Auld Acquaintence

This is the forth year that I’ve done the New Year’s Meme. That’s gotta be some kind of consistency record for me. Anyhow, let’s get this show on the road because I’ve got pizza waiting to be eaten and movies waiting to be watched. And I’m planning on being in bed before midnight. Don’t judge me. I’m effing tired, yo.

1. What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before?

Met some of the most fabulous women EVAR at BlogHer. (I’m looking at you and you and you and you.) Changed careers. Twice. Got pregnant with a son.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I don’t make them, consequently, it’s wicked easy to keep them. That being said, I do try to make self-improvements whenever I’m aware that they need to be made.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Several internet friends did.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

No.

5. What countries did you visit?

Just the good old US of A.

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?

More money, less stress, more patience, less temper.

7. What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

July for BlogHer and my new tattoo and December 14th for finding out that we’re having a son.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Being brave enough to change careers. Twice.

9. What was your biggest failure?

This answer is the same as it’s been for the last couple of years: I’ve failed to be as patient and loving a mother and wife as I ought to have been.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

No big injuries. Just miscellaneous colds and viruses and whatnot.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

A plane ticket to Chicago.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Everyone that tried to make this world a better place for the rest of us.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

Jon and Kate. Tiger Woods. Chris Brown. The Balloon Boy people. Kayne West.

14. Where did most of your money go?

Shit. If you could tell me, I’d appreciate it.

15. What did you get really excited about?

New jobs, BlogHer, getting pregnant and a hundred other things. I’m easily excited, what can I say?

16. What song will always remind you of 2009?

Poker Face by Lady GaGa.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

– happier or sadder? Happier
– thinner or fatter? Thinner with more of a pronounced belleh.
– richer or poorer? Way poorer.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Enjoying where I was instead of wishing to be elsewhere.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Wishing to be elsewhere.

20. How did you spend Christmas?

At the in-laws down south.

21. Did you fall in love in 2009?

Is it too cheesy to answer that I fell in love with the son growing in my belleh?

22. What was your favorite TV program?

Eureka

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

I don’t hate anyone.

24. What was the best book you read?

Let me just tell you that I’ve ready approximately 115 books this year. There isn’t one in particular that stands out.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?

I’m so embarrassed to answer this one, but here goes: Jay-Z. I am completely obsessed with his discography right now.

26. What did you want and get?

Pregnant, two jobs, to go to BlogHer, a lot of blueberry Poptarts.

27. What did you want and not get?

A trip to Vegas, a second daughter (thank goodness for that!), a million other pieces of junk I didn’t need.

28. What was your favorite film of this year?

Tie between The Hangover and District 9.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I went to San Marcos with my friend, Rachel, to shop and spend the night away from home. I turned 33.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

A paycheck.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?

Oh dear jebus, do yoga pants and t-shirts count as a “concept?” Basically, I ensured I was fully clothed when I left the house. The End.

32. What kept you sane?

Z0loft, my husband, my daughter’s laugh, alcohol, my gorgeous friends.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Robert Downey, Jr. MROW!

34. What political issue stirred you the most?

I’m so unbelievably politically ignorant. It’s tragic, really. Healthcare is a huge concern for me, though.

35. Who did you miss?

My mother.

36. Who was the best new person you met?

Shelly and Donna!

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009.

Be careful what you wish for because you just might get it.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

You can’t always get what you want, but sometimes, you just might get what you need.

Filed under meme | Comments (5)

What am I? Some sort of Super Man or something?

Oh. Em. Gee. What the H-E-Double Hockey Sticks was I thinking with this whole “working full-time” bullshit? Let me give you a detailed list of all the ways this sucks:

1. I haven’t worked full-time in more than three years. I’m not used to being away from home so many hours a week. My ass is not accustomed to sitting in a hard office chair for so many hours a day. (Especially without all the ass-padding it used to have!) I’m not used to having to use an alarm to wake up at ungodly o’clock. With being pregnant, so sleep is sketchy at best which makes the aforementioned ungodly o’clock rising even harder to take.

2. I’m supposed to be gone from home for 50 hours a week and still run this joint? How in the world am I supposed to find time to clean and launder and grocery shop and cook dinner in addition to spending Quality Time with my kid? It’s IMPOSSIBLE, I tells ya. IMPOSSIBLE. I get home from work and devote Maddie’s pre-bedtime hours to dinner and playing and snuggling. Then, when she goes to bed I try to get my shit done. By the time that’s all finished, it’s time for me to drag my tired ass to bed. (I’ve never worked full-time with a kid, btw. Once she was born, I went back on a part-time basis.)

God, I’m saying all this like I’m the only person in the history of ever that’s had to balance work/home/family. NONE of you has EVER done this herculean task! And I’ve been working for all of THREE DAYS and am pissed because I haven’t found the perfect routine. Because certainly, three days is plenty of time to adjust to a major life change. If you’ve stopped reading because of my blatant douchebaggery, I completely understand. Hell, I’d quit reading, too.

BUT!

My job is great. I like what I do. Well, I like what I think I’m supposed to do. I’m probably doing it all wrong. The people I work for and with seem nice and laid-back. I talked to my supervisor about Situation Knocked Up today and she took it really well. She didn’t seem upset or like she thought I was a douchebag for not disclosing the info in the interview. I like being around adults again and not spending all day dealing with a tiny, sometimes evil, dictator. I’m enjoying actually missing Maddie instead of wishing I was anywhere else but home with her.

Also, there will be MONEY soon. An actual, real live paycheck that represents all the hard work I’ve done. And I won’t be poor! Ok, well I’ll still be poor, according to my money managing husband, but STILL.

Filed under complaining, where do I come up with this stuff?, Workplace | Comments (6)

Everyone else is doing it

Eggnog or hot chocolate? Historically, both. However, since my bypass I’m lactose intolerant. I don’t really have either one anymore.

Does Santa wrap the presents or leave them open under the tree? Both. In my family, Santa presents were wrapped. In Gerald’s family, they weren’t. Since we both felt like our way was “the right way,” we compromised and wrapped some and won’t wrap the large/oddly shaped ones.

Colored lights on a tree or white? White. Never colored and never flashing.

Do you hang mistletoe? Nope.

When do you put your decorations up? We don’t have a set time. I’m not one of those day-after-Thanksgiving folks, though. We usually put up our stuff the first or second week in December. Growing up, we put up and decorated our tree on Christmas Eve.

What is your favorite holiday dish? Growing up, my mom used to make these fabulous mashed potatoes with cream cheese and ranch seasoning in them. Those were favorite. Nowadays, we don’t have specific “traditional” dishes at Christmas, so I don’t have a favorite.

Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? When we’re with Gerald’s family, we open presents on Christmas Eve. When were with mine, we open stockings on Christmas Eve and presents Christmas morning.

How do you decorate your Christmas tree? We have a hodgepodge of Gerald’s and my childhood ornaments, ornaments we’ve been given as gifts and ornaments that Maddie’s made. There’s no theme, color scheme or plan. It’s awesome.

Snow: love it or hate it? Love it. Here in Texas, we seldom get snow and get ice storms instead.

Can you ice skate? In theory, I guess. I used to skate (badly) all the time, but it’s been about 20 years.

What is your favorite holiday dessert? Fudge.

What is your favorite holiday tradition? Since 1992, whenever my parents and I were together for Christmas, we went to the movies on Christmas day. This year, Gerald and I are going together and when our kids are old enough, they’ll come, too.

Candy canes: yum or yuck? Yum.

Favorite Christmas show? National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. I love me some Clark Griswold.

Filed under meme | Comments (3)

Christmas Shenanigans

We celebrated Christmas with my dad and his wife and their family last night. Before we left, we had an impromptu photo session:

Here’s our “pretty” pose. Nice smile, Maddie. Really sincere.

RAWR!

Check out our muscles!

Obligatory belly shot.

My two favorite people in the whole world.

RAWR!

More muscles.

Favorite present EVAR.

Filed under family, husband, maddie, photos | Comments (8)

Play along with me, won’t you?

1. If money was no object and you could ask for one gift for Christmas/Hanukkah, what would you ask for?

2. If money was no object and you could give one gift for Christmas/Hanukkah, to whom would you give it and what would it be?

*Edited to add my answers*

1. I would ask for a new, MUCH LARGER house located MUCH CLOSER to Gerald’s family.

2. I would give Gerald all the plastic surgery he wants after he reaches his goal weight.

Filed under daily, where do I come up with this stuff? | Comments (14)

Things that suck about being pregnant: A list

* Permanent congestion
* Heartburn
* Only being able to sleep on your side(s)
* Daily headaches and only being able to take Tylenol for pain relief
* Fatigue
* Cravings for obscure food items that you don’t possess in your house
* Waddling
* Moodiness (Granted, this sucks more for the family members of the pregnant woman, but still.)
* Round ligament pain
* Maternity pants – Every pair ever made.
* Sore boobs and constantly erect nipples.
* Gas
* Discharge

* And the worst one is heightened desire. Because the above list is bound to make you incredibly sexy to your partner, right? “Hey babe, wanna get bizz-ay? Just let me blow my nose for the 12th time this hour, burp and yell at you for breathing too loud. Then we can get it on.”

Filed under complaining, knocked up, where do I come up with this stuff? | Comments (15)

Baby Names, Revisited

Now that we’re 100% sure that I’m gestating a Little Man, let’s go back to the name discussion, shall we?

Gerald and I have talked since my name post and came up with this list of possibilities:
Dexter – Dex
Declan
Malcolm – Mal
Oliver – Olly
Samuel – Sam
Xavier
Angus – Gus
Ronan/Rowan
Phineaus – Fin

You’ll notice that my personal favorite, Theodore, is no longer a contender. This is because my husband hates me the name. However, he’s decided that Malcolm isn’t so bad after all, so bonus there. I went through the Baby Name Wizard book and website and came up with a list of names I liked. I then ran them by Gerald and the remaining names are the ones we both agree should be on the list.

So, my faithful and opinionated readers, what say you? Now listen, if you hate our choices like poison, it’s cool to say so. Just don’t go talking shit about our mamas and we’ll be fine. Oh, and don’t forget the rest of the kid’s name will be … Gerald Henderson.

Discuss.

Filed under knocked up | Comments (28)

BALLS!

Well, it’s official. There’s a penis in mah belly It’s a boy! And according to the sonogram tech, the weenis is “good sized.” Apparently, when my husband makes a boy, he makes A BOY.

I’m terrified. I have no idea how to work boys. Well, I do, obviously, but not like in a motherly way. Boys are the biggest mystery in the universe! I’ve never understood a single boy in my life! How am I supposed to raise one? Also, I sort of went nuts buying Teh Pink when I was pregnant with Maddie. This means that either our kid will be quite effeminate or tough as hell.

The upside is that I won’t have two teenage daughters at some point. However, now I have to worry about one kid getting knocked up and the other doing the knocking up.

According to measurements, Little Man is due May 31st. I’m still holding out for June 1st or 2nd. I think it’d be neat for him to share a birthday with his dad or my mom.

Filed under knocked up | Comments (26)

The best cookies you will ever eat

Seeing as Gerald and I are both post-op gastric bypass patients, I don’t do any holiday baking anymore. However, that doesn’t mean that I don’t want YOU to bake. And if you’re going to bake, well, it had better be worth all the hassle, right? Right! So, my friends, I’m going to share with you the recipe for my favorite cookies EVAR. Seriously, every time I make these for a function, people moan in delight at the first taste and beg me for the recipe. Even if you’re not a great baker (I certainly am not!) these are pretty hard to screw up.

Peanut Butter Caramel Surprise Cookies

Start with your favorite peanut butter cookie recipe. BUT! They MUST be chewy. Crispy cookies have their place, but this ain’t it.
Here’s my recipe:

• 2-¼ cups All Purpose Flour
• ½ teaspoons Baking Soda
• ¼ teaspoons Salt
• 1-¼ cup Packed Brown Sugar
• 1-¼ cup Sugar
• 1 cup Butter, Softened
• 1-½ cup Creamy Peanut Butter
• 2 teaspoons Vanilla
• 3 Eggs

Preheat oven to 300 F. Yes, it’s really only 300.

Whisk flour, baking soda, and salt in a medium bowl.

In a large mixing bowl, mix sugars on medium with your stand or hand mixer.

Add butter and mix until incorporated.

Add peanut butter and vanilla and mix until incorporated.

Beat in eggs ONE AT A TIME. Once all eggs are incorporated, mix till fluffy.

Add flour mixture on low speed till just mixed. Don’t over mix or you’ll make gluten and hard cookies!

Chill for half an hour in the fridge. Yes, this really does make a difference.

Drop onto an ungreased cookie sheet. With a wet fork, make a crisscross pattern on each cookie.

Bake for 15 minutes (my oven cooks low, so I have to cook for closer to 20 minutes) or until SLIGHT browning occurs on the edges. DO NOT OVER BAKE or chewiness will be gone.

Cool for one minute, then remove to a cooling rack or some wax paper on your counter.

Makes approximately 5 dozen good-sized cookies. If you don’t want to bake this many right away, the dough freezes wonderfully. Just wrap in cling wrap and drop into a zip-top freezer bag.

Now, to make Peanut Butter Caramel Surprise Cookies, you follow the above recipe until you get to the part about dropping the dough onto the cookie sheet and making the crisscrosses with forks. In addition to the above ingredients, you’ll need a bag of Rolo candies. See where I’m going with this? Anyhow, unwrap as many Rolos as you need to make the cookies, plus 5 or so extra because you know you’re going to eat them. Then, grab a good tablespoon full of cookie dough and form it into a ball around the Rolo. The Rolo should be completely encased inside the cookie dough. Drop it on the cookie sheet and bake as directed. If the planets align and you’ve done everything right, the melted Rolo will fill the inside of the cookie without oozing out. Then the unsuspecting victim thinks they’re getting a non-descript peanut butter cookie, but BAM! Chocolately caramel goodness outta nowhere!

Filed under recipes | Comments (7)

I really want a pop tart.

Look, Imma be up front and tell you that I got nothin’. I’m posting because it’s been a while and I feel guilty. Feel free to read out of pity or boredom, but if you’re looking for quality writing, might I suggest this or this?

I’ve been sick with strep throat, a cold and a stomach virus for the past week. Being pregnant really limits the drugs I’m allowed to take. Lemme tell you, Tylenol does JACK SHIT against some real pain. I’m finally starting to feel better, but DAYUM! I’m all kinds of crabby. I still haven’t been officially offered the job I was expecting to get, we’re still broke and it’s still Christmas. I’ve been too sick and it’s been too cold for Maddie and I to play outside. We’re stuck in the house together, feeding off each other’s crabbiness until one of us ends up in tears. It’s an effing laugh riot around here.

In the spirit of trying to look on the bright side, Monday is the big gender reveal sonogram! Thanks to all of your comments, Gerald and I have a nice, solid list of boys’ names to choose from should we see a wee little wiener on the screen.

Maddie and I are going to make fancy schmancy chocolate covered pretzels to give as gifts to her MDO teachers and our family members. She’s also made some Christmas ornaments for everyone, so that ought to go over well. We don’t have a lot of money to spend this year, but we’re giving our time and our love and isn’t that what Christmas is really about? Look at me, all Linus in the Charlie Brown Christmas special.

Filed under complaining, daily, knocked up | Comments (3)