Comments on: I need a plan. Or drugs. Possibly both.

By: Rachael

Rachael — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 19:19:33 +0000

Pineapple is nowhere near 3 yet – but she can be a TOTAL pain in the ass! She’s grumpy and has all of these emotions and outbursts that I have not approved and do not approve of! Darned imperfect toddler…grumble. And I too feel guilty when I’m not ‘perfectly parenting’ my child. But seriously, sometimes I just have to walk away. It’s for the best for everyone concerned. Good luck – I feel ya!

Also – when I was on maternity leave with Pineapple, there was a group of ladies that would get together each morning at a local outdoor mall and just stroll/walk with each other and their kids/babies. They would wind down afterward at the coffee shop…and I thought this was brilliant. The kids get to play – the parents get to talk (with OTHER grownups for.the.love.) and they share tips and ideas. It’s genius. If you don’t have one of these locally, I bet with all your blog superpowers, you could create one. ; ) It’s just an idea!

Wishing you well!

By: Penny

Penny — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 23:34:11 +0000

I remember being blind-sided by the grouchiness during second pregnancy. And I was working, I can’t even imagine dealing with a 3yo all day.

I would not, perhaps, make decisions about whether you are cut out to SAH based on your current state of being, because man. the bitchiness. It does recede after pregnancy is gone, although I will warn you too that your patience level in general goes down a notch when there are 2 kids needing you all the time. At least, that’s my experience. I’m looking forward to the day when they can entertain each other, although I know that’s another year or two away.

I think your instincts are right, as others have already said, about creating more space for yourself. If you can’t work then make a lot of playdates – preferably with women you like and can hold a conversation with while your daughter plays on her own. If you don’t know any women like that, join some sort of thing that does not involve you chaperoning your daughter’s every move (Gymboree = bad, for example).

By: Shelly

Shelly — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 16:27:36 +0000

I can offer empathy. Staying at home with kids was not what I was cut out for. I did it for a year and was not happy. So we re-thought our plan and now my hubby stays at home and I work. This fits his temperment and works out for our finances, so it wound up being a win-win. For us, which is not to say that it would be a win for anyone else. Alls I’m saying is that staying home with a kid or kids is hard, yo. I have been there, and every single person who does it has my total respect. And empathy.

By: Jess

Jess — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 03:34:28 +0000

I think you need to focus on yourself a little bit here. I mean, your kid is loved, coddled, and well cared for. You’re pregnant and she’s difficult. You have to do what you have to do for yourself and it’s OK that you’re not being some sort of fantasy earth mother at every moment. In fact, there’s more and more research saying that it’s best for kids to be left alone a lot, given more time and space to play and learn to be creative and entertain themselves. So, really you’re doing both her and yourself a favor.

By: Jodi

Jodi — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 16:40:13 +0000

Get out of the house! That was the biggest cure for both me and my kids. Go to the park, walk around the mall, go shopping (window if you have no money), go have an ice cream cone, sign up for a pre-preschool group, etc.

I always felt better when I left the house when I was having a day like that. Even putting a kid in a stroller and going for a walk made my day easier and better.

By: Icy @ Individual Chic

Icy @ Individual Chic — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 03:15:20 +0000

I’m yet to be in the 1 kid plus 1 on the way, but I can say that MissIcy (who is nearly 2) goes to day care 2 days a week while I work 2 days a week and this is GREAT! I love looking after her, and I love work as well. I know I’m not cut out to be at home full time.

By: Meg

Meg — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 02:04:39 +0000

Well, age 4 doesn’t change much, but what I will tell you is to get your Mommy and Maddie time in now. The first day for us has gone well but I am dealing with a profound sense of loss for my little boy and me that I was not prepared for at all. May in part be the low amount of sleep time which I’m going to go try to remedy now but seriously, though I had those same days and I’m definitely not trading in my baby girl either, I’m missing my only child days already and just being able to work on our reading, writing, going to the park or wherever else whenever we were ready, etc.

By: Shelly

Shelly — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 23:17:13 +0000

You already know my feelings about 3 (or almost 3). I’m still pulling for Mexico, the cabana boys and many margaritas.

By: Mama Bub

Mama Bub — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 21:49:34 +0000

I am terrified for three if it’s worse than two. The whining, the wild mood swings, the ability to make all 39 pounds of himself go limp when I need to get him upstairs, is killing me. No advice though, other than my current method of self medicating with powdered donuts.

By: heather~Domestic Extraordinaire

heather~Domestic Extraordinaire — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 15:43:18 +0000

A schedule did wonders for Giggles when I was pregnant with The Chicken. I was so sick, but we stuck to that schedule and she seemed to be happier when she knew exactly what was coming.

I would also try to get involved in some sort of playgroup. I know, I know, that is easier said than done, but I think in the long run it will help you out. I cherished my MOPS mornings each week.