Reasons the last seven days have sucked ass

1. I think I may have kidney stones. The pain is unfuckingbearable. I have a sonogram/dr’s appt tomorrow morning to “scope” things out. I’ve decided that the new gastric bypass slogan ought to be “Lose Weight and Be Full of Stones!”

2. I wrecked my car tonight. I was leaving work and in the parking garage some schmuck was going the wrong way down the aisle. I swerved to miss a head-on collision and ended up hitting a fucking pole. It scraped down my fender and then collapsed my passenger door. It’s not pretty. Of course, the schmuck drove off and since his car never touched mine it’s really my fault and that means paying a deductible and that leads us to…

3. I fucked up our checking account so badly last month that our mortgage payment bounced on the 1st of March. We’ve NEVER missed a payment or been late on a payment before. Guess I can’t say that anymore, now can I?

4. Maddie hates her new daycare. She sobs to the point of gagging when I drop her off. I spent 10 minutes sitting in my car bawling my eyes out after this morning’s drop off. There will be a whole post on this once I get five minutes to my goddamn self.

5. I got home at 8:00 tonight and I have to be at work at 7am tomorrow to make up time for my stupid kidney stone dr appt. This means there’s TWO WHOLE HOURS in between getting home and going to bed and only 12 hours in between shifts at work.

I feel like I’m buried under 40 tons of shit. And the worst part? I can’t self-medicate with ice cream.

That sound you hear is me uncorking a wine bottle…

Filed under complaining | Comments (17)

100

As of yesterday morning, I’ve lost 100 pounds. I’m still sort of in awe/denial about it. Sure, I knew it was coming, but still. It’s hard to believe that I used to weigh 100 pounds more than I do now.

Starting my job this week was so much easier now that I’m not 300 pounds. Back in the fatty days, I was always so nervous about situations where I had to meet new people. I was afraid that all they’d see was my fat and decide I was worth getting to know. Projecting much? I mean, looking back on it now, I can plainly see that I was the one who thought I wasn’t worth it. This past week, I felt cute and comfortable in my own skin. I wasn’t worried about what people would think of how I looked. It was freeing. I was able to concentrate more on what people were saying to me instead of obsessing over what they must be thinking about me.

There were also some surprises this week. Like fitting in chairs with room to spare. I can sit in my desk chair indian-style now. And I was freezing cold all week as opposed to sweating. And I VOLUNTARILY climbed two flights of stairs to visit another department. There are lots of things I do now that I never used to do! I play with Maddie at the playground, I cross my legs, I LOVE shopping for clothes, my sex life has improved, my skin is clearer and I feel pretty. Losing 100 pounds is like some kind of MIRACLE DRUG! heh.

As always, pictures are here.

Filed under WLS | Comments (25)

Company Policy

So, today was my first day back at The Workplace. I was nervous and extra socially awk, but I manged to make it through the day without setting anything on fire. Or farting. Out loud.

Get this: While scanning the company handbook, I happen to read a blurb that specifically prohibits blogging about The Workplace or things that happen at The Workplace.

WTF? I’ll be spending 24 hours a week there and I’m not allowed to tell you anything about it? Not even using pseudonyms and lies poetic license? Well, you’ll notice that I came straight home from work and promptly violated company policy. Look at me! I’m the new Dooce!

Anyhow, I felt super cute in my new work clothes. I was hoping to get a wink or nod at my new found hotness, but instead I got guys drooling over my G1. Geeks, I swear. I had cleavage for MILES and I kept hearing about my damn phone.

Also, let’s talk about my shift. In theory, 10-7 sounds wonderful. No early rising, Maddie doesn’t spend all day in dayare, less traffic on the road… The downside is that I work until 7:00 PM. It was the longest effing day of my life. It was DARK when I left work. As in NIGHT TIME. I ate dinner at 8:00 at night, for crying out loud! Honestly, who works until 7, anyway? Communists, that’s who.

And me.

Filed under Workplace | Comments (9)