Passionista

Hypothetically speaking, electrical storms are going to wipe out the Internet (perhaps forever). You have one day left to write about your passions: what do you want to say to the blogosphere in 300 words or less?

When I became a wife I didn’t stop being Erica and become Gerald’s Wife. I became Erica, Gerald’s Wife. While I’m an equal partner in my relationship, I am still my own person. I have friends outside of my marriage. I travel without my husband. This doesn’t take anything away from my marriage. As a matter of fact, it enhances it in that I’m not relying on my husband to be my sole source of comfort, entertainment and friendship.

However, becoming a mother was a whole different ballgame. I went from Erica, Gerald’s wife straight to Maddie’s Mom. I found it so easy to fall into that role and willingly give up autonomy. While a certain amount of loss of “freedom” is required when one has children, one doesn’t need to lose one’s sense of self.

I’m not saying it’s easy to do, because it’s not. But I’m worth the effort. I’m worth having a fulfilling career. I’m worth sacrificing things in order to stay home with my child. I’m worth pedicures. I’m worth a movie or shopping with a friend. I’m worth a trip to New York to spend a weekend talking about my blog. We are worth so much more than we allow ourselves to have. We’re worth it all WITHOUT GUILT.

I wholeheartedly believe that taking time for ourselves in whatever endeavor we choose is critically important in maintaining sanity. We’re better wives and mothers when we don’t feel smothered by those roles. Do something for yourself regularly. I’m not talking getting your hair cut twice a year. Or not sharing your Ben and Jerry’s with your kids. I’m talking something that’s just for you that makes you feel alive. Start running. Start dancing. Start writing. Start taking classes. Start traveling. Start working. Start something BIG.

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