AWOL
I’m sorry I’ve been so quiet this week. I’d like to tell you that it’s because I’ve been really busy with some important tasks, but that’s just not the case.
Basically, I’ve been lazy. I’ve had a few books that I’ve really wanted to read, so posting wasn’t a high priority. Also? I didn’t have anything to say. I’m getting ready to wrap up things at the Workplace and make the transition to sahm. I feel really good about it and I’m looking forward to more time with the baby.
Speaking of babies growing up too damned fast, Maddie crawled today. And where was I? IN THE BATHROOM. Even more tragically, this is NOT THE FIRST TIME THIS HAS HAPPENED. This is the second major milestone that I missed because of PEE. I was prepared to miss some milestones because I was at work. I had mentally prepared myself for the fact that Maddie’s babysitter may be the first one to see her do some things, but I had never prepared myself for the fact that my husband would see things first because I have a bladder the size of a kiwi. Where are all the pregnancy books that tell you this is how it’s going to be? Huh? And what about all the other stuff they leave out? Like:
Your hair falling out in clumps when your baby is 3 months old.
Breastfeeding is so damned hard that you may feel like a total failure as a mother and as a woman.
You will never sleep through the night again, even when your baby does because every little sound wakes you. Is that the baby?
You will say and do things you never would have dreamed you’d ever do. You won’t even be drunk when you do them.
You will be VERY interested in another human being’s poop output.
Once your baby is born, you envision horrible, tragic things happening to them all the damned time. Swistle calls it “The Knife Thing.” As in, imaging the knife you’re putting into the dishwasher slips and stabs your baby, even though he or she is in another room. Dropping your baby is another common one. Mine is imagining forgetting her in the car in Texas in August.
We need to get together and write a book about what it’s really like. Although, I doubt many women will still want babies after reading it. It’s pretty scary stuff.
Filed under: sahm, Workplace, baby, daily on August 9th, 2007
Maybe you should publish the book and distribute it to middle schools and high schools to inform these girls pregnancy and having a baby is not as easy as they think it is going to be. I bet you would make a million trillion dollars!!!
That’s the best idea, EVAH, Tina!
I think that must be the root of the “no one ever told me problem”: anything we don’t tell, it’s because we want to ensure the continuation of the species. And we know the good outweighs the bad, but it doesn’t SOUND that way: the bad is too easy to understand, and the good not easy enough.
That’s probably true, Swistle. I know I would have given a second thought to the whole “baby” thing if I had known some of these things.
You know what’s weird, tho? It doesn’t stop anyone from having more babies. I mean, take you for instance. You know better than anyone what having a kid is like and yet, more babies! I guess the hormones and maternal instinct are stronger than all the bad stuff, huh? Plus, babies are pretty damned cute.
Oh man, the Hot Car Thing. I once heard a news story about a man who left his baby in the car all day because he forgot to drop her off at daycare and I CANNOT FORGET THAT SHIT TO SAVE MY LIFE.
Seriously, it’s like every one of those news stories is permanently ingrained in my brain. Remember a few summers ago there were like 5 babies left in cars? It was HORRIBLE.
I think when you’re pregnant, you don’t ask the hard questions either. So experienced mothers only tell you the easy/good things about becomming a mother. Maybe that’s why.
Oh, I like the idea about writing a book for teenagers. Funny.
Honestly, I didn’t know the hard questions to ask when I was pregnant! There’s so much about motherhood that you simply cannot be prepared for. Like how much you’re going to love your child. There’s no way anyone can explain that to you beforehand. And if they could, you wouldn’t believe them.
You are too funny! And right, too, lol!
And I hope I didn’t already comment this here before (I know I have shared this story at least once, somewhere) but I left Lucy in the car for a few minutes once when she was a baby. (See? I dish out all this great parenting advice these days but I had to LEARN it all the hard way, lol! Hey, I was only 22 and fairly stupid back then. Or is that redundant? ;-P)
She’d fallen asleep in her car seat and I didn’t want to wake her; I just had to make a deposit in the bank, the car was pulled right up in front of the glass doors so I could see Lucy the whole time I was with the teller, there was no line, it would only take a minute, if that, etc., etc., etc.
Rationalization. And you know what a hassle it is to carry your heavy baby on your arm while signing a check, maybe she’d cry when I woke her, you know, yatta yattta-ta-yat.
So I cracked the windows, locked the door behind me and *ran* into the bank, heart pounding in my throat (I knew it was wrong, you see…)
Of course, by then there *was* a line. Still, I could see the top of her little head so I kept watching her in the car and then looking forward to see if there was a teller. After a few minutes, though, I couldn’t stand it, it looked like her head was moving which meant she’d woken up, so I raced back to my car.
She was *screaming* and drenched in sweat. This was mild weather, folks, and it had only been a few minutes. I mean literally THREE minutes at the most! In just that small amount of time she had become a very upset, red faced, screaming, sweaty hot baby. I mean *beet red*. Slick with sweat. Awful. I felt like the worst human being in existence.
I grabbed her out of her car seat and held her against me and I was completely panicked out of my mind. She calmed down and was fine but oh my GOD, what a terrible lesson.
You can bet I *never* did anything like that again and I hope if any new mom reads this and you are tempted to do it (only a few minutes, I can see my car from here, baby’s sleeping, etc.) DON’T DO IT!
It’s SHOCKING how fast they can get overheated when they start screaming and there is no air flowing through the car.
I hadn’t heard that story, yet. Thank you for sharing it with me. I have been in that situation so many times before… wanting to run a tiny little errand and having to lug around the baby and all her various things. I’ve thought many times that it would be so much easier to leave her in the car for a minute or two.
Guess what…you never quit worrying. With the Dallas news I listen to the wrecks and imagine all kinds of terrible things that might happen to you,Gerald and Maddie. Once a mom always a mom…:) But would I trade it for anything…NEVER!
Thanks, little momma. We love you, too.
So you have the paranoid “Everything I do-or could do-will endanger the baby” feeling?? I’m glad I’m not the only one…..
Here’s some I’ve thought of, and the baby-in the-car-in-this-heat one is at the top of my list.:
Is the kitchen floor tile too slippery?? Will I slip and fall w/ my baby??
Should I put bubble wrap on the edge of the coffee table?
Their feeding seats look too unstable, they could flip right out of those things!!
What if they decide to walk all of a sudden, open the baby-proofed door to the laundry room, open the dryer door and climb inside??
lmao! I love the dryer one. Isn’t it crazy that we should be afraid of things that are so obviously NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN??