I will live to regret this. I hope.

Swistle is promoting misery in the form of Couch to 5k. I laughed and poked fun the first few times she talked about doing it. But then she went and actually did it.

In what will later be described as a moment of pure insanity, I said I’d join in. WTF was I thinking? Immediately, I began to panic. How can I fink out before I even try? How? How?! Oh! I need new running shoes. Mine are purely aesthetic and not at all meant for actual running. That was my ticket out. I can put it off until I get new shoes and by then, well, maybe she’ll forget I said I’d participate! I’m a diabolical genius!

Tonight, sitting on my butt, getting fatter, I had a mental AHA! moment. There will always be reasons to put off exercise BECAUSE I HATE IT. Well you know what? I hate being fat, too. I decided to hate being fat more than I hate exercise. I put on my fashionable shoes, grabbed my iPod and headed out. I walked to 11 of 13 Lily Allen songs. I walked in time to the music and bitch as some up tempo stuff, I can tell you that much. All in all, I was gone between 30 and 40 minutes… I’m not exactly sure when I left. I have no idea how far I walked, how fast, or how many steps. All I know is it was hard. It’s 88 degrees out there and I am not a small girl. By the time I got back home, I barely had enough will to walk up the driveway. I wanted to sit down on the curb and call Gerald to drive down and pick up my sorry ass.

I do still need new shoes. Mine were rubbing and hurty about halfway through. But, I’m not going to let it be an excuse to fink out. I’m going to walk at least 30 minutes three times a week. I’m not going to think of it as a “have to,” but a “get to.” It’s time to myself, with my music blaring and no child or husband or coworker needing my attention.

I’m also not going to diet. I figure, if I keep eating like I do and add exercise, I should still be ahead of the game. I’m blindly hoping that all this attention that I’m paying to exercise will result in me making better food choices simply because I am paying attention. As I sit here, recovering, my legs are tingly and a blister is beginning to throb. The last thing I want to do is eat ice cream and ruin it.
I don’t think I’ve ever typed those words before.

I finally figured out the mysteries of WordPress and uploading photos. For your viewing pleasure:

One man’s empty Crystal Light container is another man’s favorite toy.

Can’t you envision this same photo taken 20 years from now as she stumbles drunkenly out of club while yelling obscenities at the paparazzi?

Not the best mom ever

Lately, Maddie has been a little, shall we say, soul sucking in her desire for attention. She used to be fine playing in her saucer-ma-jig while I washed bottles or putzed around the house for a few minutes. Now, whenever she sees me and I’m not giving her my undivided attention, there is much whimpering and whining that escalates into nuclear meltdown mode. I’m not really sure how to handle it. On one hand, I understand that playing by yourself isn’t as cool as playing with mama. I was an only child, too, you know. I also know that interaction and playing are really good for her and teach her all kinds of valuable after-school-special lessons. On the other hand, can’t I get a drink of water without the tears and mewling? There seems to be a fine line between teaching her a little bit of independence and neglecting her. And she and I have very different views on where exactly that line falls.

There’s also the question of what to do with her all day. She’s content to hang out on my lap, pulling my hair and grabbing my face for hours on end. Me? Not so much. We play on the floor, or with her toys on the saucer-ma-jig, but I get bored with all that. I’d love to take her out walking, or to the park, or even playing in the backyard…. but there are the issues of extreme hotness and humidity which make being outside a misery. Also, there’s a lot of dog poop in the yard, and well, that’s just a disaster waiting to happen.

So, tell me, what do you do with your kids all day? I know most of them are older or younger than Maddie, but share with me anyway. Maybe I can steal a few ideas and modify them.

And we’re back

Ok. You win. The chair is back.

I’ve got some good pictures of Maddie to share with you, but damned if I can figure out how to load them in this program. Stay tuned for further developments.

Speaking of Maddie, tonight, I heard her really laugh for the first time. That full-on, crazy-assed baby laugh. She was in the tub, and I waggled my hand in the water and it splashed her; much laughter ensued. So, of course, I did it for like 10 minutes. They need to figure out a way to bottle that laugh. I’m pretty sure it could cure cancer.

We tried to call Gerald’s parents so that they could hear the laugh, but it wasn’t meant to be. His dad? Yeah, totally deaf and couldn’t hear it over the phone. I think I’ll ask Gerald to video it next time and we’ll send it to them. A grandparent hasn’t lived until they’ve heard their grand kid laughing like a loon.

Hardhat Area. Also, a catcall.

Hey baby, nice ass.

WordPress has some nifty themes and I’ve got five or six that I’m playing around with. Yay or nay on this one? I didn’t ask about the comfy chair theme because I really like it and plan to use it no matter what you think. Lest you think me heartless, I’ll ask your opinion on the rest of them

Comments Welcome

Gerald and I got to talking about blog comments last night. I was lamenting the disparity between the number of hits I get and the number of comments left. I get quite a few visitors each day, but not really a lot of comments. Those who do comment, though, are fairly regular about commenting. I appreciate that, very much. You see, I’m a total comment whore.

My personal philosophy on comments is this: I have a public journal because I welcome the interaction from my readers. If I just wanted to write, I’d have a paper journal on my nightstand. Instead, I chose to write in a public forum. Therefore, I like comments. They’re a sort of validation, if you will.

I must admit that I’m not as good about frequent commenting as I’d like to be. Those blogs listed over there to your left? Yeah, I read them all everyday, but I don’t always comment. Mostly, because I’m lazy. But, I do try to comment at least every couple of posts. I want the authors to know I’m reading and to validate their efforts a little bit.

There are two distinct schools of thought on comments. There are those that carry on conversations via comments, and those that say what they want to say and never look back. Me? I’m a converser. I’ll check comments again later and see if anyone responded to my comment. I’ve always wanted to respond to all of my commenters as well, but, again see the aforementioned laziness. WordPress allows me to edit any of the comments I get, so I’m resolving to respond to your comments now. My stuff if the italicized print at the bottom of your comments.

Thanks again for visiting my new place. Have a seat in the comfy velour chair and help yourself to a frosty beverage.

Come on in

So, like the new digs? I gots me my very own website. Oh, don’t be too jealous. One day, you too may be living the high life like little ol’ me.

Seriously, though, you’re going to have to be a little patient with me. I’m a complete novice with WordPress, so things may get a bit wonky around here as I stumble around in the dark. Just consider this place a construction zone… if you’re lucky, you might get a catcall or two.

Secondly, thank you to all of you that link me and have to endure the pain in your ass known as changing the URL in your template. Luckily, all you have to do is delete the “.blogspot” and add some w’s. Your efforts will not go unrewarded. Wait, that sounds like I’m going to pay you or something for linking me. And you know I’m broke, right? So you’d better be looking elsewhere for a handout, got it?

Yes, it’s another post about Harry Potter. Get over it.

I was talking to some folks at the Workplace the other day about the most recent Harry Potter book. Turns out, several of them immediately read the epilogue and then started reading the beginning of the book. This absolutely floors me. I honestly cannot comprehend “ruining” a book by reading it that way. But I guess I’m just weird like that.

Anyhow, I’ve also talked to a couple of people who just don’t get the whole “Harry Potter thing.” They’ve maybe read the first book or saw one of the movies and it just wasn’t their thing. I can relate. There have been books and movies that didn’t take my fancy. I actually hated the first Lord of the Rings movie. I thought it was too long and the ending pissed me off. I ended up seeing and enjoying the remaining two movies, though.

My take on the Potter phenomenon may be unique, but I’ll bore you with it share it with you nonetheless. I didn’t find the books to be terribly well written or extraordinary in any way. I just liked the story. I liked that it engaged my imagination and took me places I’d never heard of before. When I read a series of books, I become involved with the characters. Emotionally involved. If a book and it’s characters are truly brought to life by the author, I care about them. When a series ends, it’s like I’ve lost friends. Dear God, doesn’t that sound like the most pathetic thing ever? But you know what? I’m not deleting it. It’s true. That’s why I’m such an avid reader. I get swept away with a good book. No TV show or movie has ever done that for me. But, I’m not about to dress up in my Gryffindor robes and start shouting “Expecto Patronum!” on my front yawn. They’re stories. Not real life. Although, it would be wicked cool to be able to do some of that stuff. Personally, I’d really like to be able to shoot laser beams out my eyeballs and vaporize the retards other drivers on my daily commute. But, again, that’s just me.

I’ve also heard some people say that they have fundamental beliefs that don’t allow them to read the books. The one I hear more often than others is “I don’t believe in witchcraft. It’s evil.” First of all, that’s a contradiction. How can you tell me you don’t believe in something and then proceed to assign it a moral value? Then, there’s the issue of fantasy versus reality. Entertainment has been made up of fantasy for hundreds of years. Reality TV is a fairly recent advent. Most of us want to be transported out of our humdrum daily lives by entertainment. Movies, TV, radio programs… they’re all fantasy designed to take our minds off the bills, the kids, the car repairs, etc, for brief period of time. Secondly, these books are about the age-old story of Good vs. Evil. I’ll give you hint – Good wins most of the time, but not without collateral damage. Kinda like life, I guess. I honestly don’t get the mind set of parents who forbid their children to read the series. Do they honestly think they can “protect” their children from everything in the world that may clash with their beliefs? And, let’s face it, the more fundamentalist you are, the more things are going to clash. Isn’t it better to let you child either, A. decide what they believe for themselves, or B. expose them to things like fantasy books and let their imagination run wild being careful to explain how your beliefs fit in there? Growing up, my parents let me read anything I wanted, short of erotic material. When I was 16, we moved to St Louis and the first week we were there, I went to the library to get a card. Unbeknownst to me, their policy was to issue a “children’s card” to anyone under 18. This meant that I was only allowed to check out books that the library had deemed as appropriate for a child. Fairly shortly after getting my card, I tried to check out Imajica, by Clive Barker. DE. NIED. And the librarian was not budging. She explained to me about the children’s cards and directed me to the “teen” section to find a more suitable book. So, I took my indignant ass home and told my mom what happened. She drove me back to the library and proceeded to explain to the librarian that she was, in fact, my parent and she was responsible for deciding what I was allowed to read. She went on to explain that I was currently allowed to read any book in the library that I wanted to. She requested that I be issued a new “adult” library card immediately. Which, of course, I was. I checked out my book and loved every word of it. Clive Barker is still one of my favorite authors.

I will be that kind of parent to Maddie. I consider it my job to instill good morals and values in her that cannot easily be dissuaded by a book about a magic school and kids who fly on broomsticks. I want her to be able to read a book, or watch a movie and still be secure in her beliefs. There will be times when something she reads or watches may force her to question her beliefs. I know this and welcome it. She’ll be challenged every day to stand for what she believes and she’ll need all the practice she can get.

What’s love got to do with it?

So, here I am, thinking Maddie’s got a cold. I sent her to the babysitter’s yesterday and went to work. Last night, she was miserable. Crusty-eyed, puffy-faced and pissed. I took her to the pediatrician this morning and it turns out her “cold” is really a sinus, ear and double eye infection. Three prescriptions worth of sickness.

I feel terrible. If I had taken her to he doctor when she first got sick, she’d be almost better by now. Just when I think I’m getting the hang of this parenting thing, life pulls an Ike Turner and bitch slaps me right across the mouth.

Dorkness Confirmed

Gerald and I saw Order of the Phoenix while my dad and his wife watched Maddie. Is it just me, or did anyone else think Daniel Radcliffe is turning into quite the little hottie? And I hear he’s legal now. Of course, I heard this from my husband, so that kinda put a damper on the news, you know?

I was pretty happy with the movie, in general. I mean, they left out an awful lot, but what can you do? I sort of feel sorry for the people that haven’t read the books and are only seeing the movies. They’re missing out on a lot more story.

Speaking of stories, I finished Deathly Hallows last night about 11:00. My dorkness was confirmed by the tears I shed. I was very happy with the book and the ending. Good on you, J.K.

Maddie seems to be on the mend. She’s still a little congested and has a bit of a cough, but she’s not acting sick at all. A little sleepier than usual, but that’s all. Today, I was supposed to take her to have her portrait taken, but I thought it might be best to wait until this weekend when she’s back to her old self. So, we took a trip to Target today, instead. Nothing exciting, but it was nice to get out of the house with her. She’s interested in the things she sees, now, so shopping trips are a bit more fun than they used to be.

I may be 10 steps behind you other moms and dads out there, but I discovered something that may prove helpful to you. I’ve had a problem with Maddie’s bibs ruining things in the laundry. The velcro doesn’t stay together in the washer or the dryer and the tabs end up stuck to other clothing items. They’ve ruined some lace edges, three pairs of tights and some ribbon trim. Well, I finally got a clue and bought a mesh lingerie bag. Now, I put all of Maddie’s bibs in the bag when I do her laundry. The tabs still come apart, but they only stick the inside of the bag. And at $.97 a bag, I don’t care if I have to replace them. Pretty nifty, huh?

Only four more weeks left at the Workplace. I’m getting very excited. I’m going to get to be home with Maddie just as she’s starting to hit some major milestones. Crawling, pulling up, cruising and walking. Not to mention talking! Oh – on the “mama” front…. It’s a no. She’s stopped saying it entirely and has gone back to blowing raspberries as her favorite form of communication. She still babbles, but no more “mama.” I’m not worried, though. I know it’s coming sooner or later.

Check out the suspicion here. Like I’m offering her a nice, cold glass of anti-freeze.

Yes, I am a dork

Today’s the day. Will Harry die? Will we find out where Snape’s loyalty truly lies? Will Ron and Hermione get together? Will Harry FINALLY be able to tell off the Dursleys?

Instead of sitting at home, anxiously awaiting the delivery of my Amazon box, I will be at the movies. Seeing, you guessed it, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Perhaps when we get home, there will be a box waiting for me.

When the sixth book was released, I read it straight through in five or six hours. This time around, I have a baby. Not only a baby, but a sick baby. Something tells me it’s going to be more than five or six hours before I get this one finished. Therefore, I’m avoiding all news sites, news channels or anyone else talking about the book. I do not want spoilers. I will not be turning to the last page first to find out Harry’s fate. I want the pleasure of reading the book from start to finish not knowing what’s going to happen.

I hope those of you out there who are anxiously awaiting your own box, or who might already be reading your copy, have a great time on this last adventure with the Hogwarts gang.