Adult Swim

We’re off on our weekend of adults-only fun. After a week of Very Whiny and Anti-Napping Baby, I’m ready for a break.

I hope you all have a great long weeknd!

Fashion Crisis!

GAH! I’ve tried on six outfits for our trip to San Antonio and I cannot decide what to take.

I’m excited about fitting into clothes that I haven’t been able to wear for YEARS, so I think my perception is skewed. I feel thin and cute, but I’m NOT thin. So now I don’t know if I really look like an idiot or if I really do look cute.

Do those What Not To Wear bitches make house calls???

GRRR!

I’ve had my period THREE times since my surgery five weeks ago. I have an IUD and haven’t had a period since last November, and now I can’t STOP having them.

Also, did you know that hormones are stored in fat? So, as you burn stored fat those hormones are released back into your bloodstream. And if you’re losing A LOT of fat in a VERY SHORT TIME, you might be inundated with hormones.

Coincidentally, the phrase “Whatever. I hate all you muthahfuckahs anyway.” was heard coming out of my mouth this evening. And yes, I was talking about my husband and my kid.

Vacation, all I ever wanted.

We’re leaving on Thursday morning for a long weekend in beautiful, sweltering San Antonio. We’re barely slowing down and throwing the kid out of the car as we speed away toward freedom dropping Maddie off with my in-laws for the weekend and then heading to our conference. Part of me feels like a terrible mother for being excited about leaving my baby for so long, but the rest of me is just hella excited.

My in-laws are WONDERFUL and Maddie’s going to have a great time. She’s going to be spoiled and entertained and loved within an inch of her life. What do I have to be upset about, right? Gerald and I are going to sleep in, swim, go to the movies, and he’s going to drink a very lot of alcohol. And we’ll attend our conference in between all that. You know, if there’s time.

Speaking of awkward segues, I tried to get Maddie into preschool once or twice a week. Notice the verb “tried.” The 18 month class was already full, so we didn’t make it. She’s first on the waiting list, though, so I’m hoping someone drops out. I really want her to have a chance to play with other kids without me around. And I really want some time to myself. There are lots of things around the house I’d like to do without a wee bebe around. I need to finish the Grout Project of ’08 and paint my kitchen. Oh, and clean my carpet. You know, fun stuff like that.

My trip to NYC has turned into a trip to Orlando. We’ve gone from Broadway shows to lounging poolside and spa treatments. I’m not in the least bit disappointed. I just wish it was sooner than the middle of October. Have I told you who I’m going with? I’m going to meet Lady Godiva. You may have noticed a comment or two from her ’round these parts. We’ve been reading each other for four or five years and emailing almost as long. She’s wicked awesome and I can’t wait to meet her in person.

So tell me, if you could meet any blogger, who would it be? And where would you go together?

One Month Post-Op

I’m planning on taking pictures every month, sort of like reverse pregnancy documentation. I’ve put this month’s pics next to my pre-surgery pics so that you can compare. I’ve also started a Flickr album to document my progress.

Month One: 33 lbs lost, weight 267.
I’m wearing the same pants in both sets.

I’m feeling MUCH better now.

I’m FIXED!

Ok, not like spayed or whatever, but no longer miserable. I had a little problem and the gastroenterologist fixed it right up. The only thing bothering me now is a moderately sore throat. How wicked cool is that? I’m drinking fine and even ate some soup and a popsicle.

Anyhow. Tomorrow there will be month one pics and stats. Stayed tuned… you know you’re curious : )

The best laid plans…

It’s been one month since my surgery. I planned for my post today to be a comparison of photos and and to tell you how much weight I’ve lost.

However, I’ve been absolutely miserable since yesterday morning. I finally caved and called my surgeon’s office. I’m waiting to hear back, but I’m guessing that endoscopy is on the horizon for me. At this point, I don’t give a fuck what they need to do to me. Just as long as this nausea and pain stops.

“Easy way out” my ass.

“I’m not an ambi-turner.”

I have a question for all my pretty mom readers: At what age did your kid(s) pick a dominant hand? You know, lefty or righty?

Maddie’s 19 months old and still uses both hands indiscriminately. She switches from left to right and back again while eating, coloring, brushing her teeth, etc.

It’s not like it’s a big deal or anything, but I’m wondering if this is normal. Should she have picked one by now?

Also, milestone reached. She had her first bowl of cereal this morning.

Pity me muchly

I’ve spent the last month or so searching for a protein supplement that I can tolerate. I spent $60 on a sample pack so that I could try a bunch of them and decide what I liked. Um, I guess I was a little naive, because there’s really no such thing as “like” when it comes to protein supplements. It’s more of a “makes me want to hurl,” or “makes me want to hurl a little bit less.” Ok, that’s not entirely true. I did find some recipes for protein shakes on the internets and they were really good. Except every single one made me sick. “I wish I was dead” sick.

Being the very smart woman that I am, I decided to skip the drinks all together and go with a protein bar, instead. I’m a genius, right? Except, the bars made me sick, too.

I FINALLY found a supplement that I can not only tolerate, but that I really LIKE. And it’s $1,000,007. Ok, it’s $30 for 12, or about $100 a month. Seriously. Can you believe the extortion??? Oh, and that doesn’t include shipping… because you can only get it online. So not only was the surgery $45k, the upkeep is sky-high, too. SHEESH!

Randomocity

* I’m still having a lot of trouble with breakfasts. I wake up a little nauseous, so nothing really sounds good. And I have to avoid carbs, sugar, dairy and eggs. So what’s that leave? Meat. Not really my first breakfast choice, you know? I’ve been trying to have a protein bar for breakfast, but it seems hit or miss on the whole “violently ill” front. One day it’s fine, the next I want to die. No rhyme or reason.

* I have fallen in love with edamame. Steamed and salted. mmmmmmm! I’ve heard that Costco sells roasted edamame, so you can guess what’s on my list of things to do this week, right?

* My NYC trip is falling through. Who knew that city was so damned expensive? Ok, probably everyone, but STILL. We’re looking at where else to go. Never fear! A good time will be had by all, regardless of where we go.

* I got all my “skinny” clothes down from the attic this weekend. I certainly cannot fit into all of them, but that’s actually a good thing. I need smaller clothes to “grow into” as I lose more weight. Also, I’ve noticed a HUGE discrepancy in Lane Bryant’s sizes throughout the years. I can wear three different sizes in their stuff, depending on how old it is. LAME.

* Things have finally settled down for me, physically. I can take pills, drink comfortably, and I don’t have any pain at all. However, I’m still having some issues mentally. I’m trying to make my old life fit into my new life. I’ve pushed the boundaries with things I’ve eaten simply because I miss how things used to be. I feel so cuckhold by all these restrictions. What I really want is to be able to eat whatever I want and to still lose weight. Is that too much to ask?? GAH!