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So, um, yeah
February 9th, 2009
Things are better here. Maddie’s over her cold/demonic possession. Also, there may have been some PMS involved, but I’m not naming any names.
This latest cold meant that Maddie missed two days of preschool. Wait, what I really meant to say is that I missed two days of Maddie’s preschool. I’ve come to cherish my 10 hours a week of alone time. When I realized she was sick on Thursday morning I was so. very. put. out. “What about me?? What about my QUIET TIME??” Again, there was someone in the house who had PMS which may or may not have lead to exacerbated feelings of entitlement/martyrdom.
After a particularly hellish weekend with Legion Maddie, I cracked open a bottle of Riesling last night. I’m not technically supposed to drink alcohol until I’m a year post-op, but I’m also not supposed to kill my first born child, either. It was one of those “lesser of two evils” type of situations. Anyhow. I drank a quarter of a glass over 30 minutes and let me tell you, it was bliss. I got a nice buzz that was gone after an hour and some blessed relaxation. I woke up in good mood for the first time in almost a week. I guess I can add “budding alcoholic” to my resume now. Most people get that kind of training in college, but I didn’t. I like to think I’m taking the adult learning course over at the bar annex.
9 Responses to “So, um, yeah”
I have recently learned my husband will mostly be working from home for the next 2 months. My “ME” time while the kid is at MDO? GONE. I could weep. By the time he’s back in the office, it’ll practically be summer vacation. Which is something I was thinking today. Doesn’t that seem a bit cruel to leave me with my own kid 7 days a week during the summer?
Damn PMS! We had a little trouble with that over here last week too…
I did say wine helps, didn’t I?
Don’t worry, you will get through this….unfortunately you will get through this, only to get to the next exasperating level.
They tell me that someday they actually move out. Until this happens though, I’m not buying it!
HUGS!
grace
Glad you and Legion are doing better. Brilliant!
Well, you have a LONG WAY TO GO if you want to work up to my standards from your measly QUARTER-GLASS!
It’s nice to know you can have a little without getting sick though. You know, in case you want to hang out with any REAL budding alcoholics!
Hmph. You got all this “perspective” and whatnot, and now my baby fever is TOTALLY BACK ON TRACK.
Lesser of two evils–HA HA HA HA!
Budding alcoholic! Ah, join the club…
During my weird health issues with my ears and brain, etc., last year, which turned into the worst thing I’ve ever had had to go through in my LIFE (so far, knock on wood), I relied heavily on wine just to keep from going insane. I went from having wine here and there or socially or whatever to having it every singly night. *Needing* to have it every single night.
Just to get a few hours of relief from the torture.
I didn’t plan on using it that way but wine was the only thing that helped. The doctors could do nothing; there are no drugs to help me, they said I just had to suffer through it and hope one day my body naturally adjusted.
Well, you tell me; if you found that you could take something to ease your pain and it was not illegal, and it made you feel so much better, would you do it or not? Or would you just suffer?
I tried to suffer. Didn’t like it much.
But I did feel like the biggest alkie on the planet. Some days it would be so bad, I would look at the clock while working and count the hours until I could pour a glass of wine.
Yeah.
Is that alkie behavior or not?
You think I was scared? Oh yes, I was scared to death. I have alcoholics in my family and I don’t *ever* want to be like that. I’d cry sometimes as I’d open the bottle because wine had turned into this *thing* it had never been before and I hated that.
But my husband said, alcohol is the oldest form of medicine. That I wasn’t abusing it, that I wasn’t using it recreationally (although that’s fine on occasion) that I was using it for a purpose. He had faith that I would not become addicted and I didn’t.
Those days are gone, now. I no longer have to lean on wine like that. It’s back to how it used to be for me and I’m very grateful.
I guess what I’m trying to say is, apart from the fact you’re not supposed to have alcohol for a year and I understand that, I don’t think using wine as a relaxant is the terrible thing so many people in this country seem to think it is. It’s okay to have it with meals or at a social celebration but if you choose to deliberately have some to relax and wind down at night when you’re going through something difficult, some people just freak out over that.
Yet, more often than not, those same people are on a litany of anti-anxiety/psychotropic drugs prescribed for them. And I always want to ask them, why is it okay for you to be taking 6 different types of drugs to treat your anxiety but not okay for me to have a couple of glasses of wine to treat mine?
Anyway…I went off track, sorry, you just reminded me of the crushing guilt I felt for several months last year over this issue. I wish looking back I just would have had the wine and not beat myself up about it so much.
So yay for wine and yay for you having a little and relaxing and glad you got through your hellish weekend intact.