And now, back to talk about babies

I read your suggestions about narcing on the crappy sono tech, and while I think it’s a brilliant idea, it goes against my basically passive-aggressive nature. Mostly, I keep quiet in person and then bitch to you. But, I promise to really consider it. K?

Daisy asked in the comments here about the possibility of more children in my future. Why, I’m glad you asked, Daisy! “The scare,” really put some things into perspective for me. I realized that my desire for another child is based on hormones at this point. Don’t get me wrong, I do want another baby when Maddie’s older, but not now. When I thought I was pregnant, I wasn’t happy about it. It was more of a “Oh Dear God” sort of feeling. I felt bad for Maddie, mostly. I don’t want her to get gypped out of her baby/toddler years as an only child. I want to be able to lavish her with all my attention and devotion. For a while. Ideally, I’d consider having another baby when she’s three or so. But, it’s really a moot point because Gerald is dead-set against any more children. Not that he doesn’t like Maddie or wishes we hadn’t had her. I think the pregnancy and birth was actually harder on him than it was on me. I don’t think he wants us to have to go through that again. I also think he feels spread too thin with a full-time job, several on-the-side jobs and a couple of high maintenance girls at home. From his perspective, adding another needy being to the mix would just be too much.

I’m hoping that in a few years things will have settled down and we might be a in a place where a second child makes sense for us. And if not? That’s ok, too. I already have everything I could ever want in life. A loving and supportive husband, a smart and beautiful daughter, a nice home, a good family and money to pay the bills.

My boobs, they have been smooshed.

Dear Sonogram Technician,

You can suck it.

Love, Erica

I had my mammogram today and it wasn’t horrible. Not on my list of top 10 activities, but not awful. The sonogram was a different story altogether. The tech was a mean, awful lady. She didn’t listen to me about the location of the lump in my breast AND she belittled me about being there. Actual words from her mouth:
“Well, you know breasts change after you have a baby.” Really? No shit.
“All I can see is normal breast tissue. I keep looking, but I just don’t see anything.” <insert heavy sigh here>
“The lump probably isn’t any bigger than it was before.” Wow. Have you ever seen it before today? Cuz, I’m thinking I might know better than you on this one.
“Did your doctor see this?” Um yeah. How do you think I got the orders for the mammogram? Black market?

She acted like I was wasting her time and it really pissed me off. Way to support breast health, lady. Again, I say, “suck it.”

PSA

Two lines on a pregnancy test doesn’t always mean “positive.”

You know, in case you take one and accidentally misread it and think you’re pregnant, then tell your husband you’re pregnant and spend all night lying awake trying to figure out exactly WHAT THE FUCK YOU’RE GOING TO DO ABOUT THE FACT THAT YOU ARE PREGNANT AND YOU WILL HAVE TWO BABIES UNDER TWO AT THE SAME TIME.

Instead of waiting until morning to take the second test, and, you know, READ THE INSTRUCTIONS, maybe you should do that right away.

I’m just sayin’.

A post about food

The other night, I made Alton’s fried pickles. Those of you in the North may not be familiar with the joy that is fried pickles. I had never had them until I moved to Texas, and now I cannot picture life with out them. If you’ve never had them, let me assure you that you have been MISSING OUT. And you should MAKE THESE RIGHT NOW!

Instead of copying the recipe for you, I’m going to be lazy it and link it here, instead. The recipe is super easy, but it gets boring dredging that many pickles, so be prepared for that. I went ahead and dredged them all and then fried them in batches of four or five. Two minutes wasn’t long enough for my fryer, so I went three minutes to achieve the golden brown and delicious crust that makes fried pickles so yummy.

Also, they’re a little bland. I need to make them again and play around with some seasoning in the cornmeal. If you find something that works, let me know? kthanx.

Pickley Goodness

I prefer mine with some ranch for dipping.

When Gerald and I got married, my mom saved the top of our wedding cake for us. It sat in her freezer for six months until our house was built and then it moved to our freezer. There, it lived for two and a half years. When my dad moved in with us in March, he gave us his fridge and we put it in the garage. I moved the cake AGAIN and it lived in the garage freezer. Yesterday, I got tired of seeing it every time I went out there, so I brought it into the house and thawed it. We’re going to eat it this weekend. Almost four years after we got married. I had a taste of the icing last night and it tastes as good as it did on the day we got married. Score one for my mom and her wrap job.

wow

just…. wow.

The Polls Are Closed. Also, Magic Pajamas.

**UPDATE: The mammogram is officially scheduled. Monday, October 15th at 3:00pm.**

I, too, love the Lobstah costume, but I was kind of afraid Maddie might be too straight-jackety in it. I called this morning to order the the kiss and THEY WERE SOLD OUT! Bastards! So, I ordered the bee, which will be too big for her. I also ordered her a little witch candy tote thingy with her name on it. Voila:

She won’t need it now, but in a couple of years it will be perfect for her.

A couple of days ago, I ran over to The Children’s Place and got Maddie some too-damned-expensive pajamas and she wore a pair last night for the first time. She went to bed at 7:30pm, and it is now 10:30am and SHE IS STILL SLEEPING. She woke up at 7:15 and I gave her a bottle, but she still seemed sleepy, so I laid her back down hoping for another hour. That was three hours ago! WTF?? Does TCP weave a narcotic sleep drug into the fabric of their jammies? Hell, I’m getting three more pairs. Today. If she ever wakes up, that is.

Here’s a link to the pajamas, for those that asked. They were three for $25 in the TCP store.

Vote Now!

Which one do you like best?

It’d be easier if they just recalled our kids

Baby Einstein Blocks have been recalled. Read here.

Luckily, Maddie’s narrowly escaped the recall. Hers are in that batch, but not recalled. To be safe, though, I’ve taken the blue block away from her.

The Evenflo Triumph car seat has also been recalled. Of course, Maddie has this, too. Hers is outside the date parameters again, so we dodged another bullet.

Damn it feels good to be a gangsta

I got my new car. It’s a Kia Sedona and I luurrve it. It’s purty.

The night we got it, I drove around town with my iPod blastin the tunes. I was the shit, man. Until I realized that I was driving an effing minivan, for crissake. All coolness was gone like that.

Regardless of the lack of street cred, I’m glad we got it. It has loads of room and is fully loaded with all the buttons and gadgets I think I need.

The pimpmobile:

My order from Baby Legs finally came in. Now who’s got street cred?

Gerald says they make her look fat. Um, no. They make her look ADORABLE.

For some reason, the pink pair is a lot shorter than the others. I checked my order confirm and it doesn’t say they’re any different. Weird.

Deal or No Deal

As many of you already know, October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. You know, in case you’ve never heard of breast cancer. This would be the month to pay attention.

My mother died two years ago due to liver failure that was compromised by breast cancer. She was originally diagnosed with breast cancer in 2000 or 2001… I can never remember when for sure. She had a lumpectomy and they removed all the lymph nodes under her right arm. She was given the “sandwich treatment” of chemo, radiation and then chemo again. When her cancer was discovered, they also found that she had cirrhosis of the liver. My grandmother had hepatitis while pregnant with my mom, and it apparently damaged my mom’s liver and she never knew it. The oncologist had to work closely with the liver specialist to make sure the chemo wouldn’t kill my mom. It’s kind of difficult to poison someone when the organ that flushes away poisons isn’t working up to speed. But, they managed to do it. Mom was cleared of cancer and things were good. There was rejoicing across the land!

In November of 2003, my parents moved here to Texas. I was thrilled to have them closer. I had just gotten engaged to Gerald and he fit right into our little family. Everyone honestly liked everyone else. Things were picture perfect until I got bronchitis that year. I ended up passing it on to my mom and she just couldn’t seem to get over it. Finally, her doctor sent her for a chest x-ray to see if perhaps she had pneumonia. She didn’t, but what they found was worse. She had spots on her lungs. Cancer spots. And then, they found them on her liver. And in her brain. When breast cancer metastasizes, it seldom comes back to the breasts. It favors the lungs and the brain. This time, treatment would have to be aggressive to kill the cancer, but my mom’s liver couldn’t handle it. They gave her the strongest chemo she could take and radiation treatment for the brain cancer, since it doesn’t respond to chemo. I watched my vivacious, brilliant mother fade and wither before my eyes. She was always sick and always tired. She asked me to shave her head for her. I tried to make it funny and crack jokes, but we both saw through the facade.

She fought and struggled against her cancerous demons until spring of 2005. Her liver began failing in earnest and my mom slipped into a coma. Now, don’t think that because I used a gentle word like “slipped,” that it was gentle. It was horrific and the stuff of which nightmares are made. She died in my arms at 7:00 am on April 17th, 2005. It was the single worst day of my life. No, I take that back. The day I had to hand over her ashes for some man to put them in the ground was the worst day of my life. I had cared for my mom for weeks and then in one swift movement, my job was done. My heart broke into a million pieces. And while it’s healed now, there are still a few pieces unaccounted for.

I have a lump in my right breast. It’s been there for a long time. I’ve had it looked at, and it was deemed harmless. However, since Maddie was born, it’s gotten bigger. My OB sent me for a mammogram and I missed it. I was sick that day. But, I never rescheduled. My OB’s office finally called me and asked if I ever went. I confessed that I hadn’t and they told me to reschedule. I called the mammo place, and they wouldn’t talk to me, they wanted my doctor’s office to call them. All I needed to do was call the doctor’s office right back and have them reschedule for me. But I didn’t. I still haven’t. It’s been months.

I’ll make you a deal, I’ll call and schedule mine if you schedule yours.