It’s not all pink socks and clean baby smell
My recovery is a slow and painful process. I am carrying approximately 20lbs of excess fluid in my abdomen. My feet and ankles are painfully swollen as well. Two days ago, I rolled over in bed and part of my incision opened and released a torrent of blood and fluid. I was terrified, sitting there in a puddle of my own blood. I thought I was going to die. A call to the emergency line at my doctor’s office quickly calmed me. This is normal, she said. It’s supposed to drain. Ok… but why didn’t anyone tell me that? I certainly would have remembered hearing about this.
I’m also sick. Bronchitis, in my non-medically-certified opinion. I’m wheezing and coughing up very unattractive things.
And have I mentioned the hives? I started running a fever while I was still in the hospital. They put me on antibiotics and I think after taking them for a week and I may be sensitive to it. I’ve got hives on my cheeks, neck, chest and belly. The hives on my belly are the worst. Not only is that skin stretched and swollen, but it’s red and itchy, too.
Last night, we had our first bad night with Maddie. She absolutely did not want to sleep, to spite being awake for a few hours before bed. I think she was overtired. She seemed so uncomfortable and just could not be soothed. It was sheer hell not knowing what was wrong or how to fix it. Gerald and I just took turns holding and rocking and feeding and trying not to break down. Today seems a little better. She still seems a little uncomfortable, but she’s sound asleep after her last feeding.
I think I may have some of those “baby blues.” I’m so tired of feeling bad and I’m not having any fun anymore. It used to be all cute and sweet and now it’s all upset and crying. I don’t want to do this anymore. And I feel like such a horrible mother that after a week I’m wondering what I’ve gotten myself into.
Please pray or send peaceful thoughts our way.
Filed under: uncategorized on January 27th, 2007
Hi….it’s the anonymous person who posted a month or so ago when you were upset about the prospect of daycare. Having just gone through what you’re experiencing (minus the hives - yikes!), I can tell you that it does get better. The first six weeks or so are chaos and misery, especially with a c-section and baby blues (I had both).
My mantra became, “You can do this….it will get easier.” I must have said that a million times, especially when I didn’t think I was going to make it through the day. Things began to normalize when my son was about 8 weeks old (he’s 11 weeks now). It was hard, but we made it through, and you will, too.
Best wishes and congrats on a beautiful baby girl.
~Jana (Anonymous)
I remember a day just like you have described. I reheated my dinner plate 5 times and still never ate.
It will get better I promise. It’s just like a new job for you two and her. You all have only been on this job for not even two weeks. You’ll get better, she’ll get used to the outside of you. Things will be good before you know it.
The doc’s going to take a look at your belly right? One night very soon you will pee all night not getting a wink of sleep. The next morning you will have ankles again!
Huggs
Theresa
Thank you, Jana. Your comment made me cry! Although, to be fair, a lot makes me cry these days.
Seriously, it’s so nice to know that I’m not alone in how I feel. It’s so easy to become isolated when you’re a new parent. Thank you so much for reaching out and commenting.
It’ll get better, Erica. It really really will. I went through my days of feeling like I was the worst mommy ever. Heck, Jenna’s 2 now and I still feel that way some days!!
~Laura (from the fishbowl)