Stop The Presses!

My oldest and dearest friend, Becky, has started a blog! Stop by and make her feel welcome, pls? kthnx!

Fun Fact Friday

With so many of us doing the FFF thing, I’m feeling the pressure to come up with interesting/hysterical facts. Problem is, I’m really not that interesting/hysterical. Maybe I should start posting Fun Made Up Shit Fridays.

* I don’t know how to not be sarcastic. Really. Half All the time I do it, I don’t even know it. It’s like breathing. I’m sure people refer to me as “that sarcastic bitch” behind my back. Or perhaps they leave out the “sarcastic” part. Whatev. It’s not like I care.

* I actually enjoy watching Sesame Street with Maddie.

* I have this thing where I can’t help but laugh if I see someone fall. I know! It’s horrible! I had a friend fall and almost break his ankle and the whole time I’m trying to help him, I’m laughing my ass off. Ok, granted, he was drunk and fell off a bar-stool, but STILL. I laugh at my daughter when she falls. How terrible is that?

* I refuse to rubber-neck when I’m driving. If there’s an accident or a car pulled over, I intentionally don’t look. I HATE being delayed because there’s an accident on the OTHER SIDE of the highway, but the people on my side have to slow way the hell down to gawk. GAH!

* I’m a picker. If there’s a sticker on something, I HAVE to pick it off. Gerald was working on a project last weekend and he had to peel some protective film off of some sheets of acrylic. Afterward, he told me that he was tired of doing it and thought to himself “I should have had Erica do this. She loves this kind of thing.” I was crushed that he didn’t ask me to do it.

* When I was a kid I stole my neighbor’s stack of Garbage Pail Kid cards. I wanted them and my parents wouldn’t buy them for me, so I took them. WTF was wrong with me?

* Yesterday while I was at the salon getting my hair cut, a mother and her little girl came in. The girl looked to be about seven, maybe. Anyhow, she was decked out in FULL MAKE-UP. Apparently, she had some sort of dance recital that afternoon. The other women in the salon were gushing over how pretty and grown up she looked and it took every ounce of restraint I had not to say something negative. I wanted to ask why they were reinforcing the fact that she’s prettier with make-up. Or why they thought it was appropriate for a seven year old to be wearing make up in the first place. Like she couldn’t dance without sparkly pink eyeshadow? What’s wrong with letting little girls be little girls? They aren’t miniature women. Dude, my kid is totally going to hate me when she gets older.

* I’m addicted to celebrity gossip websites. Although, I’m about fed up of those Hills girls being EVERYWHERE. Who the hell are they and why do I care who’s friends with whom?

* I wish I could play the mandolin. The only instrument I can play is the clarinet. Arguably, not the coolest instrument in the world.

* I don’t like reality TV shows. Ok, that’s not entirely true. I like reality shows about tattoo parlors. Otherwise, I don’t watch them at all. I’m a bit out of the loop when people start talking American Idol, or So You Think You Can Dance, or Survivor. It all goes right over my head. But you know what, I’m totally ok with that.

Unfortunate Milestone Reached

Maddie can open doors, now. We have those lever door handles and she’s just tall enough to grab them if she stands on her tiptoes and really reaches. I actually had to put a childproof thingy on the INSIDE of the door in her room. When we go in there to play, I close the door and she does her thing. But now that she can open the door, she just sort of wanders out whenever she feels like it. Usually, she makes a beeline straight for the dogs’ food or water. Not cool at all.

Also, she does say “HI!” in the correct context now. And very sweetly, I might add. So, that’s a mark in the “plus” column.

Coolest music video EVAR

The mathematics of parenthood

6:15am wake up + six hours in the car + (-nap) + two hour bedtime delay = NO FUN AT ALL

Fun Fact Friday: The Nostalgia Edition

* I had my first kiss in the seventh grade at a dance. We were dancing to Bad English “When I see you smile.” Before the actual kiss, my boyfriend had his best friend come up and ask me what I’d do if he (my boyfriend) kissed me. My answer was, “Um, kiss him back?” This is the same boyfriend I went to homecoming with and did illegal things with in the Cleveland Metroparks system.

* My first car was a 1985 Ford Tempo. This was in 1992. I went to high school in a relatively snooty suburb of St. Louis and I routinely parked my Tempo in between Jags and BMWs.

* My first job was working at the florist across the street from my high school. I worked every day after school and on Saturdays. It was my job to run the register, take phone orders and make balloon bouquets. I made $5.00/hr and thought I was RICH. I loved it.

* I went to the senior prom with a girl. As my date.

* My fourth grade teacher, Mrs. Moore, was in a wheelchair. The rumor was that her son shot her in the back, but I doubt that’s true. She was a fantastic teacher. While in her class, we watched The Challenger launch on TV. I remember not understanding what happened and wondering why Mrs. Moore and Mrs. Roberts (the fifth grade teacher in the room next door) were crying.

* My mom and I used to watch The Muppet Show every Sunday night on our black and white TV.

* I had two parakeets when I was little. A turquoise one named “Crystal” after the character from Dallas, and a green and yellow one named “Henry.” One day, Henry pecked Crystal to death and I was so upset I made my mom give him away.

* My friends and I used to put our boom boxes in the driveway of one of our houses and dance for hours. We thought we were SO COOL. We danced to Madonna, Sheena Easton and Lisa Lisa and the Cult Jam. Oooh, and Janet Jackson. Ah, good times.

* My favorite New Kid was Joey.

* My sister “taught” me how to swim one summer while we were visiting our biological father in Houston. I think I was seven at the time. She threw me into the deep end of the pool, at night, and said, “Swim or die! Jason’s gonna get you!” Needless to say, I swam for my frickin’ life.

I’ve been waiting 16 months to do this:

Random Randomness

Why are there coffee flavored coffee creamers? Marshmallow mocha, tiramisu, white chocolate mudslide…. does that seem a bit superfluous to anyone else? I will say that I’ve bought and used every one of those flavors. I’m pretty sure that says something not very complimentary about me, but let’s just pretend otherwise, k?

I ended up not getting anything at all from Sephora. Instead, I bought two conversation chairs, a side table and a canopy for our backyard. Maddie loves to play outside, and seeing as it’s already 95 degrees everyday, I figure we ought to be as comfy as can be.

Maddie talked on the phone for the first time yesterday. I picked up the phone to call our vet’s office and she saw me and said “Hi Dada!” Of course, I immediately called Gerald so that she could talk to him. After much prompting, she said it to him. Twice. How cool is that?? Please also note that she still DOES NOT call me “mama.” Not that I’m bitter or anything.

I think I’m having a friggin’ heart attack!

Hypothetically For real speaking, if you had $100 to spend at, I dunno, let’s say, this place? What would you get? Leave me a comment and tell me what product(s) you’d put into your cart. Because I am so psyched about getting to spend $100 on GIRLY STUFF that I can’t even form a coherent thought, much less decide what to buy.

P.S. I already use, and love, Bare Minerals, so don’t suggest that stuff. kthxbai!

Another post about HAIR!

But it’s not about MY hair this time. Oh don’t worry, I’m sure there will be many more posts written about my hair over the life of this blog.

So, let’s talk about The Toddler Mullet (TTM). Maddie is sporting a serious case of TTM and I’m not sure what to do about it. My original plan was to let her hair grow long. I had visions of pigtails and french braids dancing in my head the minute I knew I was pregnant with a girl. Unfortunately, Maddie was a baldy. She only really got hair around her first birthday. It’s long enough now that I can put some cute tiny pigtails on her, but she hates them. She hates anything in her hair or having anything done to it.

I figure I could keep trying and eventually she might accept a hairdo, or I could just go with the flow and give up the long hair idea. A little girl with a bob is adorable, after all. If I go with the shorter ‘do, then it’s time to get rid of TTM. How old were your kids when you got their hair cut for the first time? Did you take them to a kid’s salon or do it yourself? Was it traumatic for anyone involved? SPILL! I need details, people.