Ready for her closeup

Here are three of the portraits that I got back from JCP. I got a few other poses, but I ordered them after the fact, so I won’t get them until Sunday.

I know it’s hard to take a photo of framed photos, but hopefully you’ll get the idea. Gerald’s cousin is a frame maker and he made this for us back in February. I’m only now getting to use it.

One plus One plus One

Tessie gave me a great idea for a post. Not that I had run out of things to talk about or anything like that. No. Never.

Let’s talk about family size and birth order, shall we?

I’m an only child, sort of. My family tree is gnarled and withered, so don’t feel bad if you can’t keep up. My biological father, E, was married to a lady, P, before he married my mom. P had one boy (R) from her previous marriage, and then she and E had a daughter (V) together. With me, so far? Well, E and P got divorced, and then E married my mom. Together, they had me. Three short years later, when my mom caught him cheating on her with MJ, she booted him to the curb. He married MJ and they had a daughter,b. (My biological father sounds a lot like Kevin Federline, doesn’t he?) All of the children lived with their mothers. Well, except b. She lived with both her parents.

When I was little, R, V and I would spend the summers together at E and MJ’s place. So, I went from being an only child, to the youngest. Talk about a rough summer vacation. You see, my sister, V, went from being the youngest at her house, to older than me. Therefore, she terrorized me relentlessly. The only comfort was R terrorizing her right back. Well, somewhere around my sixth year, R stopped coming to visit E’s in the summer. E wasn’t his real dad and he didn’t want to waste the summers hanging out with his kid sister and me. From then on, it was just me and V.

When I was nine, my mom married B. He was my step-dad until I was 10, when he legally adopted me. This is the man I refer to as “dad.” I continued to see E over the summer until I was 11 and my sister was 16. At 16, she got pregnant and married. There was no way I was going to E and MJ’s place every summer by myself. BORING. Plus, MJ was a self-righteous bitch and I pretty much hated her. So, I stopped going. E didn’t seem to mind one bit.

When I was 16, MJ got pregnant with b. I saw her once, when she was just a few months old. Never since. When last I spoke to V, she assured me I wasn’t missing out on anything. Seems b is as spoiled as her mother is self-righteous.

The last dramatic event took place about seven or eight years ago. E died of a brain aneurysm, leaving MJ and b on their own. P, my sister’s mother, died just a few years before E did, so V is an orphan, just like I am. Except I still have my step-dad, and she doesn’t have anyone. I don’t think R’s father was really in the picture much.

What you were supposed to gather from that long, convoluted tale, is that I’m an only child, and the middle of three girls. For the sake of argument, I always say I’m an only child since I was never raised in the same house as either of my sisters.

Gerald, well, he’s an only child plain and simple. And Maddie will be, too. Why? Well, we made decision before I even got pregnant that we would only have one child. We both enjoyed being only children, and since we know the pitfalls such as selfishness and the inability to share, we know what to be diligent in teaching Maddie. We’re just not big family people. My mom and dad are both one of four. Gerald’s dad is one of two and his mom is one of three. No big families on either side.

One child is easier, in my opinion. I’m not spread thin, trying to provide monetarily and emotionally for multiple children. I won’t be running around every weekend, trying to get each kid to their respective games or practices. No telling Maddie I can’t be at her soccer game because I have to be at her sister’s softball game or take her brother to football practice. I don’t have to give two children half my attention. I get to concentrate on Maddie. Gosh, that sure sounds like I’m going to smother her, doesn’t it? Let’s hope it never comes to that.

Yes, I do regret that Maddie won’t have siblings to grow up with. But, I don’t regret it a lot. I don’t have much experience with siblings, and what I do have isn’t pleasant. I hope that by the time Gerald and I shuffle off this mortal coil, Maddie has her own family. The one thing I worry about most is her being alone when we die. Having no biological parents is a tough thing. Even when you’re an adult. It’s even worse when there’s no biological family left, period. No one to ask about medical history. No one tell stories of what a parent was like as a child. There’s an empty spot in your life where they used to fit, and it will never be filled by anyone else. In my case, my adoptive family is even better than the biological one I used to have, so I’m not lacking for love and support. I’m one of the lucky ones.

I’m a loser, baby

Last Monday night, I joined Weight Watchers online. I worked the program all week and then attended my first meeting last night. I weighed myself at home when I joined, and then weighed at the meeting last night. Near as I can tell, I lost about three pounds.

The thing I cannot get over is that it seems to have finally “clicked” for me. Last week on the program wasn’t a struggle. I didn’t feel deprived or binge-y or any of the things I typically feel when I’m on a “diet.” This time, it feels like it might actually sink into my thick skull. I have no problem grasping the fact that this is my new life. I’m not eating well temporarily to lose weight. I’m eating well because that’s what I should be doing. Fast food and junk just doesn’t appeal to me at all right now. WTF? When did this happen? And why didn’t it happen for me at all over the last 15 years? I know I shouldn’t care about why it’s happening and just enjoy the fact that it is happening… but I’m afraid it’ll stop as suddenly as it started.

Maybe it’s my new motivation. I know everyone says you’re supposed to do it for yourself and no one else. Well, I’m not doing it for myself. I’m doing it for Maddie. First of all, I want to be around for her. I don’t want to die young from a totally preventable problem. I also want to be able to run and play with her. And I want to teach her how to eat healthfully.

I think, in the past, doing it for myself wasn’t really a motivation for me because I didn’t really care much about myself. My self-esteem was too low to use “loving myself” as a motivator. Now, I have a reason to want to be healthy. A reason I totally and completely believe in. And it really is about being healthier and not skinnier. Skinnier is a nice bonus, but I just want to be the best mom I can be for Maddie.

Curiouser and curiouser

Thank you all for your comments and advice about Maddie’s eye wonkiness. She has her nine month well baby visit in early November, so I’m going to ask her doctor about it then. Unless it gets worse, of course. Then, I’ll take her in for just that.

I was looking at my site’s analytics today and saw something quite interesting. I got a hit from a search for “peeing dress up in the car.”

Ahem.

I don’t believe I’ve ever used those words together on my blog… before today, that is. So, whoever you are, I’m sorry you didn’t find what you were looking for here.

This weekend, we’re taking the baby to Austin to visit Gerald’s family. I’m really looking forward to it. She’s changed so much since they last saw her in the beginning of July. One glaring difference: crawling. Yes, she started crawling this weekend. Like a big girl. Granted, it’s very much like a drunken big girl, but it’s crawling nonetheless.

As you’d expect, I’m torn over this new development. On one hand, I’m very excited and proud that my baby has reached a new plateau and can be more self-sufficient. Now, when she sees a toy she wants, she crawls over to it. Or, if she wants to be with me, she crawls over to me. It’s very satisfying to see.

On the other hand, WTF happened to my little baby????? She’s growing up so fast and at this rate by next week she’ll be moving in to her own place and she won’t need me anymore and then what will I do? Oh, how I long for a tiny little baby to nuzzle. To snorfle her little head and tuck her into the crook of my arm. I miss those silly little expressions they make when they’re sleeping and their mewling cries. I miss the wrinkly and floppy little body and teeny tiny socks for teeny tiny feet.

*sigh* This parenting thing is a real bitch sometimes.

Let’s catch up, shall we?

Ok, I’m guessing from the lack of responses to the book review (Thank you, Swistle), that you’re not digging them. No prob. I do plan to keep writing them, though, so just skip that day’s post if you hate them like poison, k? I love reading and want to share the gems that I find. Who knows? There may be one person out there who reads the review and tries the book. I call that a success any day.

Now, let’s talk about yesterday. Or, as Gerald and I are calling it, “The Day That Will Live in Infamy.” Gerald came into some money recently and we decided to make some purchases. Based on said purchases, can you guess my new hobby?
17″ Macbook Pro
Canon photo printer
30G video iPod (black, because it’s way cooler than white.)
Nikon D40 professional digital SLR camera
Ream of 150 sheets photo paper

(Technically, the macbook isn’t mine. But, it was the most expensive thing we bought yesterday, so it had to go on the list.)

Finally, I’d like your opinions. Maddie has a wonky eye. Her right eye is squinty-er than her left. It has been since she was born. The minute they handed her to me, I immediately touched that eye because it looked swollen. No lie. Anyhow, the wonky eye drives me CRAZY. At first, I chalked it up to her having two different eyes. You know, being asymmetrical. But lately, I’m noticing that the eye isn’t always wonky. It’s bad when she’s tired. Other times, there is no wonkiness to be found. This leads me to believe it’s a muscular issue and I want a doctor to take a look at it. Is this crazy? Gerald makes fun of me and says I’m going to take her to a plastic surgeon for a little nip tuck. Really, it just glares at me from my daughter’s otherwise perfect face. Am I overreacting? No, really. You can tell me. Believe it, or not, I’ve been known to overreact once or twice.

**UPDATE** I just looked through seven months of pictures to see when the wonky eye started. Interestingly enough, it doesn’t appear in any photographs until May. So, it’s really gotten much more noticeable/worse(?) in the last three months. Weird, huh? I was also looking more closely at the wonky photo posted below. You can see it seems like her eyebrow on the right side is lower, too. It doesn’t look like the eyeball, or even the lid is drooping. It kind of looks to me like the Corrugator muscle or the Frontalis muscle. (Yes, I know the names of these muscles. I watch a lot of DHC and plastic surgery shows. It looks like Maddie needs a brow lift on the right side. Yes, I also realize this does, in fact, support Gerald’s nip tuck theory.)

Here’s photographic evidence of the wonky eye:

And here is proof of non-wonkiness:

A Dirty Job, by Christopher Moore

I’ve already recommended Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal, also by Christopher Moore. So, you should trust me when I say that I’m doing you a favor when I recommend A Dirty Job.

If you’ve read any of Mr. Moore’s other books, you know that he’s a fan of using the same location and/or the same characters throughout his books. A Dirty Job takes place in San Fransisco and characters from Coyote Blue, Bloodsucking Fiends, and You Suck: A Love Story make appearances. However, the main characters are completely new.

The story is of Charlie Asher and his daughter Sophie. Charlie is what Mr. Moore calls, “a beta male.” Not alpha by any stretch of the imagination. However, circumstances put Charlie in the position of being very important, indeed.

Charlie is the proprietor of a second-hand shop in San Fransisco. After a series of traumatic events, he begins to see items in his shop glow with a preternatural red light. Come to find out, Charlie is a “death merchant.” A death merchant’s job is to protect souls from the forces of darkness. In this lively tale, there are people walking around without souls, and there are souls attached to objects. When a soulless person meets the right object for them, BAM! They’ve got a soul. Nifty, huh? Except those pesky forces of darkness are always trying to get the soul for themselves before it can be passed onto the next person.

This book has the same vein of humor that runs through Lamb. I found myself laughing out loud on multiple occasions. While the story is far-fetched, Mr. Moore writes in such a way that makes you believe it’s entirely possible. I never had one of those “now, come on… really?” moments while reading this book.

If you’ve read Lamb, and are looking for another funny, witty and thought-provoking book by Christopher Moore, I highly recommend A Dirty Job.

Memey Goodness

It’s been a while since I’ve gotten a good meme, so I’ve decided to make up my own. (Can you do this sort of thing? Just make up your own? Is there a board that has to vote on the meme’s worthiness?)

Childhood Meme

1. When you were in grade school, what did you want to be when you grew up? Is that what you do now?

2. What was you favorite children’s book/story?

3. What was THE band/singer of your youth? You know, the one who’s posters were in your locker and on your bedroom walls?

4. What’s the most cringe-worthy fashion “don’t” you used to wear regularly?

5. High school – loved it or hated it? Why?

Since I started it, I ought to answer, huh?

1. I wanted to be a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader. I shit you not. And no, that is not what I do now. Although, can you imagine working from home as cheerleader? Would you watch the games on TV and cheer along? Cheer by speaker phone?

2. The Chronicles of Narnia were my favorite books. In particular, the fifth book, The Voyage of the Dawn Treader.

3. New Kids on the Block. Joey was my favorite. I never saw them in concert, but I would have given my left arm to go. Yes, I am ashamed of this now.

4. Hmmm… probably the banana clip/mall bangs combo.

5. Hated it. I wasn’t a good person back then and no one really wanted to be around me for long. I’m not that same little girl anymore and I really wish I had the chance to do it over again. Although, those experiences helped make me who I am now, so I probably wouldn’t want to go back and eff it up.

Ok, now it’s your turn. I tag all of you. If you choose to play along, let me know in comments so I can stop by your place and read your answers. Those of you without a blog who want to play, feel free to leave your answers in comments.

Go! Spread the meme like the plague!

A little less Bleh

This morning, we took a field trip to Target to procure an additional crib sheet. This now brings the count to three. One on the crib, one on standby and one in the wash…. at least, that’s how it works in my head. Knowing fate as intimately as I do, I’m sure it won’t work out in practice.

While we were at Target, I picked up some soft blocks for the kid. This alone makes me a contender for parent-of-the-year. She luuuurrrves them and has played with them for 30 minutes straight. (30 minutes to a seven month old = 12 days to the rest of us.)

Here are some action shots:

And moments after this last one was taken? You guessed it… barf.

Bleh

Maddie has a bit of a bug and there has been vomiting on a grand scale. I have changed and washed her crib sheets and blankies approximately 1586970503453459 times since Friday.

I’m thinking this is the universe’s way of hazing me upon my initiation into the sahm clique.  Next, I’m going to have beer bong in the driveway and moon the neighbors.

New and Improved

Since I do an awful lot of reading, I’ve decided to start reviewing books on my blog. I plan to review a book a week and there will be a handy little link over there to the left that will let you purchase the book directly from Amazon, if you so choose.

Stay tuned for this week’s review, which will be for the book A Dirty Job, by Christopher Moore.