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Smartitude
July 27th, 2010
Disclaimer: I’m not trying to be doocey douchey and all “My kid can read! Did I mention my kid can read? Books with chapters!” This is something Gerald and I are dealing with and y’all know how I love to share.
So, Maddie’s smart. Like, wicked smart. Like “the pediatrician labeled her a genius” and “her preschool director called me and asked permission to move her up a class this fall” smart. This is no surprise to us, of course. When she was younger, we’d see her do or hear her say something and look at each other and wonder “do other kids her age do/say this kind of stuff?” As we became better acquainted with kids her age, we realized the answer was “no.” Don’t get me wrong; she’s not some kind of scary prodigy that’s destined to graduate Cornell at the age of 14. However, she’s smart enough that we need to have a game plan on how to handle it, y’know?
First of all, we’ve decided not to tell her that she’s wicked smart. Who needs that kind of pressure? Instead, when she’s tried to do something, regardless of whether she succeeds or fails, we applaud the effort she gave. When I was still pregnant with her we read a study that said that linking praise to success can lead to kids feeling like a complete failure if they don’t succeed. That the only good outcome is winning. I don’t care if she comes home with a D- in Algebra if a D- is the best she can do. If she sweat for that D-, then it’s as good as an A to me. If she’s lazy and doesn’t apply herself and still gets a B-, then I’m not as thrilled. So, we focus on the effort she extends, not the outcome.
We also try to strike that precious balance between providing opportunities for her to learn vs. ramming it down her throat. For example, she’s *this close* to reading and I credit it to starfall.com. We started going through the alphabet on the site with her about a year and a half ago, maybe two years. And not for any other reason than it entertained her. She loves to sit in our laps with the MacBook and surf the ‘net. We figured we ought to balance out the kitty videos on YouTube with something vaguely educational. She ended up preferring starfall to anything else. Honestly, her being able to read this early is completely an accident on our part.
Now that we realize what we’re working with as far as her potential is concerned, things seem a little more daunting. Gerald and I were both gifted as kids and completely squandered it, albeit for different reasons. I was lazy and HATED homework so I never did it. I barely graduated high school despite scoring insanely high on ACT. (That score was the only reason I was accepted into college.) Gerald, on the other hand, was misdiagnosed as learning disabled and wasn’t given the chance to prove otherwise until high school. By then, he was so disillusioned with the entire academic world that he blew off college entirely. (Ironically, he now works for one of the best universities in the country.) We both desperately want to avoid these situations with Maddie. We don’t want to send her to public school for two main reasons: 1. The public school system in Texas SUCKS ASS. Seriously, we’re at the bottom of the barrel. 2. The possibility that she’ll fall through the cracks is astronomical. Teachers are spread too thin, paid too little and expected to do too much to be able to pay attention to each of their students and their respective potential. This, of course, leaves us with two options: We can send her to private school and hope that the smaller class size equals more one-on-one attention, or we can homeschool her.
Currently, the state of Texas doesn’t require any sort of registration or certification to homeschool a child. It’s easy to get into and there are plenty of co-ops in our area so the issue of social development is moot. My big concern is that I’m simply not smart enough to keep up with her. I can get her through college-level reading and science, but math? Not so much. I am completely, hopelessly, embarrassingly bad at math. (This is because I tend to think logarithmically and not by integers, but whatev.) How am I supposed to teach her shit I can’t do? Also, will I go batshit crazy being around her and Sam 24/7? (Answer: YES.)
I guess it’s time to figure it all out. She’s in the kindergarten prep preschool class this year so we need to have a plan in place for next year. I swear, these kids are going to be the death of me. If it’s not “feed me! entertain me! provide shelter!” it’s “educate me!” and “help me live up to my potential without becoming That Kind of Parent!”
test Filed under maddie | Comments (16)16 Responses to “Smartitude”
Would you seriously homeschool? The very thought scares the crap out of me. If I live for the 2.5 hours a day my kid goes to pre-school, I know I could not handle her all day every day. You are a better man than me, Charlie Brown!
I considered homeschooling, and if I become unhappy with our school (none of my kids have started yet… kdg starts in 2 weeeekkkksss!) then I will re-consider it. But, the thought terrifies me. ack!
Private school is just not something we can financially do, it would be over half our income by the time all ourkids were in school in the next 5 years. Good luck deciding. It’s such a big decision!
I agree that public schools are not great but being the bleeding heart liberal that I am, I just can’t send her to private school. I think that if everyone with the means does that, then the whole public school system will implode. I think that public schools need more active and involved families working with the districts and PTAs to enrich the experience for all children, and to fight for the schools. I think that on an individual family level as well there are many things you can do to enrich a public school education. When we were kids our parents just thought the schools knew best and stayed out of it. We know better now.
Oh, and homeschooling for me? HELL TO THE NO. I don’t even pretend for a second I could do it. But if you have the motivation, I admire you.
You’re my hero if you homeschool. I am so looking forward to the days Benjamin goes to preschool and am looking into sending him a third day. Also, our kindergartens are going to full day next year which screws up the student teacher ratio – 30 kids all day, rather than two sets of fifteen kids. Anyway, a quick look into private schools revealed that their class sizes were no better. This is such a hard decision and I’m not helping you at all with my blathering on!
I feel the same way as Donna about public vs. private school. Plus, after struggling to pay tuition for J’s kids the last 10 years (4 more to go!) I would never consider it for a kid of mine. But then you’ve got the whole Texas re-written history book thing, which would be really hard for me to deal with.
I cannot imagine homeschooling because of the no-separation-ever aspect. But as far as being able to teach stuff you weren’t good at? I wouldn’t worry about it. There has to be a way to deal with it. There are too many homeschoolers for me to believe that you have to be the expert on everything. You’re helping them learn, not telling them what you know.
We considered homeschooling. We really did. But now that my children are in public school, I realize how much better it is for them. Not for all kids, but for MY kids, being in school has been enriching far beyond what I could have provided at home.
I think the main thing that I love is the diversity/adversity that they get from school. I think it’s important for them to have a few struggles that are guided and worked through by someone besides me.
Also, my experience is that if the parents are involved in their child’s education (emailing and talking with the teacher often, volunteering at school, swinging by for lunch etc), the child won’t fall between the cracks. I’ve befriended all of my kids’ teachers, and have felt that it’s helped me feel like they had a vested interest in my kid. Though, from everything I’ve seen, they seem vested in all the kids.
(I mention this b/c my girls are very bright too. As first graders their math and reading skills were at a 4th grade level.)
In any case, I realize that my sitch is way different that yours. Our schools are underfunded as well, but I feel we still have excellent schools.
Oh! One more thing: have you considered your ability to “fit in” with the home school crowd? It seems like home schoolers are either a) uber-religious or b) ultra crunchy or c) some odd combo of both. I love me some crunch, but the crunchy homeschoolers I know are, like, FLAKY-CRUNCHY. Like “I FINALLY drew the line with little A’s nursing. If she wants to nurse at night, she’ll have to come to MY ROOM.” Btw, “little A” is 4 years old, and while I’m not against nursing that long, I hardly see it as a parenting triumph to demand the 4 year old haul her ass to MY bed to suckle all night, ya know?
Any chance that your local public school has a gifted program? I went to public school K-12 and there were always opportunities for kids who excelled academically or at least were more engaged and/or gifted programs.
For example my high school had regular classes, honors, AP courses and a college prep program that you didn’t have to test into but had to be willing to work hard and learn.
Thumbs up on having a smarty boots on your hands!
(That’s all I’ve got. No other helpful tidbits. Sorry.)
Shelly, I’ll be honest and say the thought of homeschooling gives me an eye twitch.
MG – You are SO! RIGHT! about the Fitting In. Unless there are homeschool moms with tattoos who habitually drop F Bombs, then I’m afraid I may be a tad bit outside the norm.
I meant to comment yesterday, but the day got away from me (three kids, husband with a concussion – surprise, surprise). I agree, TX schools suck big time and I taught in them for years so I’ve got first hand experience in witnessing the suckage. Even though she doesn’t qualify (reading Harry Potter at 6 years old, but I’m not bitter or anything…), my daughter’s school has an excellent GT program to ensure that the smart kids don’t fall through the cracks. Also, some districts offer transfers/lottery systems so you can choose what kind of elementary school your kid goes to (one may focus on science, another on arts, another may be dual-language, etc.) so that may be worth checking into. Also, don’t count out charter schools. The ones I’ve encountered (as a parent and a former teacher) are either totally awesome or a huge waste of time. You gotta be careful to avoid the sucky ones, but the awesome ones…well, they’re fabulous and not pricey like the private schools (which we will never be able to afford).
Homeschooling….It takes a really brave (or stupid) person to do this. I love my kids, but I think we’d kill each other if I had to teach them all day and never get a break. But that’s me. It obviously works for other people; I just don’t think I’d be one of them.
But I’d totally try a homeschool co-op kinda thing with you if we lived closer. I’m one of those tattooed moms who occasionally throws out an inappropriate word here and there, too.
P.S. You might want to check out the Montessori method of teaching with Maddie. She sounds like the perfect candidate for it. Just make sure that the schools you look at are certified in it….some schools claim to follow the method but don’t.
Yes, fbombs are important. And I wish I was kidding, but I’m not. I can’t stand sanctimonious people. EVER.
I dunno. There’s also something about homeschoolers around here (not all, but many) that are still stuck on that mode of “my kid is the center of the WORLD and you should thinks so too” that makes me crazy. Putting a kid in school, especially public school, nips that train of though in the bud, which is good, I think. For the kid(s) AND the parents. A kid that can figure out how to function as part of a bigger group learns something valuable, I think.
In any case, you’ll figure out what’s best for her. And you and the rest of your family.
No advise, but just wanted to say that we love starfall too! Jim found it (cause I am totally lazy about educational stuff and he’s all over it!) and now both our kids can totally navigate the computer screen and the mouse by themselves, which seems pretty darn cool to me. And, y’know, they know their letters and sounds! I don’t think either of them are exceptionally smart, from what I can tell- no magically teaching themselves to read or anything, and Addy’s almost five- but that actually relieves me, cause the stuff you’re going through now with decisions for Maddie sounds HARD. Good luck!
Hi,
Wow, lots of good advice. I was very, very, bored in school (they limited the number of students in the gifted program), but I loved to read and learn new things on my own so I survived (middle school was the toughest). It sounds like enrichment, working with the kids, and being involved with their education is the top of the list. I hope that you and Gerald will be able to find a solution that works for Maddie (it’s not one size fits all even though many of the public schools would have you think so).
Dealing with a similar situation here. I have a 3-year-old (almost 4) who reads third grade level chapter books and totally gets mathematical concepts. I am trying to take steps to get her early entry to kindergarten (in the fall of 2011) in a school district where an exception hasn’t been made to the cut-off date in 15 years. I am lucky in that I live in an excellent school district, but they do have a shortcoming where it comes to dealing with early entry for advanced children. So I have to petition the district and school board this year armed with research that says that for truly gifted kids, early entry is a good thing and there are no social issues, since gifted kids tend to interact better with older kids socially. The elementary school gifted teacher in the district (who has had all my older three kids) has suggested that I also have her IQ tested to help in the process, so that will be done later this month (luckily we know a child psychologist who is doing it for a donation to the troubled kids school where she works rather than the huge fee that a privately conducted IQ test normally costs).
My suggestion is this: Don’t just assume that because Texas public schools in general suck, that your particular district does. Check it out to see first hand. I grew up in SC, where the public schools also generally suck, but my district was great, I was in the gifted program, did great on the SAT and was accepted and offered scholarships to every college to which I applied. So going to public school in a state that scores badly as far as public schools go does not necessarily mean that your particular district is that bad. Remember that those ratings are based on average scores, maybe your district has schools that kept the average from being even worse. Of course I say all this because the idea of homeschooling makes me want to poke hot needles into my eyes.