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Threshold
February 23rd, 2010
I’m pretty sure I’ve reached the limit of the amount of douchebaggery I can tolerate from my kid. Lately, EVERY damn THING is a battle of wills. I always win because I’m good at picking my battles and I never relent, but at what cost? Maddie and I seem to spend the majority of our time together being at odds. I miss playing and having fun with her. Oh sure, we start out that way, but inevitably she needs to push boundaries and shit goes downhill FAST. Gerald and I simply will not tolerate bratty behavior. We refuse to have one of those kids. I believe with all my heart that we’re doing what’s best for Maddie and raising her to be a respectful, polite and honest person but DAYUM! It’s not easy. (Please don’t get your knickers in a twist over this. Yes, we are firm and somewhat strict with Maddie. We are in no way abusive or mean to her. Unless you count forcing her to have clean hair, go to bed at a decent hour and live on something other than chocolate milk and M&Ms. Which she, of course, considers abuse of the most heinous nature.)
I know this is all normal, healthy development, but oh the absolute suckage that is the age of three. I miss my sweet, non-hellbeast of a daughter. I’m positive she misses her patient and kind mama, too.
I’ll just keep reminding myself that this is just a phase and like every other sucky-ass phase we’ve been through (not sleeping, screaming, not eating, teething, etc…) it will end and we’ll be better of for having gone through it. Maybe if I say it enough, I’ll start to believe it.
test Filed under complaining, maddie | Comments (12)12 Responses to “Threshold”
The hubby likes to remind me that this will last until they are 30. I do miss having just one very mobile child and for a week my 4-year-old was pleasant but now he is back to silly business and such so I will continue to ignore such and take away the TV time too. Sigh!
I think your daughter is a little bit younger than mine? Because yes, mine passed through the nexus of rottenness after she turned 3. She is, alas, still 3 but the cute and rewarding Emily is starting to come out again. For a while there it was a CONSTANT battle. Tantrums and discipline for every dang thing. I felt I could not survive, and yet I did, and thankfully, it only lasts a little while. Hopefully for you. My sympathies.
I always said 3 was evil. Two was no problem but 3… a nightmare. Luckily, 4 is good.
Maybe reading this will help put things into perspective: http://laylagrace.org/
Ah, 3. We are there too. Yes. *sigh*
You might not believe it yet, but I absolutely do. The pain now will ABSOLUTELY pay off later.
Though I know it does little for you now….youholding steadfast to this WILL pay off. I have an almost 9 year old, and my friends for the first 3+ years of my boy’s life used to gripe at me constantly for being “too hard” on him. I am exactly like you—I do NOT tolerate bratty behavior, and do NOT tolerate disrespectful behavior in any form or fashion. As such, life was a living hell the first few years because all I seemed to do was discipline. As he’s gotten older I am happy to say SO FAR he knows that I do not give false warnings, I do NOT beg and nag at him to get things done. Because I have been a mom of her word, and do not give idle threats, he knows that I mean what I say. I am hoping this is good groundwork for the preteen years coming.
It’s better to deal with the terror behavior now at 3 than at 13 when it might be too late.
I also believe that the Love and Logic parenting series saved me. It taught me to remove my emotions from disciplining my child, and put it ALLLLLL back in his lap. I started it around 3, and he knows beyond a shadow of a doubt there are good and bad consequences to everything, and it’s HIS CHOICE (choices set by me.) By me staying calm, it makes life more bearable. It took ALOT of practice, but we got there. Highly recommend it.
Best of luck, will keep you in thoughts and prayer…
I was going to comment, but I got stuck. Did you see what Heidi said up there? Did she really say 4 is good? Hallelujah there is hope! Zachariah turns 4 next week.
OK, back to you. I feel you, I do. We have the same issues. Sometimes it’s good, but when it’s bad it’s really bad. And we don’t tolerate it either. What makes me most batty is when I get dirty looks when I’m in the midst of dealing with a problem from parents whose child is behaving lovely… like they always are. I just want to say to them “Look, I think it’s great that you have a mild child, but I’d like to see you try to deal with a strong-willed, bull-headed one for a day, then we’ll talk.”
I am chiming in on the “3 sucks ass” team as well. Three was the worst year for behavioral problems, and we were at odds pretty much all the time. I will say though, sounds like you are doing the right thing! Stick to your guns and keep those boundaries up, and it will get better!!
I just keep telling myself that being a parent is easy unless you give a crap – and then it is the HARDEST job in the world! Good luck!!
Lalalalalala. I’m sticking my fingers in my ears and not listening to this because two and a half is no picnic either. The next time someone tells me he’s “just doing his job,” I’m going to punch them in the nose.
“Terrible” should have applied to 3′s instead of 2′s. 3 was definitely full of tantrums-especially when our son was born (21 mos. apart). Looking back on that time I only have wonderful memories. They only get cuter…until you enter the teenage years of HELL. You think 3 is bad…just wait…I adore my kids, but every single gray hair on my head came with the age of 13. Mama Mia. It will get better! Promise!
Don’t forget, she IS 1/2 Daddy G.
Our family is known for stubborness and fits.