Please make time stop right now
It’s just me and Maddie. Alone for the first time since we left the hospital last week. She’s curled up in the fetal position and lying on my chest with her tiny little hand gripping my shirt as if she’ll never let go. Her body is a warm and comfortable weight on my heart. I know that in the coming years I will wish for this moment back a million times over. I want to capture it and keep it forever.
I am in awe of this power that I have to soothe and comfort her. In my arms, nothing bad could ever get her. She knows this. She sleeps and sighs and knows she is safe. I am her momma. I will kiss boo-boos and make them better. I will chase away bad dreams and monsters under the bed. I will hug and hold and love until the day I die.
I had no idea there was a hole in my heart until she came along and filled it so perfectly. I had no idea that I was capable of such love until she came along and took it so effortlessly from me. I will forever be grateful to this perfect little girl for showing me what I am made of. Every time I think I can’t possibly endure any more pain, one more sleepless night, one more emotional breakdown, one more cough or one more worry, I do. I will always endure more for the sake of my daughter. I will walk to hell and back for her.
Filed under: uncategorized on January 30th, 2007
Please make sure Maddie sees this some day. You are a wonderful mother!
Elis
You’ll do Erica, and how!!!! Big happy grin. *G*
Warm hugs,
Paul.
Good grief Erica…now you’ve made me cry!
Take Care.
Yo
Awwww… *sniffles* That was lovely. Good for you!
You know, the closest explanation I’ve ever heard for the love you feel for your new baby is to compare it to that heady, fabulous feeling of infatuation when you first fall in love.
It’s a lot like that but a hundred times brighter.
I’m so so happy for you, Erica. So very happy for all three of you.
That being said, please please PLEASE do not beat yourself up when Maddie will sometimes not be able to let you comfort her. Because that will happen sometimes. It’s no reflection upon you as a mom; it just happens. She’s a little individual too and she has her own feelings and physical hurdles to clear in this world, tiny as she is. Sometimes, no matter how much you hold her, change the diaper, burp her, sing to her, feed her, love her, sometimes no matter what, they simply won’t stop crying no matter what you do. It’s usually gastric and due to a new little body adjusting to the world. Trust that she’ll get through it and trust that you’re a great mom!
Breathe deep, take a few moments to relax and tell yourself she’s okay, everything is okay, she’s just crying, and as her Mom you’re deeply programmed to get very anxious and upset whenever she cries, even if, intellectually speaking, you know she’s fine. It’s hard to argue with that instinctive feeling, so just breathe deep and love her and know that everything will be okay soon.
{{{hugs}}}
Amber
All I can say is…
This is what parenthood is all about! Welcome aboard!
HUGS!
grace