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Some semblance of order
December 4th, 2007
Historically, Maddie has been an Excellent Sleeper and I am one spoiled mofo. But when sleeping goes awry, I’m a wreck. It consumes my every thought. How do I fix it?? What did I do wrong? OMG, what if it stays this way FOREVER?????
Lately, napping has been broken. Maddie will go down for a nap just fine, but 30 or 40 minutes later, she wakes up screaming. This is the girl who routinely takes 2.5 hour naps, so this isn’t normal. I thought maybe she was just getting older and didn’t need as long to nap, but, we quickly noticed a change in her temperament, too. She was whiny and cranky and sleepy all the time.
So, I’ve started a more regimented schedule for her. I used to be pretty lax about everything. She went to bed sometime between 6:30 and 7:30 and woke up whenever she wanted to. I put her down for naps when I noticed she was tired. Now, bedtime is the same, but I’m getting her up at 7:30 every morning. Naptimes are at 10:00 and 3:00. I’m hoping more structure will help her settle in. Now, I’m not being all Nazi about it, so don’t get huffy. If she’s tired before naptime, then, she goes down. If we have something to do and she’s up past her bedtime, it’s ok. But, when it’s just the two of us, chillaxin’ at home, then I’m trying to stick to the schedule.
(The one thing I haven’t scheduled is meal times. Maddie eats when she’s hungry. She still sleeps 12 hours a night, so it’s important that she eats enough during the day.)
Tell me, do you have a schedule for your kids? Or, do you let them tell you when it’s time for things? Does it work for you?
test Filed under daily, maddie | Comments (18)18 Responses to “Some semblance of order”
I pretty much let the baby dictate her own schedule, though I sometimes have to wake her early or keep her up because of things with the other kids.
Luckily, it’s just us, so I can pretty much let Maddie set her own pace.
I do pretty much what you just described. I’ve always had a loose schedule. We do have a set bedtime, but that can change if we’re out later or not at home. He gets up when he wants (not too early though). Then he naps sometime after lunch. Today it was later, because he got up later. That seems to work great for us.
I’m looking forward to the days of one nap instead of two, or even three. It seems like I have to arrange everything around those darned naps!
we tried to be lax and it didn’t work. O needed structure and lots of it. He will not ever get hungry if you don’t schedule a meal. He would seriously not notice if we didn’t feed him all day.
Maddie would happily play all day with short breaks for eating.
I am totally huffy over here. Heh. I love that word.
We definitely have a loose schedule (I guess I like the word “routine” better), but that’s partially a function of the work/daycare thing. She almost always goes to bed between 7 and 7:15 though.
I get bummed when people beat themselves up about the kids not sleeping, because it seems like its hardly ever something YOU did wrong.
Get over your huffy self, sister. : )
See above comment about the experts putting The Fear into me. I swear, with my next pregnancy (that will probably never happen), it will be so nice to sit back and enjoy the ride. No books to read, no Internets to scour for information. No CONSTANT FEAR.
We don’t have a schedule, but the kids eventually seem to fall into one on their own. Whatever works, that’s what’s golden!
If left to her own devices, Maddie would play all day, nap for 10 minutes, eat and then play all night. She’s a mess.
I found out we work better the more we try to stick to a schedule. She naps about 1 pm, we start bathtime at 6:30, in bed by 7-ish, she wakes up whenever she wants. I think it helps her know what is coming up and what’s expected, but like you, if we have to be flexible, we do what we have to do. I, too, have been lucky about the sleeping thing and in ways I think it makes it more sucky when something goes awry.
I agree that it makes it more sucky when you’re blessed with a good sleeper, or eater or good whatever.
I think routines work well for most adults and kids. Not all of them, I’m sure.
I even more than huffy – I totally have my knickers in knot!!!
I can honestly say the reason my son has trouble going to sleep at night is our fault. We totally let him push the limits all the time and did not establish a routine thus letting him get away with going to bed when HE was ready rather than when we were ready. This totally sucks now that he 2.5 years old.
His routine for napping was established by a nanny and daycare – if I had been in charge of that would be in deep shit. I think routine is the key to everything for little ones. I know it is hard to stick to it(especially when you have things to do, etc…) but it does work (or least I am a firm believer in it now.) It is fairly evident in that we have friends with kids who are similar in age and these kids did have parents who were Nazis about napping/going to sleep at certain times and they do not have near as much trouble as we have had.
Whoa shutting up, stepping off soap box. BYE!
So, it’s either whining or soap boxing with you, huh? ; )
I read all those so-called “experts” books that said that one little slip-up on your part will mean a lifetime of sleepless nights for your kid. Talk about pressure! I think that’s why I get so nervous about Sleep Issues.
We have had a pretty standard schedule, or, er, “routine,” since 2 months old. It was born out of necessity, because she started day care at 9 weeks and mommy and daddy switched off other days, so we each had to know what to expect. We adjust it as her needs change, which she generally tells us by not sleeping well any more, or showing signs of being tired when she “should” be awake.
I forget how old your kiddo is, but the cranky sleep thing could either mean she’s not getting enough sleep, or else she’s ready to consolidate naps – from 3 to 2 around 6 months I think, and then 2 to 1 after a year. It could also mean she’s getting sick, or teething, or having a growth spurt, at which point it’ll be over in a few days anyway.
Also around 2 I hear it’s useful to warn them that a change is coming – eg, tell your daughter that she’s going to have a nap time 10 minutes before you do the nap routine.
She’s 10.5 months, so I’m pretty sure it’s teething. Teething messes up EVERYTHING.
I had my son on a schedule. Like you there were no set meal times, he ate when he was hungry. We had lot of nap/bedtime issues. Then he grew up. He want to bed in the wee hours of the morning. After school he came home and napped. Then another late night of studying and playing! Then he left for college and I don’t know anything about his schedule except it is 3 hours behind mine.
Point is, they do outgrow it, and somehow manage to survive. My son is a night owl and apparently was at a very young age.
It’s Maddie’s first Christmas, right? Enjoy!
Huggs
Theresa
I am alllll about the schedule. Zoe’s bedtime has always been set, she wakes up when she wants (which is usually a little too early) and has just transitioned to one nap a day. I didn’t set her meals until she was a year but I feel like that helped with napping. She knows exactly what was going to happen when.
I agree with the teething (THE source of all evils, real and imagined, in our house) and growth spurt ideas.
A little of both: We let our boys tell us when it’s time to eat but when they give little signs they’re tired, we put them down for a nap. It works well for us all-they have a pretty set schedule of naps at 9 and 1 then a regular eating schedule–breakfast, brunch, lunch, linner and dinner (and sometimes a midnight slurp of warm milk if they wake up).
Believe me it’s just easier for us to be lax and also have a schedule just ’cause if they took naps @ different times we’d NEVER get a moments’ rest. Bed time is ALWAYS between 6:30 and 7:30 though, no slacking there!
Whatever works best for you and Maddie, if she’s cranky take a nap with her; if she’s hungry eat with her. I think they learn from us so if they see us eating, brushing our teeth, getting dressed and having a schedule then they might think “Hmm, that looks fun!”.
Eventually the infant-style two naps a day (one in the morning and one in the afternoon) became a toddler-style one nap a day; going down between 12 or 1pm through 2 or 3pm. And a fairly early bedtime (6, or 7 or so) that got a little later bit by bit the older they got.
TA-DA! That’s all I got.
Oooh, pretty new background.
I base a schedule on what they seem to work toward. So, with a new baby, there’s a time of just playing it by ear. But then I think, “Hmmm, he is ALWAYS FUSSY at 4:00 and needs a catnap then.” And then I think, “Hmmm, he seems to get fussy about 2 hours after he wakes up in the morning”–and I start putting him down for a nap then. And pretty soon we have a schedule–but one that naturally evolved, not one that I decided on.
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