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How hard can it be?
May 8th, 2010
Those of you that follow me on twitter undoubtedly saw my frantic posting about being in labor last night. Since I’m not sitting here typing my son’s birth story, you can guess that it was once again The False Labor. The contractions started around 3:00 and by 5:30, they were five minutes apart and pretty intense, lasting about a minute. I thought FOR SURE this was it. I called Gerald, who was still two hours away from home, and advised him not to make any prolonged rest stops. I talked to Donna, who told me to call the doctor. To which I intelligently replied, “But then I’ll have to go to the hospital and it’s 45 whole minutes away and really, I’m too lazy for that.” I called anyway. They told me to drink a big glass of water and lie down. If the contractions were still 5-1-1 in an hour, to come on in to labor and delivery.
So, I got Maddie to bed and laid down. Sure as shit, those bastard contractions started easing up and getting further apart. By the time Gerald made it home, they were just about gone. They picked up again around 11:00 and I had to lie there timing them like a doofus. I finally fell asleep, so they must’ve stopped at some point. (See how I came to that brilliant medical conclusion?)
Anyhow, the thing that gets me is how can I not know when it’s actual labor? I mean, shouldn’t it be obvious? Shouldn’t there be some inner womanly intuition that says “the birth of thy babe is nigh?” (You know, because everyone’s inner womanly intuition speaks King James biblical English.) How hard can it be to tell if one is having a baby or not? I mean, even without obvious signs such as water breaking or a head poking out of your ‘gina, it shouldn’t be that difficult to ascertain. But apparently, I’m a labor idiot.
At least I didn’t haul my ass ALL THE WAY to the hospital for nothing. Not to mention pawning my kid off onto my dad and his wife and starting a panic for the traveling in-laws. That’s something, right?
test Filed under knocked up, where do I come up with this stuff? | Comments (10)10 Responses to “How hard can it be?”
I just love how much this kid is already fucking with you.
Yeah, I had false labor with ALL my kids and it sucked. You will know though, when they keep getting more intense and shitty.
You’re not an idiot. It’s hard to tell sometimes. I labored at home for a fairly long time because I was convinced that it wasn’t labor, but finally had to call. And I sure enough was in active labor.
But maybe in the future BEFORE you freak everyone out, you can try the water and lying down thing, mkay?
I’ve already told how frustrated I was when I experienced this kind of thing- nearly nightly- with both of my pregnancies. The thing to remember is that your body IS getting ready to birth your baby, and those contractions- though annoying AND not going to bring you your baby THIS TIME- *are* actually doing things to help your body prepare.
They call it “false” labor, but that’s not really accurate. These early contractions are important and ARE helping your body prepare, I promise! I would say that it’s more accurate to say that you are in “early labor”… and that phase can last days/weeks for some of us!
Hang in there, and just keep trusting your body and your baby that he will come with both body & baby are ready.
(I KNOW- I sound like a hippie… but I really believe this stuff, and hearing and telling myself these kinds of things when I was pregnant helped me.)
Well, a friend of mine is due anyday with her third child and made the hour long drive to the hospital the other night only to have her contractions stop completely as soon as she was on a monitor. I have NO idea how I will know when I’m in labor and when it’s real, regardless of the long list of when to call and when not to call from my doctor. You’re definitely not the first, but hopefully next time is the real thing.
Don’t feel bad! I didn’t realize I was in labor – and I really was! I, like you didn’t want to drive the 45 minutes to the hospital just to be sent home
By the time I was convinced I was actually in labor and got myself to the hospital, I had to be checked in and prepped for surgery at the same time (had to have a c- section, in fact my planned one was scheduled in 4 days time) At least you knew how far your contractions were apart – I had no idea. I just looked at them confusedly and admitted to being able to concentrate on not much else other than driving myself there without getting in a wreck. LOL!! stupid me!! 
I’ve had 2 kids and never once experienced “true labor”, having been induced both times. So, I guess what I’m saying is I wouldn’t know if I was in labor if it bit me in the ass. That was always something that kinda scared the crap out of me. That’s helpful, isn’t it. And what the hell is a glass of water supposed to do? I’d recommend a shot.
It is hard to know. You’re not the only one who thinks so. I knew someone who thought her water broke, and it hadn’t. Actually, I’ve known two people who did that. It’s hard to play the wait and see game.
Thinking of you girlie. xo
I agree with Marie. Some people early labor for weeks, basically, slowly dilating and effacing and contracting and being in MISERY, and then their kid pops out in a matter of a few hours once the real thing kicks in. Or there’s me, who had all that early stuff and then one night, after being convinced all night long that this was IT, got to the hospital and was only one centimeter more than I had been at the doctor’s office. Which took me to five, but still, the contractions ended up tapering off and going to every fifteen minutes once we got to the hospital. I was DONE, though, and after examination everyone assured me that if they broke my water that kid would be outta there pronto, so I agreed. Contractions hurt way more once your water breaks, but for me, it was then OVER in an hour and a half.
Er, so anyways, you know, stuff IS happening, baby moving down, etc. Hopefully you’ll have a quick labor once it happens, or at least once your water breaks!