SUCCESS!
Maddie peed in the potty! Completely out of the blue, she asked to go to the potty and sat down and peed. I couldn’t be prouder if she won the effing Nobel Prize in Chemistry!
Filed under maddie | Comments (8)Please tell me if I look like a jackass.
So I went shopping this morning while Maddie was at school. I had an Old Navy gift card from Christmas and it was burning a hole in my pocket.
Why am I telling you? Because, once again, I need your opinions. I went shopping by myself, so there was no voice of reason to tell me if I looked like a dweeb. I was so happy to fit into size XL clothes and to be able to choose from SO! MANY! THINGS! that I may have gone a little off the rails.
Please take a look at these photos and give it to me straight. The pics are blurry because I had to turn the flash off lest it blind me in the mirror. And as much as I love my Nikon, that thing is a bitch to take self-portraits. So just squint and pretend they’re crisp and in-focus, all right?
I need a remote and a good tripod. Also: fashion sense.
Filed under daily, photos | Comments (23)Potty Mouth
I need to talk to you about potty training.
You: Yay. Another mommyblog post about pee pee and poo poo.
Listen, I get that it’s not the coolest topic around, but I’m desperate for advice.
Maddie’s all about the potty these days. She loves to go into the bathroom and sit on it for all of .4565 seconds, pull off a huge ream of tp and flush it. But that’s all she likes to do. I can’t get her to sit on the potty for more than a nanosecond. Certainly not long enough to actually use it, for crying out loud.
I can hear you gearing up to comment and tell me that she’s ONLY TWO! And STOP RUSHING! And SHE’LL DO IT WHEN SHE’S READY! I’m totally on board with all of those things. If it were up to me, potty training would be on the back burner. But here’s the thing: Maddie’s taking off her diapers now. The other day I walked into the living room and she was virtually stark naked. She’s a little Houdini and can take off her diaper while her pants are still on. Then you’re all unawares that there’s anything amiss until, well, there’s a mess. There’s also the time she took it off during a nap. Should I mention it was full of poop at the time? *shudder* So anyway, I figure we should get this potty thing working for us ASAP.
My question is how do I get her to understand what she’s supposed to do on the potty? When she has a poopy diaper, we take it into the bathroom and deposit the poop into the potty. Then she flushes it away and is very proud of herself. However, she’s one of those kids who’s all “wet diaper? meh.” She doesn’t acknowledge or care remotely about being wet. I don’t know how to get her to understand the concept of peeing in the potty. Got any advice?
Filed under maddie | Comments (16)Six Months Post-Op
On January 21st I reached the six month post gastric bypass* mark. Here’s a run down of my progress:
* I’ve lost 91 lbs and currently weigh 209.
* I wear an XL shirt and 16 or 18 in pants, depending on the cut.
First of all, let me stress how incredibly happy I am with my progress. 91 lbs is a hella lot of weight to lose. I feel absolutely fantastic. I’ve begun to lose track of all the new and fabulous things I can do. I forget what it’s like to be 300 lbs. I will forever be grateful that I had to opportunity to have the surgery.
That being said, let’s talk about the bad stuff, ok? Well, there’s really only one REALLY bad thing. The loose skin. OMG, I look like an effing shar pei. I get so disgusted when I look in the mirror and I see the toll that being 150 lbs overweight has taken on my body. My legs and arms look like they belong on a 70 year old woman. I have trouble fitting into clothes in my size because of them. My belly doesn’t bother me as much, I guess, because it’s easier to disguise. I’ve got a couple of spanx-y type camis that do a great job of smoothing out my lumps and bumps. However, I’m a little lot worried about the warm/hot as hell months ahead. There’s no way I can wear that shit in 100 degree temperatures.
I wish with all my heart that I could go back in time and stop myself before my weight got so out of control. Yes, I’m changing my ways, but my body has paid a very high price. And I’m going to have to pay an even higher one to have it put back the way it’s supposed to be. The plastic surgeries I’d like to have (brachioplasty, belt lipectomy, breast lift, thigh lift) will run in the neighborhood of $45k.
* A note on this month’s pictures: Normally, I try to have Gerald take my pictures when I look halfway decent. However, I’m sick. AGAIN. So basically I don’t give a damn. I have no make-up on, I’m wearing yoga pants and a free t-shirt. That’s as good as it gets this month. I dare you to give me shit about it.
Filed under WLS | Comments (15)Friday Fun Facts
* I don’t type correctly. I use what I like to think of as an “advanced hunt and peck method.” It’s really just super fast hunting and pecking. Also: A lot of mistakes
* I haven’t heard back from my boss on whether or not I can have my old job back. That sound you hear? That’s me getting poorer by the second. Of course, if I stopped spending money like I still had a job, things might be better. But let’s just ignore that for now, shall we?
* I just finished the latest Stephanie Plum book. It was good, but it seemed to me that Janet Evanovich was trying a little too hard this time.
* I wanted to take Maddie to the Stock Show tomorrow, but it’s going to be 41 degrees. (It was in the 80s today.) Now I can’t think of anything else to do tomorrow instead. (Gerald’s going to be at a conference all day, so it’s just me and Maddie.)
* My insomnia had been terrible lately so I’ve taken @mbien the last couple of nights to try and reset my sleep cycle. I do the weirdest shit on @mbien. Last night I got up and used a lint roller on the sleep/eye mask thing before I put it on. (I had to put it on because I hallucinate something fierce on those pills. The lights from my alarm clock and baby monitor freak me the hell out.) In the past, I’ve also been known to sleep-eat while taking it. Thank goodness that hasn’t happened since my surgery… I could end up in serious trouble.
Filed under friday facts | Comments (6)Lame?
Is it lame to write a post about posts that need to be written? Well, lame happens to be my middle name. Only I spell it with a K.
1. I need to write my 6 month post-op post and take pics.
2. I need to write about potty training.
3. I need to write about maybe going back to work.
4. I need to write about the bunny we got.
5. I need to write about my new 3G phone and how much I want to marry it.
6. I need to write about my quest for freelance writing gigs.
7. I need to write about Maddie’s two year well child visit.
Instead of writing any of those posts, I’m wasting time writing nothing at all. Good time management skillz? I haz them!
Filed under daily | Comments (3)Whew!
Well, that was a helluva weekend. Saturday was Maddie’s second birthday, so we headed out to Portrait Innovations to have her pictures taken. She did really well during the photo shoot itself, but there was a bit of a meltdown afterward. Luckily, Gerald didn’t mind taking her out to the car while I selected way too many pictures too buy. Then, we took her out for lunch at Red Robin. The waitstaff gave her a birthday sundae and balloons and sang to her. She loved it, of course… especially the balloons. After her nap, we gave her her birthday presents from us and family members who had mailed them to her. The hit of the day was this that Gerald and I got her. Totally worth every single penny. Maddie is head over heels in love with Blue’s Clues. To the point that she’s all “Elmo who?” Unfortunately, Blue’s Clues is the least marketed show on Nickelodeon. It’s nearly impossible to find Blue’s merchandise. It’s all Dora and Diego and Sponge Bob. Bleh.
Her birthday party was on Sunday at one of those indoor bounce house places. She wasn’t having any of it at first, but she eventually warmed up to the idea, and by the end of her party she was chasing Tess’s daughter all through a bounce house and going down the slide with wild abandon. I’m really happy with our choice of venue. I think most, if not all, of the kids had a good time. I got a sandwich tray from our local grocery store and a Blue’s Clues cake from the evil Mart of Wal. It was surprisingly tasty and super cute.
I’ve got pics but am far too lazy to walk all the way to my bedroom to retrieve my camera and then walk all the way back here to my laptop. I’m exhausted just typing about all that walking.
Filed under maddie | Comments (6)Crock Pot Recipes
(I’m sorry for the late hour of this posting. My daughter was kind of an asshole grumpy today and I had to escape for six a few hours. But, nevertheless, here are the crock-pot recipes you sent me to share.)
From Mommy Daisy:
Chicken & Noodles
1 bag of wide egg noodles (homemade style ones are great)
1 large can of chicken (28 oz)
1 large can of chicken broth (might not need the whole can)
1. Cook the noodles in the broth according to directions. (Usually you boil the broth, then add the noodles for 10 minutes.)
2. Put the whole can of chicken and the noodles and broth into the crock pot.
3. Cook on low for a few hours (2-3). Or keep warm until you need them.
Tips: You could serve this without a crock pot (once the chicken is warm), but it’s easy to make ahead of time and cook it in the crock pot. Use less broth so it’s thicker, then serve over mashed potatoes. Or if you want more of a chicken soup, add more broth and throw in some carrots, celery, and onion. This recipe is a hit at potlucks.
From Saly:
Crock-Pot Pulled Pork
Here is my recipe for pulled pork. We like to eat it on hard rolls, as a sandwich, but it can serve as a main dish as well. I am guessing on the amounts because I kind of just throw it together, but here it goes anyway. It is one of our favorites!
1 2-3lb boneless pork roast
1/2 cup apple cider vinegar
1/4 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup ketchup
Heavy dash of salt
Heavy dash of pepper
Heavy dash of onion powder
Place roast in crock pot. In a small bowl mix all other ingredients. Pour over roast and cook on low for 6-8 hours. Before serving remove roast from crock and shred with 2 forks. Place shredded pork back in crock and stir in to sauce. Serve on rolls with barbeque sauce if desired. Makes about 12 sandwiches.
From Becky:
Vegetable Beef Soup
I always start this on a Friday or Saturday night, then have it ready for lunch the next day. There’s got to be a way to do it all in one day, but I’ve never bothered figuring it out.
1 package stew beef – already cut into cubes, or still on the bone short ribs, whatever’s available
Carrots
Celery
Onion
Barley
Beef Base
Other vegetables as you like – I use 1/2 package frozen chopped spinach, a handful of French cut green beans
1 can tomato sauce
Part One:
Put the meat, some carrots (I use about 6 baby carrots for this), the leaves from a couple celery stalks, and a chunk of onion in the crock pot and add enough water to cover by an inch or so.
If you’re using meat on the bone, leave it on the bone until it’s cooked – it will be much easier to remove then.
The vegetables you use in this part are going to be discarded, so don’t worry about slicing/dicing anything.
Cook on Low overnight – 6 to 8 hours
Part Two
Take the vegetables out of the broth & discard. De-bone the meat if necessary, and run the broth through a strainer. Put the meat & broth back into the crock pot.
Add fresh carrots, celery, and onion. This time you’ll need to slice & dice. I use baby carrots, about 15-20 of them, 3 stalks of celery, and about 1/3 of a medium onion.
When you add the carrots/celery/onion, also add about 1/3 cup barley and a couple tablespoons of beef base.
Cook on High until carrots are just about tender (3-4 hours).
Check after a couple hours and add more water if necessary. Taste the broth; if it’s too weak, add some more beef base and if it’s too strong add water.
In the last 30 minutes of cooking, add your extra veggies – spinach, green beans, etc. – and the can of tomato sauce
Nacho Cheesy Chicken **I’ve had this, personally prepared by Becky, and I can attest to it’s deliciousness! – Erica
1 – 1.5 pounds boneless skinless chicken breast
1 can Campbell’s Fiesta Nacho Cheese soup (if your store doesn’t carry it, they probably have a flavor called Southwest Pepper Jack, which is a suitable replacement)
1 can Rotel tomatoes
Put everything in the crock pot, and turn on low for 8 hours or so. Serve over rice.
Burritos
2-3 lbs roast (pot roast, chuck roast, something that will shred easily when it’s cooked)
1 or 2 cans Rotel tomatoes
Flour tortillas
8-12 oz. Muenster cheese, shredded or sliced
Cook the beef and tomatoes in the crock pot on low 8 hours.
Remove the beef and shred it, then place it back in the crock pot to soak up some juice.
Preheat oven to 350
Spray a baking pan/dish with non-stick cooking spray.
Take a bit of shredded beef (maybe 1/4 cup? whatever you can grab with your tongs) and place on a tortilla. Wrap into a burrito & place in the baking dish.
Top all burritos with cheese
Bake 20-25 minutes and serve.
From Cess:
Slow Cooker Chicken Taco Soup
1 onion, chopped
1 (16 ounce) can chili beans
1 (15 ounce) can black beans
1 (15 ounce) can whole kernel corn, drained
1 (8 ounce) can tomato sauce
1 (12 fluid ounce) can or bottle beer
2 (10 ounce) cans diced tomatoes with green chilies, undrained
1 (1.25 ounce) package taco seasoning
3 whole skinless, boneless chicken breasts
shredded Cheddar cheese (optional)
sour cream (optional)
crushed tortilla chips (optional)
1. Place the onion, chili beans, black beans, corn, tomato sauce, beer, and diced tomatoes in a slow cooker. Add taco seasoning, and stir to blend. Lay chicken breasts on top of the mixture, pressing down slightly until just covered by the other ingredients. Set slow cooker for low heat, cover, and cook for 5 hours.
2. Remove chicken breasts from the soup, and allow to cool long enough to be handled. Stir the shredded chicken back into the soup, and continue cooking for 2 hours. Serve topped with shredded Cheddar cheese, a dollop of sour cream, and crushed tortilla chips, if desired.
Slow Cooker Ropa Viejo
5 WW Points; Serves 12
1 1/2 cups fat-free reduced-sodium chicken broth
1/4 cup cider vinegar
1 Tbsp ground cumin
1 tsp mild paprika, preferably smoked paprika
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp freshly ground pepper
1/4 to 1/2 tsp cayenne pepper
Two 1 1/2-pound flank steaks, trimmed of all excess fat
2 medium red onions, thinly sliced into rings
2 large red bell peppers, seeded, cored and chopped
2 medium apples, peeled, cored and shredded through the holes of a box grater (I chopped the apples)
3 celery stalks, thinly sliced (omitted)
3 garlic cloves, minced
1/2 cup packed cilantro leaves, chopped
Whisk the broth, vinegar, cumin, paprika, salt, pepper and cayenne in a 5- or 6-quart slow cooker. Submerge the meat, then add the onions, bell peppers, apples, celery and garlic, making sure the vegetables are under, between, and over the steaks.
Cover and cook on low until the meat is fork-tender, about 8 hours.
Transfer the meat to a cutting board; set aside for 10 minutes. Shred the meat with two forks, pulling it into strands along the grain. Return to the slow cooker; stir in cilantro. Set the slow cooker on warm and serve within 4 hours.
From Donna:
Crock-Pot Roast
This is the only way I know to make pot roast, and I really like it.
Approximately 3 pound beef roast. I use whatever is cheap and
available. Kind of like me.
2 cups of ginger ale
1 packet of brown gravy mix
1 packet of onion soup mix
1/3 cup flour
Coat the roast on all sides with some of the flour, then add the remaining flour to a bowl. In the bowl, mix the gravy mix, soup mix and ginger ale. Whisk together. Put the roast in the crock pot and pour in the liquid. Cook on low for 6 to 8 hours. TA DA! If you wanted veggies in it, I’d throw them in with maybe an hour or less to go before you want to eat so they don’t get too mushy.
You could make mashed potatoes, but I usually roast some potatoes because I prefer them. Also very very good with dinner rolls. This recipe makes plenty of gravy for potatoes or rice or whatever you want to serve with it.
From Jana:
I got this off of someone’s blog (I don’t remember whose, though), so I can’t take credit for it. Super easy and makes the house smell wonderful all day.
Crock-Pot Pot Roast
1 2 lb. boneless chuck roast
2 large yellow onions, cut into wedges
7-8 large carrots, peeled and cut into thirds (or a small bag of baby carrots)
12-14 small red potatoes, scrubbed and cut into quarters
2 cans French onion soup
1 can tomato paste
3 tbsp oil
salt and pepper (more pepper than salt)
1. Salt and pepper both sides of roast. Heat oil in a large pan or Dutch oven. Brown roast over medium high heat for 3-5 minutes on each side.
2. While the roast is browning, whisk together soup and tomato paste in mixing bowl. Set aside.
3. Place roast in crock-pot. Place chopped vegetables around roast. Pour soup/tomato mixture over the meat and veggies.
4. Cook on high for 4 hours or on low for 8.
My changes: I serve it over rice since my hubby is Cajun and likes rice with everything. Also, since I’m already dirtying the Dutch oven, sometimes I just cook it all in the Dutch oven rather than putting it in a crock pot.
From Lady Godiva:
Meatballs
Hunts herb and garlic sauce
homemade meatballs….slightly frozen/frozen works best if it’s going to be a full/ long cooktime
on low a lotta hours
don’t make the meatballs with lots of fillers….the denser the better
these are the perfect meatballs for subs
p.e.r.f.e.c.t.
Not crock-pot recipe, but a lazy one.
2 bottles of your fav bbq sauce
one chicken parts cut up – ya know..where they five you 2 breasts and a bunch of other stuff and it’s ususally on sale.
covered pyrex dish
375 degrees
1 hour
the chicken is the most fantastic ever
it falls off the bone and you make a mess eating it
it’s awesome to pull the extra meat off and use for salads and tacos etc…..
veeeeeeeeeeeeeery tender and NOT dried out
From Me:
I, too, got this one from someone’s blog. I can’t remember who, so please forgive me for stealing the credit for it.
Cheesy Ranch Chicken
4 to 6 frozen boneless, skinless chicken breasts – I use 4 because that’s all we need, however, the recipe easily accommodates 6.
1 can cream of chicken soup
1 packet of Ranch seasoning
1 package of cream cheese (I use low-fat and it works just fine)
Put the frozen chicken breasts into the crock-pot and in a separate mixing bowl, add the soup, a half a soup can of water, ranch packet and cream cheese. (I don’t use the whole ranch packet because it tend to make for a really salty sauce. I use a little more than half and that seems to work better for me.) Mix together with a whisk. (The cream cheese mixes better when it’s softened, but it’s ok if it’s cold. The mix will be lumpy, but it smoothes out as it cooks.) Pour the mixture over the chicken and cook on high for four hours or on low for eight hours. I like to serve it over brown rice, but I bet it’s good with mashed potatoes, too.
Happy Eating!
Filed under recipes | Comments (5)Rocking the boat
Gerald and I are talking about perhaps maybe probably having another baby. Just ONE more baby. I have to be at least one year post-bypass, so clearly things are just in the “talking” and “thinking obsessively about it” stage.
Here are some of the things I’m obsessively thinking about:
1. The horror of Maddie’s birth.
2. The bedrest.
3. Maybe a VBAC this time?
4. Being skinny this go ’round and getting to wear adorable maternity clothes.
5. A little boy!
6. Sisters!
7. Why do I want to mess with a good thing? We’ve already gone through those crappy newborn/infant stages and we’re home free. Also, we’ve got our routines and things are great. I get plenty of “me” time AND sleep. Both of those things will be GONE with the addition of another baby.
8. If we do have another it will be the last one. Am I ready for the permanence of that?
9. A tiny baby sleeping on my chest again.
10. Money
11. However, if it’s another girl then we can reuse all of Maddie’s stuff.
12. How will I ever manage to cart two kids around with me everywhere? What am I? An octopus?
13. Can’t think over the chanting coming from my uterus. “BABY!! MUST HAVE BABY!”
14. I want Maddie to have sibling. Someone to conspire with. To stay up late giggling with. Someone who understands when she calls to bitch about her mother in 20 years.
15. I cannot possibly love another child as much as I love Maddie.
16. I can’t wait to see who we make this time!
Anyhow. Let’s discuss. Tell me everything you want to share about having another child. Are you glad you did? Glad you didn’t? Are you scared like I am? Is it worth it? Is it so hard that you cry and wonder why you did it? Do you light up with joy seeing your kids play together? Do you actually have more free time when they get older because they play together? Tell me everything.
Filed under family | Comments (24)
