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Capital Murder
February 6th, 2009
(Dearest Maddie, if you’re reading this years from now, I advise that you skip this post. Love, Mama.)
My kid is an asshole.
Seriously.
She’s a jerk and if we weren’t related I wouldn’t want anything to do with her. She’s ungrateful, spiteful, hateful and rude. A few months ago, I wanted another baby with every fiber of my ovaries. Now? I can’t imagine going through “two years old” ever, ever again. My daughter has taken my desire to procreate and stabbed it to death. Then she set it on fire and dumped it in a shallow ditch.
I love her just as much as I always have, but I can’t stand being around her these days. She’s contrary about EVERYTHING and my head begins to hurt within 2.5 seconds of interacting with her. Dear Christ, what would it be like if I wasn’t on the z0loft? I’d be in jail, that’s what it’d be like. It hurts my heart to admit out loud that I don’t like being around my kid. What kind of mother feels that way, much less admits it to the world? What kind of mother can’t wait to go back to work part-time just for 24 hours a week away from her kid?
The mother of a two year old, that’s what kind.
test Filed under maddie | Comments (19)19 Responses to “Capital Murder”
Also, the mother of 4 and 6-yr olds, and I imagine mothers of preteens, teenagers, 21 year olds, etc.!!!! I don’t think it ever ends – just breathe into it and enjoy the good moments. Also, an iPod with earbuds helps a lot.
Been there, done that! Still doing it!
Uh, if you think this is bad, wait until you can’t control her anymore and you have to allow her out of the house doing god-knows-what, god-knows-where!
Mine may be 18 but to me she’ll always be 2. GAH!
Good luck!
Oh, wine helps.
HUGS!
grace
Oh my God, you stole my post! I had to send my two year old off to grandma’s for a couple of days because I was about to kill him. I HATE two. I love it because when they’re cute, they’re really cute, but that’s only like 5% of the time. The other 95% of the time is all tantrums and hitting and biting (at least in my house). My 8 month old is lucky that he was a “surprise” because we certainly wouldn’t have pursued a third after dealing with #2′s twoness.
This is why they are so cute at the beginning – so you have these memories of them that keep you from selling them on the baby market.
I feel that way very often too. You are not alone.
Ah, isn’t 2 grand? Wait till you meet 3 year old Maddie.
You are not alone girl…we all go thru this..it will pass and you will like her again! I promise, then you will go thru it again during the pre-teen and teen years..haha. Take a deep breath and count to ten!
Umm, yeah. Mine are 18, 17, 15, 12, 11, 6 and 2.5. Since two of them have hit the 17yo mark, I have discovered that 17yrs of bullshit is all I can take. The oldest left when she was 17, and the next one has already joined the army and will leave before she turns 18. I can’t wait.
*sigh*
peace…
My two were angels at two. It was three and four with the older one, and three (PLEASE NOT FOUR) with the younger one, that left me weeping uncontrollably because, I just don’t like them anymore.
Yep, yep, I hear ya. I echo Devan…wait until 3. We had our moments in the 2s, but we’re hitting the 3s now and MY GOODNESS. Take him back please! Anyway…part of life I suppose.
My mother says “They don’t call them the Terrible Twos and Horrible Threes for nothing”. Thanks, Mom. But no one tells you about the 3s until you hit the 2s, by then it’s too late.
Aw. It’ll go away. It’s just, you know, the FIRST ADOLESCENCE. AAAAAAAAH.
I’m glad you say it out loud, E. You’re honest and direct and I REALLY appreciate it.
Two was scary for The Chicken-mostly because she couldn’t communicate what she wanted/needed. Giggles was always calm & I enjoyed her being two. But Chicken, well…..Let’s just say that if we didn’t alter the hubs so his baby maker is shut down we would have considered it at 2!
Does that mean you got your old job back??
I hid in the shower a couple of times from Ray when he was two; I just couldn’t bear it anymore, he’d been whining and hanging on me alllll dayyyyyy lonnnngggg.
I thought, my GOD I’m a terrible mother but I just needed a few minutes to breathe, you know?
And when Lucy decided she was going to learn how to read at 3 or 4, I about lost my mind. “What’s this? WHAT’S THIS! WHATTTT?!!! WHATTTTT!?” I had to drop everything and run to her and explain
every
damn
word
in
the
book
Would she let me read it to her or sit with her? NOOOO! She had to do it on her own.
You know, humans are supposed to have extended family/friends/social network while raising kids. A tribe, you know; historically, in most societies, there were usually many mothers, aunts, sisters, etc., and many children and parenting wasn’t on just ONE person all day, all the time.
Now we’re expected to do it all alone and that’s why so many women have trouble with this.
And ditto what Shelly said; did you get your job back?
My 2 year old has been great, until this week. I just called a Grandma to come get him for the night because FUCK I need a break from him being so very very two.
I told him the other day that he was driving me nuts and making my head hurt. Now he seems to take these two things as his personal freaking goal each and every day.
Oy.
And I was silly enough to just give birth to Version 2.0 Girl Edition.
I really think it’s the UNPREDICTABLILITY that’s the worst. You never know when it’s gonna be Maddie, or you know, SATAN.
I’ve had baby fever recently. This post is helping. So are the comments.
I know that this isn’t AT ALL what you want to hear, but mine was a holy terror from birth – 6 years. At 6, she is getting her act together and I’m starting to really like the little hellbeast. So there’s hope – far off, but hope.
Okay, I feel you AND I will say that I think almost-three is getting easier! I know people say 3 is WORSE than two (and I often wanted to hit those people) but honestly I think it gets better as their language skills get better.
Either that or I’m just having a good day. I’ll take what I can get!
Ah yes, two. HATE IT. I am forever referring to P as an asshole, though not to her precious widdle face of course. Seriously, this kid redefines asshole when she’s being a nightmare.
A few weeks ago I just snapped and spent the rest of the night crying and feeling shaky because I don’t usually lose my mind like that with her, but jesus…she was evil that night.
I fear three. Six months to go.