Humble Pie
If someone asked me to sum up parenthood in one word, I think I’d choose “humbling.” Today, that is. Other days I might choose “exhausting,” or “monotonous,” or “amazing,” or even “spectacular.” But, I think I feel humbled more so than anything else.
Maddie responds to the words “I love you,” by blowing a kiss back. She sees me after an absence (even just a trip to the bathroom) and responds with a very enthusiastic “HI!” I feel so loved when she does these things.
She has a large pink ball that she adores. You know, the big balls (heh heh) you can buy at the grocery store or Target. When I throw it back into her play yard for her, she runs to the ball and says “HI BAH!” and kisses it. She. kisses. her. ball. and I am immediately knocked down a peg. I remember that she really doesn’t understand the concept of love yet. She expresses affection the same way to everything that she likes.
Maddie says the following words in the correct context now: Ball (bah), Mimi (her favorite book is called Sweet Dreams, Mimi), Meow (neyow), Dada, Tickle (ticka ticka ticka), Nina (neh-nah) and Hi. What word is missing from this list? Oh, yes, it’s “mama.” When I go into her room first thing in the morning she says “Hi Neh-Neh!” Um, excuse me, but who is this Neh-Neh? Because my name is Mama. Again, I’m served a great big slice of humble pie.
At first, my feelings were hurt by her refusal to call me mama. She says the words for the things she likes a whole lot and I decided that meant she didn’t like me enough to call me mama. I know that’s asinine, but that’s how I felt. Now, I realize that’s not the case at all, but it still twinges when I hear her say “Hi Dada!”
K. said Mama first, but when she learned Dada she completely stopped saying Mama. Soon after she started calling my MIL “Mama”, which REALLY hurt my feelings. She made up for it by calling me Mommy (AWW).
But now… I hear “Mommy, Mommy, MOMMY!!!” ALL DAY LONG.
Crap! I got the word verification wrong, and it doesn’t let you retry without deleting your whole comment! BOO!
Anyway, I was just going to say that lots of kids seem to do the “dada” thing first, or switch back and forth using only one exclusively.
As I said before, neither of my kids said mama first either; it’s because they repeat what WE say first, typically, and we don’t name ourselves, we’re not going around saying “Mama, mama”. But we do say, “Daddy’s coming home! Oh look,. there’s Daddy! Look at Daddy! What’s Daddy doing! Silly Daddy!” etc.
So get Gerald to name you more often; I’m sure he already does but maybe do it more. “There’s Mommy! What’s Mommy doing!? Mommy! Come here, Mommy!” etc. etc.
Ray’s first word was kitty, probably because I was calling the cats back then with standing in the backyard screaming “kitty kitty kitty”. You know. They repeat what they hear the most and what is easiest to say.
As you already know, I am about to change my name from Mommy to Broomhilda because now that Parker can say Mommy, it is all she says. I get what you’re saying, though, i really do. But my wishes to hear Mommy (after Dada was so easy) really bit me in the ass.
I read lots of blogs in which the mother has expressed the same feelings over the lack of “Mama” or “Mommy”. It seems you are not alone!
My daughter has always been quite 50/50 with “mama” and “dada/daddy”, but one of her first regular words was “dada”. All the damn time.
I cannot get over how good your blog looks. Seriously, cannot. It’s so nice.
Also, this post reminds me of some of Sundry’s old posts about Riley preferring his dad. It always feels worse from the inside, I think.
a few nights ago i had a discussion with my three year old that involved him telling me that his daycare provider was his mommy too.
my love boff my mommies.
he said.
you are my tummy mommy
he said.
my love you.
he said.
i try to remind myslef that there is always more than enough love to go around.
and that i am darn lucky my son has this wonderful woman in his life when i can not be there.
but all of that doesn’t stop me from occasionally plot her wretched demise
so i can be his only beloved mommy.
sigh.
ACK! The same thing Tessie mentions above just happened to me. I had a long, brilliantly funny comment written too, fuck it.
J says “mommy” just fine BUT she calls EVERY man she sees “Daddy.” This is starting to affect my reputation. So far the AC repairman, the plumber, the plumber’s son and T’s piano teacher have all been called “Daddy.” Though I think I’d be perfectly fine with the plumber’s son or T’s piano teacher. They are hot young thangs. We’ll just ignore the whole they’re at least 10 years younger than I am thing.
The blog looks soooo good. I love the colors and clean layout. Love.
A.’s niece keeps calling his mom “Gampa” and it is pissing her off to no end.
You are not alone, my dear.
Also, you are raising an affectionate daughter who isn’t afraid to dive right in and love life. That is pretty awesome!
She’s starting to say more things, so Mama won’t be far behind. I love the kisses thing. SO cute!…even if she does it to the ball too.
I think it’s like how they don’t say, “Hello, oxygen!”