Potty Time & Tears
I think we’re about ready to try potty training boot camp again. Last time, we managed almost an entire day and then Maddie got upset after an accident. She started crying and saying she didn’t want to use the potty when we’d ask her to go. We backed off immediately and told her we’d try again later.
This morning she woke up and asked for underpants instead of a diaper. I told her that only big girls who use the potty all the time get to wear underpants. I asked if she wanted to use the potty and she replied that she did not. However, she still wanted underpants. I was firm in my “underpants for pottying girls only” stance and she got it.
So, I was thinking I need to try a new way this time around. One that’s less stressful for Maddie and for me. I mean, let’s face it, if I’m stressed about it, she’s going to be stressed about it. I saw The No-Cry Potty Training Solution by Elizabeth Pantley on Amazon and it looks really good. Here’s an excerpt that I really agree with:
“Go
Begin dressing your child in training pants or pull-up diapers.
Create a potty routine–have your child sit on the potty when she first wakes up, after meals, before getting in the car, and before bed.
If your child looks like she needs to go–tell, don’t ask! Say, “Let’s go to the potty.”
Boys and girls both can learn sitting down. Teach your son to hold his penis down. He can learn to stand when he’s tall enough to reach.
Your child must relax to go: read a book, tell a story, sing, or talk about the day.
Make hand washing a fun part of the routine. Keep a step stool by the sink, and have colorful, child-friendly soap available.
Praise her when she goes!
Expect accidents, and clean them up calmly.
Matter-of-factly use diapers or pull-ups for naps and bedtime.
Either cover the car seat or use pull-ups or diapers for car trips.
Visit new bathrooms frequently when away from home.
Be patient! It will take three to twelve months for your child to be an independent toileter.
Stop
If your child has temper tantrums or sheds tears over potty training, or if you find yourself getting angry, then stop training. Review your training plan and then try again, using a slightly different approach if necessary, in a month or two.”
Have any of you used any of Elizabeth Pantley’s books? If you did, what did you think of it? Did it help or was it stuff you pretty much already knew?
Filed under: maddie, two is the new Hell
I’ve given you all the goods I have. I think it’s ultimately dependent on the kid in question and his/her personality. I will send you nothing but happy pee/poop vibes. Well, and for Maddie, too.
1 Shelly said this (August 3, 2009 at 12:56 pm)
I know nothing about this, but it sounds like a good strategy. Good luck!
2 Jess said this (August 3, 2009 at 1:28 pm)
I’m not there yet, but anxiously wait to hear what kind of results you get.
3 Sarah said this (August 3, 2009 at 1:41 pm)
I read The No Cry Sleep Solution and was completely overwhelmed by the process she suggested. It seemed that, at that rate, it would take YEARS for my son to sleep through the night. Although, I suppose there were good suggestions for someone who was willing/interested in getting results without resorting to crying. Ultimately, I caved. He cried. We all sleep now.
Potty training and sleeping are different animals though, and her advice sounds good. I can’t wait to hear how it goes.
4 Mama Bub said this (August 3, 2009 at 3:12 pm)
I have PTSD from potty training my one child and there is a reason I only have one child, so I can revel in my PTSD and avoid ‘Nam flashbacks that result form answering questions like this. As much as I would like to help you, I actually no kidding do not remember exactly what it was that made it work, except that it involved threats, cajoling, and m&m’s.
5 momtrolfreak said this (August 3, 2009 at 3:16 pm)
It sounds like good advice. It might be worth checking out if you think you need fresh ideas. I think things you’ve said you’re trying are great so far. You just have to keep trying. I hated when people told me “you’ll know when they’re ready”. “How?” I just wanted to know that. Anyway, we just kept trying at different times like you. And honestly, when he was ready he just GOT it. Sure it was trying and stressful and frustrating at times, but he got it. I think following your own instincts might be the best answer.
Check your local library for the book. You’d know if you’ll like it or not then, and you’re not out any money.
6 Mommy Daisy said this (August 3, 2009 at 8:18 pm)
We didn’t use the book, but we used a similar method, encouraged by daycare, who has done this way more than me.
It was all M’s choice to do it. It worked like a charm, though thanks to an unfortunate incident with the autoflushers at the Zoo, we don’t potty in public at the moment (we keep a potty in the trunk of my car, I know, crazy right). We let her stay in undies all the time, let her know accidents weren’t a big deal, and it worked. The one thing that didn’t work was trying to train with pull-ups on. the kid can hold it for hours but as soon as she gets a pull-up on for bed she pees ever 20 minutes. She uses it to stall, and I think just doesn’t think about holding it when she can pee right now!
7 Amelia Sprout said this (August 3, 2009 at 9:04 pm)
Uh, just taking a moment to say “heh heh” – the potty training book is by Elizabeth PANTley? Heh heh.
8 SF Lurker said this (August 3, 2009 at 9:29 pm)
I bought that book when we were getting ready to potty train Winston. It was comforting and nice to have around. The information was a lot of things I already knew, plus a quite a few “duh”-like insights that helped ME in the process. Oh! There was a quiz inside, to see if your child was ready to potty train: that was my favorite part.
I agree with Amelia Sprout on the pullups. Wednesday, who did GREAT the first day of potty training, will hold it all day long if he knows I’ll put him in a pull up.
Good Luck, Mama and Miss Maddie!
9 MzEll said this (August 5, 2009 at 6:54 pm)