Responsibility

I got a comment on Monday’s post stating that the reader thought I was being irresponsible in regard to going off my medication. She also stated that “The episode you had in the car while returning home from the trip was understandable but not everyone would have melted down quite so bad. It would have been worse without the meds or maybe was worse because you were stopping meds.”

Let’s talk about that, shall we? First of all, how do you know the episode would have been worse without the meds? Are you my doctor? Are you a very close personal friend and confidant? I’m assuming you answered “no” to both of those questions since I don’t know you. Therefore, you’re pretty much completely unqualified to render such a judgment.

Also, “not everyone would have melted down quite so bad?” This automatically means that I require psychiatric medication? Of course not everyone would have melted down quite so bad! And guess what? There are other people that would have melted down even worse. We all handle these things differently based on extenuating circumstances, mental health and past experience. Simply because I handled the situation poorly and engaged in inappropriate behavior does not mean that I’m irresponsible for wanting to see if I’m taking medication needlessly. If I don’t need to be medicated, but instead need behavioral therapy, then that’s what I ought to be doing. Medication does not control my behavior. I do. I will not blame my meltdown on the fact that I had lowered my Z0loft dosage.

I don’t feel it was irresponsible to wean myself off of these medications. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have started doing it and I damn sure wouldn’t have told the world at large about doing it. I thought it would be a waste of a trip to Dallas to visit the doctor, a waste of a co-pay, and a waste of her time so that she could tell me how to wean myself off the medication AGAIN (she explained how when I was first considering getting pregnant). However, my husband and some very close friends thought that it would be best to let the doctor know what was going on. No problem. I have an appointment with her tomorrow afternoon.

I appreciate comments on this blog. I even appreciate comments that express differing viewpoints. That’s part of what makes being a public diarist so fun. However, I do not appreciate blanket statements that are intended to guilt or embarrass myself or my readers. Please make a note of it. Thank you.

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