El Fin

Today is FINALLY the last day of voting in the Microsoft Office Winter Olympics contest. Please vote for me one last time. Maybe post a little somethin’ somethin’ on your blog or Twitter it? Pretty please with sugar on top? I’ll totally love you forever.

I need a plan. Or drugs. Possibly both.

As I recently twittered, today was one of those days when I repeatedly wondered if there was an age cut-off for dropping your baby off at the fire department. Maddie was a terrible listener and I grouchy as hell. It was a combination of nuclear holocaust proportions.

Over the last month or so, I’ve noticed that Maddie’s getting more and more douchbaggy and I’m getting less and less tolerant patient mentally stable. I’m on the edge of snapping all the damn time. I’d say something about how this makes me feel like a horrible mother, but know I’m not. I don’t abuse her in any way and all her needs are met. However, I am not a very loving mother on these days. I feel very guilty and frequently punish myself with thoughts of something happening to her and having to live with the guilt over fussing at her forever.

The problem is that she’s almost three which is prime douchebag time (second only to 15, I think) and I’m pregnant. I can’t for the life of me figure out what to do. It’s not as though I can change either condition. I’m trying to concentrate on my behavior and reactions to her, but DAYUM it’s hard. I don’t remember being so angry and short-tempered when I was pregnant with Maddie. I was an emotional wreck, but it was more of the “weepy” and “woe is me” variety. Now I’m knee-deep in “leave me alone for five minutes already, for crying out loud!” It almost feels like my Z0l0ft has stopped working, but I don’t want to have the doctor raise my dosage while I’m pregnant. I’m already worried about how what I’m currently taking is going to affect the baby in the long term. I’m grasping at straws trying to find a magic solution.

I think going back to work will be a big help. I’m afraid not cut out to be a full-time stay at home mom. This terrifies me because it’s our plan for me to stay home permanently when the new baby’s born. I know that something has to change. I can’t keep doing things the same old way and expecting Maddie and I to be happy. I think I need more time with grown-ups and Maddie needs more time with other kids. We can’t continue to be each other’s sole source of entertainment/stimulation.

Any other moms out there have some advice? I’ll settle for empathy, if you’ve got that.

Things I love right now

1. Burt’s Bees Natural Acne Solutions Purifying Gel Cleanser – First of all, let me tell you that “gel” is not an accurate term for this face wash. It’s really liquidy and thin. However, that isn’t a negative for me. I just didn’t want you to be surprised by the lack of “gel” like I was. Anyhow, this stuff is wicked awesome. I love Burt’s Bees products already, but being pregnant makes me more careful about the products I use. I tend to be the acne-riddled pregnant woman as opposed to glowing and this product has nothing scary in it to worry about. The best part is that it WORKS! I’ve only had a couple of zits in the three months I’ve been pregnant. And they were small and went away quickly. (Especially when used with item #2 on the list.) At $10 a bottle, it’s kind of pricey, but so far has lasted me almost three months with once-a-day washing.

2. Burt’s Bees Natural Acne Solutions Target Spot Treatment – There are a couple of downsides to this product. First, it stinks. (Well, it smells like licorice to me which I think stinks. You might love it.) Also, it’s a weird container/dispenser. Again, it’s a liquid and it took me a while to figure out the best way to apply it. I jab a q-tip at the nozzle thing and let it soak up the anti-zit goodness. I just dab it on the zit and voila! It dries clear and is easy to cover up with make-up. I haven’t had any redness or peeling or dry skin at all.

3. Olay Body Wash plus Body Butter Ribbons – My skin is D-R-Y like the effing Sahara. This, combined with the fact that I’m entirely too lazy to apply lotion after a shower leads me to be ashy and itchy all Fall and Winter. However, this body wash has changed my life. After three days of use, my skin is normal. I’m not going to go so far as to say it’s dewy or moist, but it’s certainly not the Sahara. I’ve used it for the last few years and can’t imagine using anything else this time of year.

4. Boots No.7 SPF 15 Protect and Perfect Day Cream – This stuff is FABU. Seriously. It goes on silky smooth and is quickly absorbed. I typically put it on and then blow-dry my hair. By the time I’m done (2 minutes later) I can put my make-up on. This moisturizer isn’t greasy or heavy and the SPF is a total plus. You can buy it without, but why? I’m not trying to be a hot wrinkled mess in the next few years. The price is a little steep, but the jar is lasting me FOR-EVAH. It really only takes a small amount each day.

5. Old Navy Sweater Slipper Boots – I got a pair this weekend for 50% off ($8) and I’m in love. They’re super comfy and keep my feet toasty warm without venturing into sweaty territory. The sueded bottom isn’t slippery and is quiet on the tile. As an aside, Maddie has these Old Navy slippers and feels the same way about them. They’re easy enough for her to get on and off herself and she wants to wear them all the time, so I assume they’re comfy. She also runs around like a madwoman and doesn’t fall flat on her face while wearing them. Well, not any more often than usual.

Thank you for being a friend

So yesterday I had a phone conversation with Rachael, a PR rep working on the Microsoft Office contest, and it was completely surreal. I mean, here I am, country bumpkin from BFE Texas talking to someone about drumming up press for ol’ All Dressed Up.

When I started this blog lo these many years ago, I had no idea where I’d end up. I was miserable, scared, and lonely on bed rest and just wanted to reach out to someone, anyone. What I found was so much more than I bargained for. I’ve made real and lasting connections with some amazing women. Women who have kids the same age as mine. Women who don’t have kids at all. Women who stay home and women that work in the corporate world. Women that I never would have found had it not been for blogging.

As cheesy as it sounds, I feel like I’ve already won a great prize thanks to my blog. Even if I don’t get the chance to blog from the Olympics, I’ll still be here, trying to make you laugh and think. Who knows where we’ll end up in another three years? But I’m so very glad that you’ve decided to come along for the ride.

LOVE ME, DAMN IT!

So, I guess my meteoric rise to fame with the Microsoft Office contest has alienated some of my commenters. I understand. You’re intimidated now that I’m “somebody.” It’s only natural. But I assure you, I’m still the same ol’ Erica. Come back to me, commenters.

Seriously, though, where’d you go? Have I become that vapid and boring? Don’t you love me anymore? Is it because I’m getting fat? Oh my god, it’s because I’m fat, isn’t it? I knew it. I can’t help it! My unborn child is suffering from a Pop Tart deficiency and the only way to combat it is with frosted blueberry goodness! You are so heartless. I feel like I don’t even know you anymore!

Fun Fact Friday – “I’ve Never” Edition

* I’ve never had a broken bone.
* I’ve never seen the Grand Canyon.
* I’ve never been to Las Vegas.
* I’ve never ridden a horse.
* I’ve never been skiing (water or snow).
* I’ve never painted a room.
* I’ve never changed a tire.
* I’ve never been on TV.
* I’ve never swallowed, snorted, or injected an illegal drug.
* I’ve never been arrested.
* I’ve never read a non-fiction book outside of school requirements.
* I’ve never eaten venison, bison or any other “exotic” meat.
* I’ve never successfully hit a ball with a bat.
* I’ve never grown my own vegetables.

How about you? What have you never done?

10 days left

Look, I know you’re tired of the posts and tweets and facebook updates about voting for me. Hell, I’m kind of tired of writing them. But this is SUPER IMPORTANT to me and I want to go to Vancouver SO BADLY that I’m going to nag you senseless until the 29th. After that, well, we’ll get back to our regularly scheduled baby / job hunting talk.

So, please go vote for me again today. I really appreciate it. And remember, there’s totally a speed skater in it for you.

The Ghost of Winter Games Past

Don’t forget to head on over to vote for me today!

I’ve told you that my family’s Canadian, haven’t I? My mom was born in Laval, Montreal and my dad grew up in Brantford, Ontario. I grew up in a small suburb of Cleveland where the winters are cold and full of lake-effect snow. These two factors meant that I was an ice skater. (According to my mother, kids in Canada learned to ice skate before they could even walk.)

My dad was obsessed with ice hockey and was thrilled to take me to get my first pair of skates. Of course, I wanted sleek white figure skates and not those clunky ol’ black hockey skates. He didn’t mind. Skating was skating. He took me every chance we had. We skated on lumpy bumpy outdoor rinks and freshly Zambonied indoor rinks. I practiced my turns and skating backwards and my Katarina Witt spins. In my mind, I wore a sequined figure skating dress and was tossed about effortlessly by Brian Boitano.

In reality, I was as graceful as a drunk wildebeest.

Seriously, I was terrible. I could skate around the rink and manage a few wobbly spins, but I was far from “good.” But you know what? It didn’t matter. Not to me and not to my dad. We skated because we loved it, not because we were trying to impress anyone.

I still remember how we were glued to the TV during the 1988 Winter Olympics in Calgary. We were riveted by the Battle of the Brians and the Jamaican Bobsled team. I remember being fascinated by Curling. (I still am, btw. I mean, tea kettles and brooms? Really?) As I got older, watching the Olympics became less cool and so did skating. I no longer thought that spending a Saturday at the rink with my dad was fun. I would have much rather been at the mall with my friends looking for cute boys. However, I got even older and fell in love with the Winter Games all over again. The luge! The ski jumps! The bobsledding! What’s not to love, right?

And maybe one of these days I’ll figure out what the heck Curling is all about.

I bet I’m going to get to ride a bobsled with BILL!

Yours truly has been selected as one of the five semi-finalists in the Microsoft Office Winter Games contest. This means that I have a chance to be the official Microsoft Blogger at the 2010 Olympic Winter Games in Vancouver.

I KNOW!!!

So, here’s where you come in. To narrow it down to three finalists, Microsoft has opened up voting today until 11/29. You can vote once a day! When voting closes, the judges will choose a blogger from the three finalists.

Now, you all know that MY posts from the Games will be spectacular and funny, but not EVERYBODY knows that. Please ask your friends and family to vote for me, too, k? I know it’s a lot to ask, but I’ll totally bring you back something AWESOME from Vancouver. Maybe a skier. Or one of those speed-skating guys. They’d be handy to have around the house, right? I bet those other semi-finalists would only bring you back a t-shirt. Sheesh. What the heck are you going to do with a another t-shirt?

GO HERE TO VOTE!

Shame

It’s confession time here at All Dressed Up: I’m a hypocrite. There. I said it. Er, typed it. It’s out in the open and now we can move forward, right? Oh, you want to know exactly what I’m hypocritical about?

It’s gender stereotypes. More specifically, gender stereotypes and how I see my daughter.

Maddie isn’t a girly girl. She doesn’t like playing with baby dolls or pretending to be a princess. She’d much rather be a fireman, or a robot or dinosaur. She loves Buzz Lightyear, not Jessie. She won’t play with My Little Pony. She’d rather play soccer or catch, thank you very much. While I never wanted for her to be seduced by the Evil Disney Princess Empire ™, I have to admit that I’m a little dismayed by her consistent choice to play with “boy” toys.

Mostly, I’m ashamed at my feelings about this. I always thought I was enlightened and open-minded when it came to gender. I never thought I’d have a problem at all if one of my children was gay or even transgendered. I would be supportive and non-judgmental! I would be a role model to other parents!

But it seems I’m none of those things. Apparently, I want my daughter to fit into the little girl-sized box I’ve constructed in my mind. I want her to take ballet lessons and play with make-up and let me paint her toenails pink. In short, I want her to be who I want her to be, not herself.

That’s appalling. As a mother, it’s my fervent wish for my child to be healthy, happy and well-adjusted. If being a robot makes her happy, then so what? If she wants to play soccer instead of dancing, who cares? If she’d rather have Buzz Lightyear for Christmas than Jessie, then I’ll get her Buzz Lightyear. I vow to demolish the box in my mind and let my daughter be who she wants to be. I vow not to let my preconceived ideas of “appropriate” girl behavior color my interactions with her. I will simply love her as she is and be grateful that I get to tag along on her adventures.

Maddie is perfect just the way she is and I love her for it.