I don’t always look like this. Really.
Our house is the first house on the street and in the neighborhood. We’re like the ambassadors for the whole development. Only we’re recluses and yell at children to GET OFF THE LAWN!
Anyhow, being the first house means that one side of our fencing is the brick “neighborhood” fence. Which is cool, because if a car goes off the road, there’s a good chance the brick fence will stop it before they crash into Maddie’s room. Safety First! That’s our motto. Well, one of the columns in the brick wall is crumbling and missing some bricks. It’s been that way since our house was built almost four years ago. It’s not as trashy as it sounds, really. It’s not bad at all, in my opinion.
Apparently, our HOA feels differently. This morning, the president of the HOA and his minions were skulking in my yard. Only, I didn’t know who they were. (Hello! Recluses, remember?) So, I opened the door and was all “Can I help you with something?” Meanwhile, I’m in my old lady robe, slippers and sporting a serious case of bedhead. The HOA guy comes over to get a close up view of the gloriousness that is me to tell me that they’re getting bids on repairing the wall and someone (??) told him that we had the extra bricks for the wall in our backyard.
WTF?
Like we just have a pile of bricks in our backyard? And they’ve been there for four years? Just waiting for someone to come along and fix the effing wall? WHATEV. We totally keep the bricks in the spare room. We’re building a fort with them.
So, I told him they were welcome to check out the backyard in search of the bricks we’re apparently hoarding. He declined. Probably he was a little frightened at that point. Did I mention the robe and the bedhead? How about the bralessness? No? Well, there was bralessness, too. As he left, I had to struggle to keep from shouting, “HEY! I don’t normally look like this! Well, every morning, sure. But not if I’m seeing people. Well, people other than the people I live with. So, come back later and I’ll totally be ready and sort of cute, k?”
Filed under: daily on April 15th, 2008
WEIRD. Just buy new bricks! The old ones obviously weren’t that sturdy anyway, HOA dude!
I don’t really GET robes. Do you wear them OVER your pajamas and isn’t that HOT? Or do you wear them over NOTHING and isn’t that COLD?
I have a “regular” robe that I wear when I’m cold. But, my old lady robe is my “every day” robe. It’s short-sleeved and ankle length with a zipper up the front. I don’t wear jammies under it. It’s like a giant night shirt with a zipper and pockets.
This is a good story! I love that you went out and asked. I would have totally either sent my husband or hide in the back room until they were gone. Ah total recluse as well. My husband chatters with all the neighbors meanwhile I hide in the garage or the house trying to pretend I do not exist! LOL!
She’s a brick…
HOUSE!
She’s mighty mighty…
Next time come out with a beer and a cigarette, and drop your cigarette butt into the beer bottle.
You totally should have shouted that! “HEY! I don’t normally look like this! Well, every morning, sure. But not if I’m seeing people. Well, people other than the people I live with. So, come back later and I’ll totally be ready and sort of cute, k?”
I’m with Christina. I would have closed all the blinds, locked all the doors, turned out the lights and hidden until they were gone.
Swistle - I save that for when the Mormons come a’knockin.
haha!
I like whoever Swistle is-their idea is totally cool! For an even better effect have a huge bow in your hair off to the side–oh too funny….
What patience, I would have been miffed if they accused me of keeping useless bricks in my backyard. You should have said “I’m savin’ ‘em for my well back here ya’ll! Gonna pump my own water!” LOL!!!
I think you should have just stood on the porch with your shot gun.
I don’t think they would have been worried about them bricks after that.
Funny story though!
HUGS!
grace
Nice. So, you think I:
smoke
drink beer at 9:00 in the morning
pump my own water
have a shotgun
Perhaps I don’t correctly portray myself on this blog…
I have never lived anywhere with a HOA, but I unerstand that they can be ummmm, interesting people.
Your comment about the smoking, beer, shotgun, etc makes me think of a fun experiment. Perhaps one morning I will attempt to see how the other half lives. Except, I don’t have a shotgun. Oh well. It’s St. Louis - surely I can find one…