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Damned if you do. Damned if you don’t. Pretty much you’re just damned.
July 1st, 2010
Like millions of other stay-at-home moms, I can’t help but continually run the pros and cons in my head. If I went back to work, how much would I have to make in order to have a profit above and beyond paying for two kids in daycare? Would my kids benefit from being around other kids more often or would I essentially letting someone else raise my kids for me? There’d be no time for fun stuff on the weekends because I’d have to get all my errands done then. But, there’d be MONEY with which to do fun things if we had time to do them!
Yesterday, I talked to a good friend/old boss and she told me that my old workplace was going through a huge change and they were going to need someone with my specific licenses and experience. She said if I was interested in coming back to let her know and she’d talk to whomever. I’ve been thinking about it non-stop since then. I vacillate between believing that my kids are better off without material things and with my presence in their lives, and being so tired of being surrounded by tiny dictators and broke. I guess we’re never fully satisfied with what we’ve got, are we?
test Filed under complaining, sahm | Comments (6)6 Responses to “Damned if you do. Damned if you don’t. Pretty much you’re just damned.”
Man, I do love this post! This is how I feel almost everyday. With one on the way, I know now that I definitely have to stay home. But, since my first is school-age now, he’ll get to be around kids his age and learn from someone other than myself….for free. Now I keep thinking if this second one wasn’t on the way, would I be right back at work? Most days, the answer is yes, but some days I remember how great it feels to be able to spend quality time with my family that isn’t determined by when both parents have free time from work. Damn that Catch-22…
I haven’t figured this out yet either. Now that my kids are getting older, I’ve been feeling the (self-imposed, probably) pressure to DO something… but I’m not sure what I want to do, and I don’t know how to go about figuring it out. I mean, there’s lots of things I want to do, interests I have etc… but then what happens when I have a sick kid? Or during Christmas vacation? or summer?
I honestly wrestle with this all the time… so many “options”, but none of them seem “right”…
I may just be high from HANGING MY WET CLOTHES ON A CLOTHESLINE, but in my current head state (okay, I also had several shots of vodka) I’m inclined to see it as WE CAN’T LOSE. If we chose work/daycare, we win because we get money and adult stuff and resume maintenance and the child gets social stuff and etc. And if we choose stay home, we win because we don’t pay for daycare and we can do our errands during the day and we can say “Yes” when pediatrician says “And he’s home with you?”
I’ve been struggling with this for YEARS, so if you (or one of your wise readers) figures it out, please let me know. Some days I feel perfectly content being at home, clipping coupons and wiping bottoms. And other days I wonder why I bothered going to college at all and find myself feeling wistful for all the things I can’t give my kids due to the lack of income. I’m sure that doesn’t help you, but just know you’re not alone. Not at all.
Being a mom just has all sorts of hard choices. That is one of the sucky things about it for sure! Good luck with your decision!!
Personally – we put our children in day-care and all is well. There are drawbacks to every situation, but I felt like I enjoyed them more when I was with them because we weren’t together 24/7. Also, dad has a job where he’s gone a good bit and it gave me (and the children) interaction with others!
Just my opinion, but it worked for us and the darling daughters are grown with no horrible side-effects!!!!