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Questions I never had until I was a parent:
April 20th, 2010
1. How in the world do Emily Elizabeth’s parents afford to feed Clifford? And who scoops the poop? Also, wouldn’t you be a leeeetle bit pissed if you agree that your kid can get a puppy and suddenly the dog is mutant-freak-big? So big that you had to sell your house and move? I’d have dropped his ass at the local shelter as soon as he out-weighed me.
2. Where the hell are Max and Ruby’s parents? Why isn’t their grandmother more concerned about two young rabbits living alone? Has social services ever been contacted?
3. WTF is Wubbzy, anyway? Also, there are some gender identity issues seeing as Wubbzy is a boy and is voiced by the exact same woman who voices Emily Elizabeth. I mean, she’s not even TRYING to use a different voice, people.
4. Why does the Man in the Yellow Hat treat George like a freakin’ person? He’s a MONKEY. Why hasn’t George gotten pissed and just flung pooh at him? Isn’t it weird that a grown man, who refuses to wear anything but yellow, keeps a monkey like it’s a person? Is is some kind of replacement kid thing? Or are they a couple?
5. Isn’t it about time for Elmo to start using pronouns? I mean, he lives on SESAME STREET, for cry’n out loud! Those people will teach anything to read if it sits still for long enough! Surely SOMEONE there can teach Elmo to use “me, you, he, she and we.”
test Filed under where do I come up with this stuff? | Comments (9)9 Responses to “Questions I never had until I was a parent:”
OK, and why is it that George can learn EVERYONE else’s name, but not his primary care taker?
And why is that man so naive to think that George is going to listen to him when he tells him not to get into trouble?
these are awesome. Also, why do puppets like Elmo and Kermit the Frog and various other cartoon animals often wear shirts but never PANTS? What are the covering up with a shirt? I can’t help but feel like they’re exposed down there…and wouldn;t they want to cover up the fact that there’s a hand up their ass?
SO true!
Why does the Man with the Yellow Hat have a city apartment and a country home? What does he do? I believe I’ve seen him help at the dinosaur museum and also as an astronaut. Really?
I predict Ruby will have tats and be knocked up in the next few years.
Why does Baby Bear have to talk like that? Holy jeezus, shut that bear up!!
I think everyone on Wubzy has gender issues.
That is the very reason that I can’t handle Wubbzy, I’m so thrown off by Emily Elizabeth’s voice.
Also, did you know that they bring Clifford’s food in on the ferry EVERY SINGLE DAY? Like it wouldn’t get annoying hauling that from the docks DAILY? Are you freaking kidding me?
HAHAHA I’ve thought the same thing about Max and Ruby. This was before I had a baby, but had a niece that loved them. And why is Ruby so mean to Max?
Erica, I love you!
I have had many of these same questions. I totally agree with #1 and 2. I can’t stand Max and Ruby –she’s a total control freak and he’s a brat who ultimately winds up right. What kind of message does THAT send? True story with regards to Clifford–I was pregnant with DD#2 and we were talking about names. Always loved Elizabeth and we came up with Emily Elizabeth as a serious option. DD#1 wasn’t watching Clifford much anymore, but it took me weeks to realize why that name was familiar!
Why has Sesame Street been on for 40 years yet it is always the same damn episodes that air?
And useless knowledge for you: Clifford was voiced by John Ritter, Handy Manny is Wilmer Valderrama (that 70s show), George Carlin narrated Thomas the Train, and Rosie Perez (White Men Can’t Jump and Untamed Heart) is the voice of Click the camera on Go Diego Go. I now must hide.
I am also almost certain that the bunny on Wubzy has the exact same voice as the squirrel on SpongeBob.
Yes to all of these. I’ve noticed that parents/caregivers are almost always on the utter fringes, if not completely absent, from kids’ lives in cartoons and childrens’ books. I think it’s just what kids enjoy, that feeling of freedom and independence, so that’s what people write for them. Parents are there to make sure they eat their meals and zip their coats and such, but otherwise it’s just a pack of kids running around, educating themselves about the world.