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Not coping very well
June 8th, 2010
So, it seems that once again I’m not coping well with the postpartum crap. I really thought it was going to be ok this time, but it’s not. My temper is always right there under the surface. Any tiny infraction on Maddie’s part and I’m all over her. I’m snappy and pissy and generally filled to the brim with “woe is me why do I have to do everything why am I the only responsible person in this house” bullshit. And I do know that it’s bullshit. Gerald’s a HUGE help in addition to working two jobs from home right now. But let him forget to take out the trash and suddenly I’m at DEFCON 1. I know that I’m overreacting and that my emotions are out of sync with reality but the frustrating part is that I can’t seem to do anything about it.
I’m still on the Z0loft, so maybe my dosage needs to be upped for a while? I see my OB on Monday, so I’m going to ask him if he thinks that might help. Or maybe I might need to switch meds? I don’t know if one can get used to an antidepressant and have it lose it’s effectiveness. All I know is that I don’t want to be this mean, self-righteous person anymore.
test Filed under confessional, happy pills | Comments (12)12 Responses to “Not coping very well”
So sorry you’re feeling this way. Maybe the hormones have thrown your dose or medication out of whack, but try to give yourself a little bit of a break. You just had a baby, you’re sleep deprived and your body is trying to reset itself. You’re allowed to have a short temper. Though I do hope you’re able to find a solution because it sounds like this is no fun. Good luck!
Oh, I’m so sorry. I hope that your OB can help on Monday. I’m thinking the same thing as Jess – your current meds are at the level from before you had Sam, and your chemistry is not the same right now. (Right? Like I know anything about anything, but it could make sense.)
Hang in there! At least you know what it is and can identify it! Will be sending good thoughts your way!
I had that same feeling after I had my second child, and never eally attributed it to postpartum. But slowly I could see the anger was just always kind of there with me, like a shabby coat.
I just finally saw my OB and said ok, fix this rollercaoster of emotions and was put on a low dose of Effexor. I feel ashamed to be on an AD, but not sure why I would, when it means that my quality of life will be better. I already can feel the effects loosening up my need to control and do everything….
You do build up tolerances to medications. Perhaps all your symptoms aren’t covered by the Zoloft? Not only have you just had a baby but you are changing as you get older.
Good luck, this time is a tough one.
Ugh. Effing hormones. For me it’s constant tears and anxiety rather than angry and bitter. Still, crappy. I am hoping your OB can offer a better solution. And the constant swaddle escaping can be maddening in and of itself. I can remember having to walk out of the room and take a few deep breaths after the incessant escaping.
I was the same way. I found it really helpful to talk to Paul in my brief flashes of sanity and perspective. I would say, “Listen, I know I am being a CRAZY PERSON, and I even know it WHILE I am being a crazy person but I can’t seem to stop. So just know that I DO love you and I DO know you do a bunch of stuff around here, but I am ALSO temporarily out of my mind and I don’t want to hear any crap about it because I JUST HAD YOUR BABY GODDAMMIT!!!”
Hang in there.
I was a raving lunatic the other night (it involved yelling at my husband as he walked away from me. I even yelled at him up the stairs.), was a Weepy Willie in bed and the next morning got my period. Duh.
Hormones and new babies and toddlers should NOT be mixed. It’s like the opposite of a roofie–you remember everything and still none of its good.
It won’t last forever! Just remember that. It might help you get through the next day or hour or at the very least the next minute.
When I’m going through anxiety/depression, I feel this way too; especially the short temperedness you describe. I feel like I lose my cool SO QUICKLY and sometimes without warning.
I don’t have any answers for you: I’ve tried upping meds, going off meds, and everything in between. But I do know that what you are feeling is common, and among moms especially, normal. I mean, not normal as in: you don’t need to do anything. Just normal as in: dude, so many of us experience this.
Hang in there. Tell us if we can help. Snuffle your baby for me. Farm out your big kid, if you need to. You’ll fall back in love with her someday… it’s ok to just “survive” for awhile!
Hang in there!!! Gosh, hormones just suck sooo muuuuuchhh! I, once again, agree with Swistle. I would tell my husband, and even the older kids, that I knew I was crabby and I was sorry but just know that i can’t seem to help it right now. talking to your dr is a good idea too.
Oh girl. It’s so hard, this part. It’s HORMONES wacked out of control and it’s not sleeping and it’s having a toddler at the same time as having an infant. I hope your doc is good and kind and helpful. I hope it settles down for you soon.
The same EXACT thing happened to me. I was SO SCARY to my girl, I think. I was yelling and out of my mind, truly. For me, it was post partum hormones with a side of sleep deprivation. Even now, if I get a short night or two of sleep, I’m guaranteed at least one temper fit the next day. (Uh. MINE, I’m saying.)
Hang in there, sister. It will get better. It WILL. And before you know it, your boy will be sitting up and CRAWLING ALL OVER THE HOUSE like mine is.
Thinking of you.
xo