Under Pressure
In taking a week’s hiatus, I released pressure that I didn’t even realize was built up inside of me. I feel this intense pressure to post something meaningful. Wickedly funny. Life-changing in some way. I want to touch people the way I’ve been touched by other’s posts. I want the readers, and comments, of Swistle, Linda, and Beth. I want to wow you with my brilliance. I want to prove that my blog is worth reading.
I think we can all agree that first of all, this is far too much pressure for an effing blog. Secondly, I am not Swistle, Linda or Beth. And thirdly, (Thirdly?! Did I really just use that in a sentence?) the above mentioned crap is not why I started blogging. I thought a lot about that this week. Every time I started thinking “this would make a GREAT post!” I just let it go. I lived in the moment and stopped trying to be cooler than I am.
So, I’m back and ready to be my regular old self again. I’ve found my joie de vivre and if you happen to stop by and want to read about it, great. And if not, that’s great, too. No pressure.
Filed under daily | Comments (12)Missing: Joie De Vivre
I seem to have lost my spark lately. I’m just going through the motions of day to day life. I think it’s because I don’t have any ambition right now. I’m used to being at The Workplace and always working toward something. Now? Now I just live. It’s kind of difficult, really. I don’t have goals beyond keeping my house clean, dinner made and Maddie taken care of. I need something more.
The problem is, I don’t know what to do about it. There are lots of things I’ve wanted to try… graphic design, professional writing, crafty-type stuff… but I can’t seem to get excited about anything. I try it for a while and then, bleh. I’m done. I feel like there’s this perfect thing out there for me, if I can only find it, you know?
There’s also the matter of free time. I work when Maddie’s asleep, most of the time, so when am I supposed to do something for myself?
Anyhow, all this was to say that I’m taking a little blog vacay. I’m no good when I’m mopey and full of self-pity. So, let’s meet back here in a week or so and pick up where we left off.
Filed under daily | Comments (8)People Suck
When I casually mentioned that my dogs were available for adoption, I wasn’t being casual at all. They are, in fact, available. I’ve been actively trying to find them a new home for over a week now. Let me explain why. Not that I feel the need to justify it to you or anything. I just want to you know my motivation.
We got them as puppies from one of my best friends. (Hi Angela!) I had never had a puppy in my whole life and they were so cute that I wanted two. One for me and one for my husband. <insert foreboding music here> I don’t know if any of you have ever had a Lab puppy, but let me tell you they are the worst puppies in the world. The chew, they dig… in short, they are destructive and evil. We went through a very rough first two years with them and I regretted my decision to get them more times that I can even count.
However, when they reached the ripe old age of two, things settled down. There was hardly any destruction anymore and they turned into pretty good dogs. I liked having them around. However, when Maddie was born, I instantly hated them. I hate the sounds they make, the fur they shed, the way they always want my attention. When I’m on the floor playing with her, they have to be shut outside or they try to get in the middle of everything. I know they just want to play, but they can really hurt Maddie without meaning to.
When Sam got underfoot (a normal, every-second-of-the-day-occurrence) and I fell with Maddie, that was the last straw. They had to go. They are too big and too high-maintenance for me. I’m not giving them the love, attention and exercise that they need. It’s not their fault. They deserve someone who wants to throw the ball for them. Someone who wants to snuggle them and shower them with affection. That person is not me.
So, I wrote up some ads and placed them on a couple of websites. I got a lot of email responses, which surprised me. What surprised me even more, was how much people suck. People said they wanted to meet the dogs. They’d call to schedule, they said. They’d email, they said. Did they? No. They totally blew me off over and over. What’s so hard about saying “You know, these dogs aren’t for me. Thanks, though.” Why blow me off? We even had a lady bring her eight year old son to see Sam. She said they loved him and wanted him and she’d be in touch. I actually believed her. I even told people who emailed that he was spoken for. Two days later, I still hadn’t heard from her, so I email. Guess what? They don’t want Sam. So sorry about that.
So, here I am. Stuck with two dogs that really need another home and no faith left in the human race.
Filed under daily | Comments (8)Minimum Security
Thanks to Swistle’s advice, we got Maddie a play yard. She loves the freedom and I love not having to rescue her from potentially life-threatening situations every 4.6567562334 seconds.
In case you’re wondering just how low it’s possible to sink…
Whilst taking a shower this morning, I actually thought to myself, “Hmm, I wonder if I’ll weigh less at WW tonight if I shave my legs?”
I figured the answer was “no,” so I didn’t. So, now I’m fat and hairy.
Don’tcha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?
Filed under daily, WLS | Comments (7)Do Not Want
Thank you all for your condolences, concerns and kindness. (I like alliteration. Sue me.) Maddie is doing just fine, thankyouverymuch. In fact, she’s been great to be around the last two days. I think I finally showed her who’s boss around here.
Whatever. Her top two teeth finally broke through. I’m amazed at how teething affects EVERYTHING. Eating, sleeping, whining. Everything was crap until those suckers popped through. Now? Sanity is once again restored. Well, a working beta version of sanity, at least.
A new and disturbing development, however. Maddie now gives me the brush off. I tried to smooch her today after buckling her into her car seat and she turned her head away with a pissy attitude. I asked if she was going to kiss me and she turned her head away, again, and gave me crocodile tears. The nerve! Then, while we were playing in her room, I gave her a hug and she PUSHED ME AWAY. Um, excuse me…. wtf do you think you’re doing, little girl? It’s ok for you to whine and beg me to pick you up, but I’d better just keep my distance once I’ve rescued you from whatever torturous situation you find yourself in? I’m feeling a little used, here, chicky.
When we play, she really only wants me to be right there. I’m not allowed to have any toys or interact with her. But if I try and let her play by herself, then there’s the whining and crying and “mama!”
Whatever. I’m so over you.
Ok, I’m not over you. I’m just trying to be all tough because I already miss my baby. Who’s this girl with attitude and opinions? Do Not Want.
PS – I bought the Bare Minerals today – LOVE
Filed under daily, maddie | Comments (5)Maddie’s First Halloween: Officially Ruined
I had expected to post this morning and share pictures of Maddie in her costume and regale you with tales of our candy-passing-out adventures. Instead, I get to tell you about our trip to the emergency room.
Around 5:00 or so, I was carrying Maddie through the kitchen and one of my horses dogs got underfoot and tripped me. I fell forward onto the ceramic tile while holding Maddie. It happened too fast for me to turn around so that she landed on top of me. And it happened so slow that I saw every horrifying moment with vivid clarity. I landed on my knee and Maddie landed on her face. Her forehead and chin, specifically.
I was absolutely hysterical. I’m pretty sure I scared her worse than she would have been otherwise. We finally calmed down enough to assess the situation. Maddie threw up after the fall, so I was concerned about concussion. Gerald and I took her to the ER and we were in and out in a hour. (Thank you, Baylor!) They said she was fine and sent us home with instructions to wake her a couple of times during the night and to give her Tylenol or Ibuprofen.
We made it home by about 7:15 and I was able to pass out a little candy. We had maybe five visits total. I let kids take two candy bars and pick out whichever ones they wanted. The highlight was a little spider-man who shouted to his mom “WOW! They have BIG candy bars!!” He was adorable. Most of the kids expressed delight for the real thing and were polite and gracious. I was impressed.
We had quite a bit of candy leftover, so Gerald took it to work today. Too bad, really, because my sore knee could really use a a frozen Snickers bar. You know, to ice it.
I did manage to snap a few pics of Maddie in her costume a little earlier in the afternoon. They’re not great, because I was hoping to get some better shots in the evening. That’ll teach me, huh?
(Oh, and if anyone’s interested in a Lab or two, they’re free for the taking.)
It’s faint, but the bruise goes all the way across her forehead.
Thanks for ruining my first Halloween, mom.
