Choices
Thank you all for your comments on the loss of my motivation. I had a spectacularly awful day full of self-pity on Monday. There was weeping and “woe is me”ing and general patheticness. I even had a hard time controlling myself at my WW meeting. I was watching a woman get a little award for losing her 10% and I was a firey mix of self-righteous indignation (Oh, easy for her to do! Her 10% is probably 15lbs! Mine is SO MUCH MORE!”) and paranoia (I will NEVER get my 10% and every person in here knows that. I bet they all talk about me and how fat I am!”).
Luckily, I seem to have slept it off. I stuck to my points budget Monday and today and there is no thought of cheating. I’ve decided to take Skippy’s advice (to be fair, it was my husband’s advice first and I just refused to listen) and designate a “cheat” day. I’ve decided that a whole day is too much for a binge-prone person like myself, so I’ve specified that I shall be able to eat one whole meal and one snack/dessert that I want every Saturday. Amen. Pass the collection plate. I think that if I know that I’m able to have something on Saturdays, it will lessen my need to binge. And, I may be able to wait out cravings. I wanted a candy bar on Wednesday, but do I still want it on Saturday? Hopefully, the answer will be “no.” *snort* Yeah, like that’s gonna happen.
Anyhow, this is fantastic timing since Gerald and I will be out on an all day, grown-ups only adventure on Saturday. My dad and his wife are watching Maddie and we’re driving north to Oklahoma and the CASINOS! There will be GAMBLING! And drinking! And losing all our money! And hiding the atm card! I’m so excited! We haven’t been anywhere alone in a long, long, time. The only times we’ve been out since Maddie was born was for dinner and a movie. Three hours, tops. This will be for the whole day. Or, until we’re broke. Which will be approximately 14 minutes after we get there.
Meanwhile, the baby has stopped screaming as a form of communication. Thank you, mighty and fearsome gods of fate. However, we are now experiencing nighttime separation anxiety. She wakes up at least once before we go to bed just crying her little head off. I rush in there expecting there to be a giant monster or her arm stuck in the crib slats. So far, there is just her sitting in the middle of her crib and crying. She doesn’t do this a nap time. Just at night. I told Gerald it’s like she’s having nightmares. It’s terrible for me, and I can’t imagine how bad it must be for her. But, if I’ve learned one thing about this parenthood shit, it’s that everything passes. No matter how awful the phase, it will end. And it will most likely be replaced by something worse.
I try no to think about that last part too often.
Good on the weight watchers. Great on the night away (you’ll have so much fun). Boo to the night wakings.
You’re very right about one thing replacing another. But the cuteness multiplies too…at least it has for my son at this age. He’s constantly cracking us up at this age. For example, he just learned to say “hot hot” and blow on his own food that is too hot. Matt took him to the store tonight and gave him a pretzel. Zachariah blew on it and declared it “hot hot”. Huh? So cute though.
I liked the idea of a cheating time, too–and, like you, a whole day of it would be too much for me, at least at first. I’d be like “*checking off list* Donuts, pizza, two sacks of chocolate bars, half-gallon of ice cream, pan of brownies…Did I miss anything?” Then I’d have some leftover and “have to” eat it the next day “to get it out of the house.”
But if I can NEVER have stuff I want (well, without using an entire day’s points on it and then weeping with hunger two hours later), I start thinking “SCREW THIS WHOLE ‘LIFESTYLE CHANGE’ CRAP! I WANT MY OLD LIFESTYLE!!”
I like the cheat day too. I know a lot of people have success witht that. If I know myself, though, I would end up pissed if I didn’t eat something yummy during my cheat time. Like, what if I accidently had a salad or something? DO OVER! EXTEND CHEAT DAY!
But, if I’ve learned one thing about this parenthood shit, it’s that everything passes. No matter how awful the phase, it will end. And it will most likely be replaced by something worse.
Had to laugh at that. My best friend’s adorable, sweet two year old little girl bit someone in pre-school yesterday. What’s funny to me (and to her, because she knows how this goes by now) is that, she used to look askance at the parents whose kids bit other kids.
Like, “what kind of horrible parent are you that your kid BITES people? MY two little boys NEVER bit ANYONE!” etc., and so forth. Really superior.
Well hah hah hah…now her girl is the one other parents are looking at askance. Oops. It is to laugh, it really is. I remember comparing my kids to other people’s kids too and thinking, “My kid doesn’t do THAT! Or THAT!” Ego-puff, ego-puff. “It must be ME! I’m so great!” Then one of my darlings would do something I’d always attributed to bad parenting and I’d go…ummm….AHAHAHAHA!
Ah, parents. We’re a pretty judgmental bunch; at least, until they grow up and we learned the hard way to stop doing it. Heh.