Your mileage may vary
I was talking to my best friend last night. Her son is four weeks older than Maddie and we were comparing notes. Her son can already say “Mama, Dada, Bubba (brother) Papa and backpack.” And, he’s walking. I was all: “Wow! He’s really blown Maddie away!” But inside, I was all: What’s wrong with my kid??
Maddie took her first hesitant, unaided steps two days ago. It has yet to be repeated. She also only says “Mama” with any regularity and correctness. I was feeling perfectly fine with these things until I talked to H. Now, I feel like there’s something wrong with my kid.
How messed up is that? Maddie isn’t Cohen. Why in the world should I expect that Maddie would develop at the exact same rate he does? Why does it matter? Maddie does things at her own speed. It’s not a race or a competition. Why did I let it get to me? That’s so dumb.
Today, I’m back to my old self. I’m ok with Maddie’s development. She’s right on track for her. Not for anyone else. She’s my perfect little girl.
I remember going to some dumb parenting board for AD’s age group when she was about a year old (WHY?), and there was a post there titled “STILL not walking?”. THE KIDS WERE NOT EVEN A YEAR OLD! ARGG! Not walking is totally normal. I was so irritated, I never went back.
Of course, I just read a post by someone with a kid AD’s age who is using utensils already, and I got all panicky. SIGH.
Why do we do this? I think everyone does though. We feel the need to compare and size up our kids with other kids. I find myself doing the same thing, even though I try really hard not to. Very tough. Part of this mommy thing, I guess.
Tessie - But your kid spits ice at strangers. Fuck utensils.
Daisy - I agree that it must be part of the mom thing. But it still stinks.
oh I hear you on this one. I had a friend who got pregnant immediately (like FOUR weeks) after I did and everything from pregnancy to the kids learning to talk felt like a competition. I fueled this for a while but I am over it. It was dumb to be that way…
BUT I was very perplexed when her spouse commented to me that “they were jealous that Matthew started walking so early while their daughter did not…” I was like this IS NOT A COMPETITION. WHO CARES!??! ARGGGGGG… It was maddening. It felt like they rubbed it in our faces when their daughter started talking sooner and I think I was overtly sensitive by that time… and acutely aware of their feelings after that comment SO that sucked for a long time.
I just ignore it now and try not to let myself compare but it is hard. You want what it best for your kids and there is competitive edge to raising kids these days that I am not sure was there when our parents were parenting. It creates this weird dynamic that I refuse to be party to. There is no comparison and kids this age just develop differently as they should.
Sigh. I am glad you are able to feel back to normal so quickly! Good for you!!!
It’s hard not to feel that way. Dan’s mom must’ve been beside herself when he was little because he didn’t start talking until 15 months or something. Now he won’t shut up (LOL!). And my oldest brother didn’t start walking until 16 months or so; mostly (I think) because he was spoiled rotten and my mom carried him everywhere; he didn’t see any reason to walk. heh.
Anyway, good for you for remembering how everyone develops at their own pace. But it is hard not to compare, I hear ya on that!
Don’t feel Maddie’s behind at all. Every baby is different; I’ve heard one mom here at work saying her little one is practically bungee jumping-and this child isn’t even one! Well we all know that’s a little overboard right?….
Joey, our smaller twin, started walking by himself about 1 1/2 months ago [at 12 1/2 mos. old]; he also crawled first go figure! Dougie has just now started walking by himself at almost 14 mos. old. They both learn things at different times and that is just fine by us, all babies are different and stressing about your Maddie is-I think-a typical mommy worry.
It’s SO HARD not to compare. SO hard.
But you’re right. She’s fine and she’s doing things perfectly on schedule for her, just like all kids do.
Good for you for not getting all caught up in it.
So, since I didn’t walk until I was 16 months, does that make me behind?
In reality, it’s hard not to compare, but if we just think about how UNimportant it is when we get older….heh, it really doesn’t matter at all.
Of course, being healthy and happy…those matter the most!
HUGS!
grace
Oh those blue eyes! She IS perfect :o)
Mine was slow to walk too, and I still get the unnerving sense that she’s not doing what 99% of other mothers claim THEIR 17 month olds are doing, like say oh, reading verses from the Bible and constructing model townhouses or something.
Still, I think my daughter is pretty cool.
…and, so is yours, which I forgot to add because I am dumb.