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Genetics, Shmenetics
February 25th, 2009
So my boobs are hideous, right? I’ve lost fat, but not skin. This equals SAGGING of EPIC PROPORTIONS. Think “tennis ball in a tube sock.” (You: I so did not want or need that visual, kthanx.) Before my surgery, I promised myself that my reward for reaching my goal weight would be plastic surgery. First on my list? Boobs. I don’t want fake ones, I just want them put back into the northern hemisphere of my body.
On Monday I saw my OB/Gyn for my annual visit and we talked about my boobs and the history of breast cancer in my family. The conclusion is that I’m going for genetic counseling and testing for the breast cancer gene. (Specifically, the BRCA test.) If I test positive for a known mutation, I’ve opted for a preventative mastectomy along with reconstruction.
I have no love for my breasts. I find them extraordinarily unattractive and I’ve never forgiven them for failing to nourish my beautiful girl. I don’t consider my breasts to be the seat of my femininity, so I won’t feel like less of a woman when my natural breast tissue is removed. Honestly, I think I’ll be relieved. I don’t obsess or ruminate on THE CANCER and whether or not it’s COMING TO GET ME, but it is sort of a small, dark cloud that hovers in the back of my mind. I don’t want to be ripped away from my husband and my child by some insidious disease that hides in a body part that I don’t even like. I also want Maddie to know whether or not she needs to be extra vigilant with her breast screenings and self-exams as she gets older. I feel like this information is vital to her future health, you know?
If the screening turns out to be negative for known mutations, I don’t think it’ll make much of a difference for me. Physically, it will save me from a mastectomy, of course. But THE CANCER cloud will still hover in the back of my mind and I’ll still stare suspiciously at my reflection sure that my breasts are plotting a war against me.
test Filed under daily | Comments (9)9 Responses to “Genetics, Shmenetics”
until you are able to get your girls a bit perkier I suggest molded cup underwire bras. They work miracles, I swear!
How soon can you get tested? How long does it take to get results? Do you really think you’re prepared to hear a positive answer?
I’ve always thought the same thing about my boobs. I mean, obviously you don’t know exactly how you’d react until you’re in a particular situation, but I really think I could get rid of my boobs without a second thought. They’re just boobs, they are not what defines ME.
Now, if I lost my sarcasm gene, that would be disastrous.
I think this is a great plan, and perfect timing. Smart thinking!
Sounds like a plan! I’d be worried about cancer too, but I’m glad they have tests to check for the gene mutation.
Shelly – I’ve already called the genetic counselor and she’s sending me a packet to fill out and return. Once they get it and review it, I’ll go in for the testing and counseling. After the blood draw, it takes two weeks to get the results back.
When you’re contemplating the loss of your breasts, for me at least, it’s not so much about aesthetics or femininity as much as the loss of sensation. Sexually. I think grieving the loss of breasts, for me, will be more about grieving the loss of nipples during sex. Sometime in the next year I’ll find out just how much of a loss that is.
I agree with you; I hate the specter of breast cancer hanging over all of us. As my friend said after she had her third baby (she was 39 so she was freaked about all the negative news on that), and after she had all the tests you get at 40, everything checked out, yatta, she said, “Well, I guess now I just sit and wait for the cancer”. Man it feels that way.
I know you’ll be fine though.
Wow, I wish you luck with all of that. It’s a big deal and I’m sure scary.
Don’t give up on the idea of breastfeeding any future children. I had problems too, and also felt like my body failed me. I was able to breastfeed a litte, just not enough. But I am truly hoping it will be different for future children. I have talked to quite a few people who had that happen with their first babies, then they were able to successfully breastfeed future babies.
I am sorry about the sagging, yo. That whole thing sucks, I think. The awesome weight loss should be conflict free.