Chastised
As I was leaving work yesterday, another member of my team was teasing me (good-naturedly) about being stupid. I jokingly, and sotto voce, called her a jackass. No big deal, right?
Wrong.
Today, my boss called me into a conference room to chastise me for it. Item The First: There is absolutely NO PROFANITY tolerated in the workplace. Yes, “jackass” counts as profanity. Item The Second: Calling someone a jackass is “name-calling” and could be an HR issue, should anyone want to pursue it. This serves as my “off the record” warning.
Lessons learned: It’s ok to call a coworker stupid, as that is not technically “a name” nor is it swearing. Also, apparently, I’m 8 years old again.
Filed under complaining, Workplace | Comments (15)Unfortunate
Instead of regaling you with my tale of The Terrible Week (hint: premature labor scare! norovirus! broken bones!) here at the Dressed Up Homestead in a blatant attempt to garner your pity, I shall instead talk about pregnancy/babies. Because who doesn’t love babies?
Communists. That’s who.
There are several “unfortunate” developments in my pregnancy. I’ve reached 22 weeks and have begun to waddle. Seriously, I waddled today. I’ve also got that sway-back action going on. I end up with a sore back every evening because I spend the day over compensating for the weight of my son’s giant penis my womb.
Also, my belly button is no longer an innie. Well, it’s still an innie, but it’s got a serious case of bloat. It’s almost a flatty. Since I was so overweight when I was pregnant with Maddie, my belly button never popped or even got to be a flatty. I thought I’d be thrilled with getting to experience something I consider to be a normal part of pregnancy this go ’round… instead, I feel like a turkey that’s about to be fully cooked. POP!
In other tragic news, I’ve got cankles at the end of every work day. Despite my constant water/decaf iced tea consumption and 50 trips to the bathroom, that is. My feet nearly burst out of my pink ballet flats today. Not exactly the look I was going for this morning when I got dressed. Good thing my office is casual and I don’t have to worry about wearing dress shoes all the time.
The Boy is in perfect condition, btw. A surprise in-depth sonogram last week showed him to be on track and chugging full speed ahead. He weighed 14 ounces and was all formed with no evidence of defects at all. He’s also Very Active like his sister was. He was actually so active today that it was distracting as I tried to work. I swear to gawd he’s doing scenes from A Chorus Line in there. Maddie’s activity level in utero was definitely indicative of her personality, (read: she’s a hyper spaz) so I hold little hope that The Boy will be calm and mellow. I’m pretty much figuring that I’ll spend most of my time chasing them around and wondering why the hell I ever thought having one kid was a good idea, much less two.
But oh, he’s so adorable. I got to see his little face in the sonogram and he looks like a baby now. Not some amorphous blob or alien being. He’s got a little nose and little cheeks and little fingers and toes. I cannot wait to meet him and introduce him to The Best Big Sister EVAR.
Filed under knocked up, where do I come up with this stuff? | Comments (7)Bright Spots
I’m spending tomorrow evening with a wonderful woman with whom I spend far too little time. The icing on the cake (or death!) is that we’re seeing Eddie Izzard in concert. I absolutely adore Eddie and honestly never thought I’d get a chance to see him in person in my lifetime. To say that it’s going to be a FABULOUS time is the understatement of the decade.
And as if that weren’t enough, in less than a month I’m meeting Donna, Shelly and Becky in Las Vegas! Can you believe it??!! Although, my first trip to Vegas with three known alcoholics social drinkers while being knocked up isn’t the best timing in the world, but soon I’ll be slaving after two kids and when will I get another chance?
I’m having a hard time adjusting to working full-time again and adjusting to Maddie having a hard time going to daycare and these two bright spots are really helping me maintain a positive attitude. Life sure is better with some BFFs!
Filed under daily, where do I come up with this stuff? | Comments (4)Three
Three years ago today, I became a mother for the very first time.
Three years ago today, I was terrified and excited and really hungry.
Three years ago today, I had no idea that I would be able to love another human being as much as love Maddie.
Three years ago today, I had the most painful experience of my entire life.
Three years ago today, I was changed irrevocably.
Three years ago today, I had never been pooped on.
Three years ago today, I had never been barfed on.
Three years ago today, I had no idea how much my patience would be tested.
Three years ago today, I had no idea that the tiny baby in my arms would one day make me laugh and cry and scream and dance.
Three years ago today, I met the girl who would become my favorite girl in the whole, wide world.
Three years ago today, my gorgeous, glorious, crazy Madeleine was born.
Happy birthday, Maddie. I love you so much and I’m so glad you chose me to be your mama.
Filed under maddie | Comments (9)Troublesome
Since I’ve been back at work, there’s been some significant changes in Maddie’s behavior. First, she’s much more involved with her dad. Previously, when it was just me and Maddie for 80% of the day, she was very much a mama’s girl. To the point of excluding Gerald and hurting his feelings. Now that I only have two hours a day with her, she’s all about her dad. While this hurts like a knife in the chest, I realize that it’s a great thing and I’m very happy that she and Gerald are getting closer.
However, the other change in her behavior is troublesome, to say the least. When I get home from work she starts acting out. She’s suddenly this terrible brat who bosses me around, talks in a hurtful tone, blatantly disregards rules and things I ask her to do. She’s an A-1 douchebag, people. She’s the kind of kid that used to make me say I’m NEVER having kids. And she’s never been like this before. Sure, she’s had trouble being a good listener, but nothing like this.
Gerald picks her up from daycare at 2:00 and I get home around 5:00. For those three hours with her dad she’s her normal, charming self. I get home and BAM! Instant bratzilla. So, I spend my two precious hours with her fussing and giving time-outs and threatening heinie spankings. All she gets from me is anger and frustration and all I get from her is defiance and bad behavior. What gives? Is she acting out because she’s upset in the change in our normal routine? Is she picking up these behaviors from other kids and testing them out on me? Or, is it because I allow it, as Gerald is apt to believe? He thinks if I crack down on the behavior for a few days that she’ll stop. But it breaks my heart to spend all my time with her being a disciplinarian. I miss her snuggling with me to watch a little TV before bed. I miss her wanting to play with me. I miss liking her.
Have any of you ever dealt with this? Can you shed some light? Offer some assvice? Send me chocolate? Anything at all?
Filed under maddie, two is the new Hell | Comments (18)The words “cute” and “little” were used in a sentence about ME.
Today at work, an unknown coworker stopped me in the hallway and proclaimed that I was “so cute with my little round belly!” and wanted to know when I was due.
I wanted to hug and kiss her for 1. knowing I was pregnant and not just chunky and 2. calling me cute and my belly little.
When I was pregnant with Maddie, I never heard anything like that. Let’s call a spade a spade… I wasn’t cute and my belly wasn’t little. But that’s ok. I have the awesome experience of having to vastly different pregnancies. Not a whole lot of women can say that, right? Last time I couldn’t find maternity clothes big enough. This time, I’m wearing size small maternity clothes. Last time, I was so fat that Gerald couldn’t feel Maddie kicking. This time he’ll be able to with no problem once the Little Man is strong enough to be felt by anyone other than me.
I know that other pregnant women out there HATE when someone comments on or even rubs their belly, but I’m just eating it up with a spoon. I feel so great about myself! (Except for the face full of zits I’m currently rocking thanks to over zealous exfoliating and moisturizing. What’s the deal with pregnancy sucking all the moisture out of your body? I’m constantly flaking and itchy no matter how much lotion I use. GAH!)
Also, I’m only a few days away from being halfway through this pregnancy. How in the hell is time going by so fast this go ’round??? I guess not being confined to my bed helps, right?
Filed under knocked up, O: SP, where do I come up with this stuff? | Comments (12)Resolve
All right, I know I said I don’t make New Year’s Resolutions, but everyone else is doing it and suddenly I’m all “HEY! I should make some resolutions, too!” I’m nothing if not a follower. Peer pressure. It’s what’s for dinner.
But, I digress. Let’s get to the resolutions, shall we?
1. I resolve to be less completely addicted to interested in social media. I don’t need to check Twitter from my phone at work every half an hour. I don’t need to update my facebook status a few times a week. I don’t need to read your blog posts AS SOON as you hit “publish.” I’ve been using my laptop as an escape and I want to be involved in the here and now with my family. I seem to have a raging case of the “grass is greener” syndrome.
Example: EVERYTHING will be better once I start working full time and I’m not stuck in the house with a three year old all day, every day.
Oh wait, I don’t like this working full-time stuff. I bet things would be much better if I just stayed home.
2. I resolve to be less selfish. It has occurred to be that I am extraordinarily selfish. I think of myself first in almost every situation. I get put-out if I’m not able to do what I want to do because of Maddie or Gerald. I get pissed if things aren’t done exactly when and exactly the way I want them to be done. I am not the center of the universe and everyone else doesn’t exist just to please me and make my life easier.
3. I resolve to stop raising my voice so much to Maddie and to simply remove her from the situation that’s causing the reprimand. More matter-of-fact time-outs and less yelling to “stop it, already!”
There are some other little things I’d like to work on improving, but these three are BIG DEALS and I want to concentrate on them for now. How about you? Are you resolving anything? If you’ve posted about it, please leave me a link in comments. I want to read them.
Filed under confessional, daily | Comments (6)
