just finished the latest Stephanie Plum book. It was good, but it seemed to me that Janet Evanovich was trying a little too hard this time.

* I wanted to take Maddie to the Stock Show tomorrow, but it’s going to be 41 degrees. (It was in the 80s today.) Now I can’t think of anything else to do tomorrow instead. (Gerald’s going to be at a conference all day, so it’s just me and Maddie.)

* My insomnia had been terrible lately so I’ve taken @mbien the last couple of nights to try and reset my sleep cycle. I do the weirdest shit on @mbien. Last night I got up and used a lint roller on the sleep/eye mask thing before I put it on. (I had to put it on because I hallucinate something fierce on those pills. The lights from my alarm clock and baby monitor freak me the hell out.) In the past, I’ve also been known to sleep-eat while taking it. Thank goodness that hasn’t happened since my surgery… I could end up in serious trouble.

Fun Fact Friday

* We got new neighbors next door. I’m considering making some Pioneer Woman cinnamon rolls for them as a welcome gift. I’ve never done that before, though, and I’m a little nervous. The welcome gift giving, I mean. Will I look like a dork? You see, we couldn’t stand the last family that lived next door. They were renting the house and didn’t care about it. Their kids ran wild and were always throwing stuff into our backyard. I’d kind of like to get off on the right foot with these neighbors. It’d be nice to have a friendly relationship with them, you know?

* I bought some new makeup yesterday and tried to give myself a Dita Von Teese look. Let’s just say I’m no Dita Von Teese. I showed it to Gerald and he proclaimed that it looked good…….. for a drag queen.

* I haven’t lost any weight since Thanksgiving. It’s disheartening, but from what I’ve gathered it’s natural to have little stalls. I get nervous that I’m going to fail and not lose anymore weight. Granted a size 16/18 isn’t a bad place to stop, but it’s not what I’d prefer.

* Gerald has the next two weeks off from work. Maddie and I are really looking forward to having him around. For the first couple of days, at least. We’ll probably get sick of him before it’s all said and done.

* I’m going to see The Nutcracker tomorrow night. I’m really looking forward to getting all dressed up and doing a grown-up thing. Yes, there will be pictures.

* I’m seeing a movie with TESSIE tonight. Yes, I know you’re jealous. Why else would I make a point to tell you?