Fun Fact Friday!
* Sam has finally gotten his days and nights straight. He’s sleeping three to four hours at night, which is AWESOME compared to the hour and a half I was getting.
* I’m only just mailing Father’s Day cards today. I’m guessing they won’t be there on time.
* I’ve developed a terrible habit: Eating at Night. I barely eat anything during the day. I usually forget to eat breakfast because there’s just so much to do in the morning. I eat lunch after the kids go down for nap and then dinner. Gerald and I usually have fruit before bed, but then I go crazy. Every time I’m up to feed Sam, I have to get something to eat. I feel like I’m up eating more than sleeping. I need to eat more during the day so that I’m not starving all frickin’ night long.
* Maddie is going to spend a week down south with my in-laws. I’m excited for her because she loves spending time with her Nana and Papa and I’m excited to spend some one-on-one time with Sam. I haven’t had any real “alone” time to devote to him since he came home from the hospital.
*I found a new home for our bunny, Baxter. Poor girl isn’t getting the love and attention she deserves. She got knocked all the way down to the bottom of the list when Sam was born. Instead of forcing her to live with it, I found her a wonderful place to go. A farm! No really, she’s going to live on an urban homestead. This isn’t a euphemism for death or anything. There are three other bunnies for her to play with and some homeschooled kids who love animals. Her new family has promised to send email updates and pictures regularly so we’ll know how she’s doing. I feel really good about it. However, there is a moratorium on pets for our family. No matter how cute they are and how much I want them.
Filed under friday facts | Comments (4)Teh Crazy. I haz it.
So, how ’bout a post that’s not about my kids? GAH, could I be anymore boring? (Said in my best Chandler Bing voice, of course.)
Let’s talk about Teh Crazy. I talked to my OB on Monday about how ANGRY I’ve been lately and agreed that something was wonky since I’m on the Z0loft. I’m taking 150 mg and 200 is the max dose (which I did not know until our talk, btw) so naturally he was hesitant to raise it. (Part of the reason I’m on such a high dose is because with gastric bypass I’ve got malabsorption and need more medication to get the same effect as a full lower dose.) Anywho, he decided to add Wellbutr!n to the mix. Apparently the combo mimics Effe*or without the nasty side effects. I’m hoping that I’ll be able to wean off the high dosage of Z0loft with the addition of the WB. The downside is that WB contraindicated for breastfeeding, so no more nursing. I wasn’t nursing a lot, mind you, but I miss it. And my boobs are KILLING me. So, basically I’m crazy and have hurty boobs. It’s like PMS only without the excuse.
(FYI – If I use the actual names of the drugs I get inundated with “buy prescription drugs online!” spam comments.)
Why am I telling you all this? Well, I want any other new moms out there that might be reading to know it’s ok to talk about Teh Crazy with their doctors and that there’s no stigma or shame in getting postpartum depression. It doesn’t make you a failure or a bad mom. It makes you a human who needs a little help. Also, I’m all about the honesty around here and this is a Big Deal for me.
Filed under confessional, happy pills | Comments (7)Today is Gerald’s first day back at work. This means I’m running around the house like a crazy person, trying to figure out what the hell I need to do and in what order they need to be done. This morning, Maddie and Sam both woke up at the same time. She needed a diaper change and “breakquest” and he wanted to be held and fed. And neither one of them was quiet about it, if you catch my drift.
I realized that I need a wife. Or a nanny. Or a time machine to go back about 11 months.
Anywho, I finally got it figured out and no one died. I’m calling it a HUGE success.
Also, look who was a month old yesterday:
Poor little guy is suffering from a wicked nasty case of The Uglies. His scalp is peeling and shedding dandruff all over the place and he’s got one of the worst cases of baby acne I’ve ever seen. I’m supposed to take him up to Gerald’s workplace today so he can be shown off, but I’m embarrassed. I’m all “Hi, please don’t mind my ugly baby. He’s usually SUPER adorable. I promise.” I know that’s retarded, but there you have it. I’m shallow.
Filed under sahm, Sam, where do I come up with this stuff? | Comments (6)Her milkshake brings all the dinos to the yard
Sam’s starting to be a little more like a baby and less like, well, like a blob. He’s staying awake for longer periods of time. Granted, they mostly occur between the hours of 10:30pm and 3:00am, but STILL. He’s cooing and interacting and generally being more fun than, well, a blob.
Maddie still adores him. She wants to feed him and burp him and hold him and hug and kiss him. (“I will hug him and squeeze him and call him George!”) She’s super helpful and loves to put his pacifier back in his mouth for the 8793485734 time in an hour or run to his room and get me yet ANOTHER burp cloth for Spitty McPukesalot.
I managed to take both kids to a playdate with my new mom’s group this morning. It went Very Well and I feel like some kind of Super Mom. We came home, both kids had lunch and now they’re napping. I feel like just maybe I might get the hang of this. (Which we all know is the worst possible thing I could’ve written because now The Universe must smite me for my prideful boast and my life will be a complete shit storm for the next week as punishment.)
And just because it makes me laugh every damn time I see it, here’s a picture of Maddie nursing her dinosaurs. She refuses to play with any of her baby dolls and instead nurtures the hell outta these guys. It’s sweet and twisted all at the same time.
Not coping very well
So, it seems that once again I’m not coping well with the postpartum crap. I really thought it was going to be ok this time, but it’s not. My temper is always right there under the surface. Any tiny infraction on Maddie’s part and I’m all over her. I’m snappy and pissy and generally filled to the brim with “woe is me why do I have to do everything why am I the only responsible person in this house” bullshit. And I do know that it’s bullshit. Gerald’s a HUGE help in addition to working two jobs from home right now. But let him forget to take out the trash and suddenly I’m at DEFCON 1. I know that I’m overreacting and that my emotions are out of sync with reality but the frustrating part is that I can’t seem to do anything about it.
I’m still on the Z0loft, so maybe my dosage needs to be upped for a while? I see my OB on Monday, so I’m going to ask him if he thinks that might help. Or maybe I might need to switch meds? I don’t know if one can get used to an antidepressant and have it lose it’s effectiveness. All I know is that I don’t want to be this mean, self-righteous person anymore.
Filed under confessional, happy pills | Comments (12)Swaddle I do?
Ok, so here’s the sitch: Sam only sleeps when he’s swaddled. That’s fine and dandy. Except for two things: #1 – He’s a little Houdini and wiggles his arms out and then cries until he’s re-swaddled. #2 – Sam gets HOT when he’s swaddled. I woke me him up this morning and his back was drenched with sweat.
I’ve tried one of those specific swaddle blankets in a light cotton. Problem is that Sam is little bitty and it’s wicked easy for him to get his arms out. I’ve also tried a light cotton sleep sack in the hopes that would work. Negatory, good buddy.
That’s the extent of my knowledge. Maddie was born in January, so swaddling and heat was never a problem. Those of you with summer babies, can you offer any advice?
Filed under Sam | Comments (15)Overwhelmed
Sam has entered the official “crying like a mofo” stage. For the first two and a half weeks of his life, he barely cried. He fussed and grumbled, but really only cried during sponge baths. Two days ago, that all changed.
And not for the better.
Now he cries when he’s hungry. And when he’s tired. And when he’s getting a diaper change. And when he’s not being held. Nighttime is the worst. I put him down for bed last night at 9:30 and at 1:30 am I was still trying to calm him down and get him to sleep. The only thing that calms him is to be in the Moby Wrap with a pacifier, and it’s physically impossible for him to be in there 24/7. I mean, I have to poop sometime, right?
Anyhow, I had completely forgotten how much I HATE the newborn cry. It makes my internal organs shrivel up and I get all panicky. I also HATE the feeling of helplessness that overwhelms me when I can’t comfort him.
I seem to spend the majority of my time feeling overwhelmed these days. I spend most of the night dealing with Sam’s issues and then I wake up and it feels like everyone needs me for something. The animals need to be fed. Maddie’s smothering me for attention. Sam needs to be fed again. Today, I didn’t eat “breakfast” until 2:30 in the afternoon. I come in dead last when it comes to time allotments. I know that’s normal for mothers, but DAYUM, you know?
So, that’s how it stands now. I’m overwhelmed. My baby cries. My preschooler is stalking me. My husband is frustrated and grumpy. Feel free to stay far, far away from our house.
Filed under complaining, family | Comments (10)
